The Courage of Forgiveness

A Stunning Sky to Start the Day

Non-violence is the natural outgrowth of the law of forgiveness and love. Paramhansa Yogananda

Forgiveness is the might of the mighty.  Mohandas Gandhi

I come to this day’s post with hope that my country is shifting its foreign policy focus away from the tolls of war and toward peace.  My thoughts come in the wake of the energy of children visiting here at Dragonfly House this week and the energy of innocence that they live in, in awareness of the anniversary tomorrow of ‘9/11’, and in gratitude for the brave world leaders who endeavor to bring peace via an arms treaty with Iran.  They come as well with gratitude for those who work for peace in many ways – moment to moment, day to day.

I wonder what depth of courage would be required in order for forgiveness to become our might, our power, our strength.  Rather, what would it take to recognize that in forgiveness, not in weapons, is where true strength lies?

My truth in this moment is that I don’t know. It’s easy to talk of peace and forgiveness from afar, from my ‘ivory tower’ nestled in the peaceful woods of the Rocky Mountains.  It’s easy to be for peace from this place.

But what if I had been more directly impacted by the events of September 11, 2001?  What if I were facing a violent threat in this moment?  Would have the courage to stand in forgiveness of the ones committing this act?

My experience of forgiveness in life is of less violent events than these. And, forgiveness didn’t come in the moment. I needed time to get to the place where I could forgive. I needed to experience anger, indignation, and a sense that I needed to fight back.  I needed to understand that ‘fighting back’ had no return and that there was no getting even. 

Even though I’ve had that experience, I doubt that I have the capacity bring forgiveness forward instantly.  But that doesn’t stop me from wondering, from dreaming ‘what if I did?’  Indeed, it propels me to wonder what if we all had the ‘courage of forgiveness’?  What if world leaders engaged in conversation, negotiation, leadership from this ‘might’ not the might of the sword?  What if …?

Mountain Majesty

Back to School/Back to Joy

Early Morning Orbs at the Ziggurat

If we are to live in joy and in accomplishment, we must release our cells from self-imposed restrictions so they can sense, interpret and move us with the changing times. We need to be ready to respond and to use our experiences to our advantage.  Gregge Tiffen (What You Should Get From Education - 2007

It’s ‘back to school’ week here in the Sangres. This morning’s quote provided me with the ‘back to school’ jolt I needed to recognize that I’d fallen into a pattern of rote response to daily events. No joy. No awareness of using those events to my advantage.

Fortunately ‘back to school’ didn’t require pre-school shopping and scurrying around (plenty of the later just tending to life). I simply needed to STOP, breathe, recognize and reset.  I stopped early yesterday, putting my head on the pillow before darkness fell.  I wasn’t aware just what that stopping would bring, and after a few deep breaths of gratitude, I was fast asleep.

It was only when I hit the books this morning for the spark of inspiration to kick off this week’s post that I took the time to recognize (and acknowledge) that I was slogging through events each day.  I was ‘getting things done’ and in the doing I was more focused on what needed to be done next than on the activity at hand.

I wasn’t miserable, but I definitely felt stressed. And, where there is stress, there is no joy and little, if any true accomplishment. Yes, tasks get done, but without the awareness needed for the experience to bring forth any wisdom. Unknowingly, I’d stepped back into some old ways, rotely responding to Luke’s needs, my garden’s call to ‘come harvest’, preparing meals, running my B&B, attending a county commissioner’s meeting, and a host of other ‘to dos’.  The quote above woke me up to that awareness with the recognition that I was moving through life with a sense of dread.

So this day (and probably several that follow) is dedicated to resetting and getting me back in tune.  I started on our morning walk, putting my attention on feeling the cool air, smelling the freshness, and hearing the quiet of early morning in this beautiful place.  I set aside the ‘to do’ list and stayed present, allowing the beauty of the day to envelope me. I returned home, interacted with a departing guest, cared for Luke and then took myself out on the deck with a nourishing bowl of fruit and cup of tea. 

I took some time to reflect on this process of ‘resetting’ and outlined what I wanted to commit to in this reset:

·        Take time as each task is complete to recognize the accomplishment.

·        Step into each task with joy and gratitude.

·        Keep my attention on the task at hand, not ‘what’s next’.

·        Take care of me – rest and nourishment when I need them (not when I have time for them).

I’m clear that the return to my old ways of moving through each day put me out of sync with the current patterns of the Universe and of me. Perhaps that’s true on such a broad scale that the world is in ever increasing chaos.  What if we each checked our settings regularly to ensure that we are in tune? What kind of world would we create if we simply took time to stop, breathe, recognize, and reset?

The Tree of Joy and Wisdom!

Leave of Absence

“Animals are here as companions and stabilizers. Having a direct connection to the earth, they serve the important function of being able to ground and stabilize our energies by taking our excess energy and feeding it back to the earth. They – along with plants – absorb a lot of negative energy. As we nurture and care for them, they leave us calmer in the midst of our sometimes chaotic incarnate experience. ”

— Gregge Tiffen (Life in the World Hereafter: The Journey Continues)

A mid-summer trip to the Great Sand Dunes nearby. 

No I’m taking ‘leave’ from this weekly post. It is, after all, one of my sweetest ‘to dos’, and I treasure the process and the energy each and every week.  Luke, however, is on leave from one his very favorite things:  official greeter here at Dragonfly House.  It seems that something zapped his immune system, and he is in allergy hell and the likelihood that he’s also contracted tiny mites.

In the midst of keeping a number of important balls in the air, ‘Lukie care’ has been a primary activity over the last several weeks. In addition to our vet recommended medication, I’ve chosen to direct a fair amount of energy to his care. A naturopath friend guided me in creating a protocol to ease his discomfort and move the healing along more quickly. The energy of giving that care, plus being watchful to intervene when he scratches, licks or bites has deepened my appreciation for all caregivers and the for the caregiver in each of us.

His condition and the care that I’m giving have given me pause for reflection and taken me back to Gregge Tiffen’s writing about our relationship to nature. 

In my reflection, I’m deeply aware of how calming my time caring for Luke has become.  I say ‘has become’, because in the first week, I was feeling frantic and overwhelmed (not the energy I would choose to bring to healing). Luke though, ever the teacher, is his ever calm, ever steady self.  He lies peacefully as I apply homemade essential oil ointment. He doesn’t fight being in the ‘cone zone’.  He’s a true model of trusting and receiving.

Cool Hand Luke Skywalker continues to teach me new lessons in patience and love.  While he may be healing and on leave from his job as ‘Chief Welcoming Officer’, Luke and all the animals are always on duty as an element of nature in service to humankind.  Our world is more perfect than we know and, perhaps, than we have the capacity to accept.  And, I am grateful for their service.

Life in the 'Cone Zone'.

In League With The Angels

“In effect, negative levels of earth consciousness will contribute to defeating the positive levels of non-physical consciousness. In other words, when we have someone who is nasty or when we get depressed, we are in league with the devil. Gregge Tiffen (Do The Angels Take A Vacation? – August, 2007)”

The simple beauty of early morning's haze.

My coach recently shared the fun she had after a momentary panic when she discovered that her computer had been hacked. She was writing away in the wee hours of the morning when suddenly a message popped up to ‘call this number immediately for assistance’.  She called and after paying a fee for the assistance, realized that she’d been had. Rather than trekking the path most of us would likely choose (anger, fear, etc.), she played along, not letting on that she was onto their scam.  While she was getting her computer repaired by a legitimate techie, she took advantage of the 24/7 help that she’d paid for, and called the scammers with questions at all hours of the night.

When she shared this story, I could hear the lightness in voice and feel it in her spirit. Complete absence of feeling like a victim. Her response was much like I imagine the Dali Lama responds when things don’t go exactly as planned on this path.  It was good for a laugh and a reminder to, if you will, take the high road.  (I don’t know about you, but I need that reminder quite frequently.)

I confess: I’m not there consistently regarding current events in my life.  In the last few weeks as I’ve been immersed in concern for and care of Luke (summer allergies and a weakened system seem to have left him vulnerable to mites or some other canine biting critters); along with leading my community in opposition to a marijuana growing operation in our neighborhood and hosting guests in the B&B’s busiest month of the year, I’ve needed to be vigilant to maintain my positivity.

I don’t do so just for my own sake (although life does flow much more easily when I’m in that place), but also as a contribution to the well-being of our planet. I’ve come to understand that we are always contributing to the atmosphere.  I want contribute positively, especially at this time when positivity seems quite needed.

Stories remind me not to take myself and the events in my life too gravely.  Quiet time for reflection opens me to listen for the guidance ever present no matter what opportunities life presents. Being in nature demonstrates to me that being alive is a process and that change is constant. 

These in turn lead me back to my core conviction that my life (indeed all life) is unfolding perfectly for my (our) learning.  I’m reminded as well that, like my coach, I alone am at the helm, choosing how and where to use my energy each moment, each day.

When I choose with anger and fear, I choose to be the victim, in league with the devil’s negativity. When I choose with compassion, love, and grace I see challenges as opportunities to experiment, to create, to learn and grow. I may even get to express me in some new way.

The world would have us believe that only those who do ‘big’ things make a difference. Not so.  Moment to moment, step by step, choice to choice each of us is contributing to the atmosphere on our dear planet earth.  She needs us to make uplifting, positive choices. How will I contribute today? What about you?

The Gift of Resistance

Most of us have two lives: the life we live and the life within us.  Between the two stands Resistance.  Steven Pressfield

In Resistance is the gift. Cindy Reinhardt

A beautiful hike on Spanish Creek in the quiet of morning's beauty.

At one time or another most of us have been told (by self or another) to overcome our resistance and ‘just do it’.  Whatever ‘it’ may be, if we’re resisting then certainly it’s something that we ‘should’ (ugh!) do.  Of course, there are times when this is a choice that serves us, moving us ahead toward a goal or keeping us on a favorable path.  But, for any resistance on the surface, there is something deeper to be discovered.

This week I (re)discovered that the more deeply I examine my resistance (in this case with support from my coach), the richer my awareness is.  All too often though, we don’t take that deeper look.  Heck, I wasn’t even aware that I was resisting.  

My pattern, when I do notice my resistance is for my ‘should-o-meter’ to kick in. I automatically tell myself to ‘stop resisting’ and ‘just do it’. After all, that’s how you conquer life, right?

But what about those times when our resistance may have a different message, one accessible only with a bit of digging?  For me this week the message from resistance was 180 degrees from ‘just do it’.  Upon taking a close look, I saw that my resistance was asking me to reassess a business decision. My clue to look deeper came when I noticed that I felt trapped by that decision. It seemed that I had to do it: no choice, no renegotiation, ‘just do it’. Ugh!

What was it that had me feel trapped? Working with my coach (thank you Patrece!), I realized that I had made a decision to essentially trade my personal peace for a short term financial gain.  I would likely suffer (rather than laugh) all the way to the bank. It’s little wonder that I was resisting. The gain wasn’t worth it.

My willingness to look at my resistance to doing a few small actions presented me with the gift of this awareness.  Had I barreled through and ‘just done’ those things, I mostly likely would have created a week of stress. And that would have taken me significant energy to recover from.  In resistance is the gift.

As I began to see the situation from this perspective, a clear course of action revealed itself. I needed to renegotiate a promise with a customer. Surprisingly, I felt no resistance. That path felt much lighter. After some initial reluctance, the customer agreed. This week is unfolding nicely.

I’m not suggesting that there aren’t times when we need to overcome resistance and just get ourselves into action.  I’m sure that I’ll have those from time to time as I continue this sojourn.  Our learning opportunity is one of discernment, of stepping back and taking a look at our resistance to determine whether it is simply lazy, childish avoidance (yes, we do); an underlying fear that it’s time to address; or, as with me this week, it wants my attention for the sake of inviting me to take a deeper look at a choice that I’ve made.

The Knowledge of Experience

A stem bends to find the needed sun.

We naturally and progressively change when we absorb the potential knowledge inherent in an experience, which means we become more knowledgeable physically, mentally and spiritually.  Patrece on behalf of P-Systems (The XYZs of Karmic Experience – Series 7, Week 45)

The quote above caught my attention last week as one I wanted to reflect on. What does it mean to become more knowledgeable physically, I wondered? But as happens, life’s events stepped into the spotlight of my attention (or, you might say they took over my life this week), and that reflection only came back around this morning as I mused about this 103rd post (yes, next week is our 2nd anniversary!).

I like the idea that we naturally change as we absorb knowledge in the experiences we have in life. Perhaps trusting in this could release some of the pressure we put on ourselves to learn and grow. What if my growth is as simple as walking through life, from experience to experience, trusting that when I’m awake in those experiences, I am adding knowledge and as I add knowledge, I naturally change.  That sounds like a favorable zone from which to live.

Think about it for a moment. We humans are part of nature. Look at the natural world around you, a tree, a flower, a bird, your pet. They progress through their life cycle naturally.  On some level the flower uses the knowledge that it requires sunshine to grow. With this knowledge, a stem bends to place the bud in more sunlight.

Our pets learn through the experience of interacting with us what elicits a ‘good boy!’ and what brings forth ‘bad dog’.  They apply that learning day to day.

So many people in my life, both clients and friends, are facing huge challenges and changes – forced job changes, health issues, death of a loved one, recovery from surgery.  Sometimes we think that only those ‘big’ events hold the gold of learning. 

In no way do I want to minimize such events. Like each of us, I’ve been there/done that – death of parents, divorce, job changes, challenges in relationships and business.  Likewise, I don’t want to give them more attention or credit them for more of my learning than just living life, step-by-step, day-by-day. That is after all how we move through these events.

As I navigate life today, I see that it wasn’t just those big events that held the gift of learning for me.  Daily activity has taught my body the amount of rest and care that it needs. Hopefully, I use that knowledge to make choices to support it.  Operating my bed and breakfast gives me the opportunity to learn new expressions of my creativity in creating a comfortable space for myself and others.  It stretches me to have the energy of others who I don’t know sharing my home. I can feel the change that has come gradually over the last year. Likewise with my leadership role on the local water board. And, of course, being ‘mom’ to Cool Hand Luke is rich with learning (this week we’re focused on patience).

I'm trying not to lick mom, really I am, but it itches ...

The beauty that I see in looking at learning from this place is that it isn’t just the stuff we label ‘bad’ or ‘challenging’ from which we learn, grow and change.  We don’t need to sign up for yet another class. It is the very experience of life itself from which we change. The simple elegance of life reveals itself once again.

Patience rewarded ...

Guided By Our Stories

Early morning sky ...

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everyone has their story. We are all different. We are all the same. Gregge Tiffen (Personal Session)

Consciously or not our decisions are rarely, if ever, based on just the facts. Rather it is our stories that guide (or control) the choices that we make. For the most part, our history along with our thoughts, beliefs and feelings create our stories.

Take the simple choice between ‘store’ brand and ‘recognized’ brand for example. Some people hold a story that the ‘store’ brand is less expensive than and the same quality (maybe even made in the same place) as the ‘recognized’ brand. Others prefer the ‘recognized’ brand based on their story that it is superior in quality. Unless we’re challenged by someone or presented with new information, we rarely question our choices. And, we definitely don’t think about the stories on which our decisions are based.

But, perhaps doing so would support us to be more aware of and to question the stories we hold around the bigger choices in life.

I recently found myself angry (you were wondering what that quote had to do with stories, right?) about a situation in my community near the quiet home I love. A nearby neighbor is proposing to construct several large greenhouses for cultivating organic vegetables and marijuana (it’s legal here, you know). His story is that everything grown is for his family’s personal consumption. Based on the size of the facility and just a bit of research, that story just doesn’t add up.  And, it triggered my best ‘how dare he’ reaction. 

Peace, joy, happiness? Nowhere in my sight.

After a few days of being in this reaction each time I thought about it, I decided to look at my stories.  My reaction was so strong that it couldn’t just be based on the facts.  First, was my story that his story just didn’t add up.  Underneath that I found a story that ‘he must think I’m stupid’ (talk about taking it personally), along with stories about the negative impacts on the peace, quiet, tranquility of our neighborhood. It took me a while to realize that I was disrupting my peace with all the stories racing around in my head.

It was a sobering and empowering wake-up call to become aware that I’d allowed my stories to undermine my peace. I challenged myself to shift. Not my stories, but how I was holding them.  How could I respond from a place of care without taking it personally? How might my response be different, if I allowed compassion to enter the scene?

I felt lighter immediately. And, for the most part, I’m carrying this lightness into my written comments to the governing board as well as my conversations with others in the community.  Along the way I discovered that maintaining my personal peace doesn’t necessarily require changing everything in my story. Rather, it invites me to look at my story piece by piece and to be willing to evaluate each with a different intention and a willingness to reject those pieces that stand in the way of my peace.

And, that’s a story that I’m aiming to call forth more often.

... and stunning vistas help me maintain my sense of peace.

Agitation

Sometimes clouds obscure part of the mountain ...

Bright, aware minds do not let anything pass by without running it through a sieve to see what is going to come out of it. ‘I want to do something with this, or I don’t want to do something with this’ is the analytical process that begins immediately. The result of the process is called choice which is your will. If you refuse to go through the process of such analysis, you are not exercising your will. Gregge Tiffen (The Language of a Mystic: Awareness; July, 2009)

Like the hammer, a tool that can be used to repair or to build as well as to injure or to destroy, agitation has both a light side and a dark. 

As one who likes to stir things up, I tend to focus on the positive. After all, the agitation of a washing machine moves the water, detergent and clothes around to clean them.  And, what social change has ever been gained that didn’t start with political activists agitating others into action?

This week I’ve found myself feeling the dark side of agitation: irritated and restless.  Luke might just share that he’s found me a little testy and on edge on those rare occasions when he didn’t respond quickly when called.  Some might call it ‘cranky’.  You likely know what I mean. Perhaps you even find yourself visiting this mood from time to time.

One of my first thoughts was ‘I shouldn’t be feeling this way.’  Oops!  Let’s not make it worse by pronouncing blame and guilt.  I was beginning to exercise my will. I don’t like feeling this way. And, I surely don’t like my behavior, but rather than push it aside, I decided to take a peek at what might be at the root of this edition if my agitation. I want to do something with this!

It took only a little reflection to find quite a list of things that I’d treated as either ‘no big deal’ or issues that I have no control over.  I’d piled them up with no awareness, ignoring the process of making choices, of exercising my will.  I was moving through the day with little awareness, and I’d been doing so for longer than I’d like to admit.  I’d allowed worry to replace conscious choice. Agitation had replaced the simple joy of moving through life one sacred moment at a time.

My agitation woke me up to unconscious choices that I’d made not exercising my will. From there I’m able to choose differently and to step back into the joy that is life, moment by moment, choice by choice.  To paraphrase Gregge Tiffen: If will is the means by which consciousness exercises itself, be sure that you’re getting enough exercise! 

Then, the mountain (and life!) becomes crystal clear.

Staying In Tune With Our Unique Rhythm

Sometimes we play ...

Everyone and everything has a different rhythm.   Conditions become chaotic when you are not in a position to manage the harmonics of your core energy to create.  Gregge Tiffen (The Journey Continues: Time Travels – July, 2010)

As I look back on a fun, whirlwind week with visiting friends and ahead to the many guests scheduled to stay here at the Dragonfly House over the next several weeks, I have a keen awareness of just how different our individual rhythms are. Each of us marches to the beat of our own drummer.  Or, we give our power to others (partners, employers, children, etc.) to set our pace.  We might even use goals or set deadlines that are contrary to our natural rhythm in an effort to be ‘productive’.

Learning my rhythm continues to be a big part of my life experiment and experience. Although the learning never stops, I’d say that I do a pretty good job of honoring my natural rhythm as I understand it. I think that my greatest learning is doing so with grace (or at least a modicum thereof).

None of us live in isolation. Our lives require coordination with others and with their unique rhythms and commitments.  Perhaps it’s no wonder that there is so much chaos and discordance in our world. It makes me wonder:

What if one of the keys to personal (and, therefore, planetary) peace is to learn to maintain our rhythm while allowing others with whom we live, work, and play to do the same?

The simplicity of this idea draws me inward. Looking back for just a moment, I notice how testy and demanding I become when I’m feel that staying in my rhythm is threatened. I have little room for grace.

A deep breath and a spark of curiosity open the door for wondering how I might engage with others by putting rhythm on the table as a part of the conversation. It seems to me that doing so would create an environment that is much friendlier, one where grace might show up naturally with ease.  I think it will take some experimentation and lots of practice to master maintaining my rhythm with grace.

And, the resulting personal peace will be well worth the effort. 

After thousands of years of war, perhaps learning to step into our own rhythm with grace may contribute one small step toward creating not just a peaceful personal life, but peace on the planet as well.

Other times we rest.

Changes in Scenery, Changes in Pace (Summer, 2015 Version)

Red Rocks Amphitheater - Morrison, Colorado

When we start doing things that are repetitive we begin to lose any sense of the experience. We lose any issue of the creative element. Gregge Tiffen

This week brought both changes of pace and scenery as dear friends arrived for a visit early in the week. It’s great fun to share my home and the quiet beauty that I write about most every week.  I’ve been especially looking forward to sharing my slower pace of life and leisurely exploring the area with them. No set schedule. A few days of relaxed exploration. But then …

The Universe, always presenting opportunity for making choices, presented just that in the first hour of my friends’ arrival, when I answered a call from a local friend.  “I know you have company coming, but I have tickets to the Neil Young concert at Red Rocks (near Denver, four hours away).  You probably can’t leave your friends, but I wanted to call you and ask. Oh, and let you know that I won’t be able to take care of Luke as planned on Wednesday.” 

I took a breath. Said, “no problem re Luke. Hmm … I wonder if we could get two more tickets … of course I need to see if my friends are interested … let me ask.”  I asked.  “Neil Young!? Red Rocks?  Love him. Always wanted to go there!! Let’s do it!”

And so a new plan began and it brought forth a very different energy than I’d expected. A bit of rushing about to arrange for Luke’s care, take care of business, and prepare to be out of town for a couple days. 

I fell into the excitement and the push. At the same time, I noticed that I felt out of my rhythm.  I sensed it was a good learning opportunity when the energy felt a bit uncomfortable.  Was ‘going with this flow’ to come at a high price?  What do I need to take care of myself while engaging in this different pace? 

Rest was the first thought.  Early to bed on the night before travelling.  Deep breaths and consciously letting go of needing for the trip to unfold in any particular way – not easy for my inner ‘control-freak’ [those of you who know me are smiling, if not laughing out loud]. 

As I wrote the above, we were on the road enroute to Denver. Rain was pouring from the sky and Red Rocks is an outdoor venue.   We acknowledged that it could be a soggy (or worse) evening.  But whatever the weather, the fun of stepping out into a different energy field with friends can’t be washed away.

It was raining gently as we began our trek from the parking lot to the amphitheater, but by the time we climbed the stairs into the venue (and our row 17 center seats!) it slowed to a drizzle. And, by the time Neil Young took the stage, the rain had stopped.  

I experienced a fun night in a beautiful location and received the gift of remembering that a step outside my quiet life awakens me to experience life in a different lane.  Not the lane I choose to live in day to day, but one that’s fun to ease into from time to time. 

An amazing show ... the 'Rebel Content' Show.  I relate.