Grateful for my Buts

Wherever you’ve added the word “but”, you have given yourself a major handle to identify what you are depending upon. Patrece on behalf of P-Systems, www.P-SystemsInc.com

A few weeks back, inspired by this quote in a lesson from the weekly series “The ABC’s of Awareness”,  I began to experiment with the idea of how the habit of using the word ‘but’ reveals dependency.

I’ve come to see ‘but’ as yet another clue to where we abdicate our personal power and step outside of the Universal law of independence.  From this awareness, we can step more fully back into our power to act (and interact) independently, which after all is our nature and our responsibility.

So, I began (and continue) to notice my ‘buts’, to consider what they reveal, and to explore what different, independent choices I have the opportunity to make:

• I feel strongly guided to stop, be quiet, read, listen, but I need to (walk the dog, work on my website, make calls; that is, to do those things expected in business).
• I want to develop this aspect of my business, but I don’t like how others approach it.
• I want to travel to Costa Rica in February, but I can’t afford it.

I’m grateful for discovering what my ‘buts’ reveal:  I’m depending on being fulfilled by completing a ‘to do’ list, what other people think, and (one we all know well) money. There’s something powerful about noticing and acknowledging this.  Now let’s look at the choices I have from this awareness:

• I choose to do the things on my list because I’m committed to consistent action in my business. OR, I choose honor this guidance to stop, be quiet, listen and trust that I will also take care of the other activities that need my attention. OR, I gather my energy and organize my time to choose both.
• I notice my dependence on what others do and think and let it go, choosing to simply take the approach and action that is consistent with my design. OR, I choose not to develop this business.
• I make the commitment to travel to Costa Rica, including the commitment to manifest the needed funds. OR, I decide that going to Costa Rica at this time isn’t in my best interest financially.

You probably notice that there’s not a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ choice. Simply, I have the choice to choose, observe the results, and choose again.  As I deepen this practice, I notice that when I articulate my choice clearly I feel empowered and supported in the direction I’ve chosen.  When I simply do one or the other, without declaring a clear choice, I feel a nagging angst, often wishing I was (or thinking I should be) doing the other.

Experiment for the Week:  Notice your own use of the word ‘but’ as well as where you hear it in your interactions with others.  What does it reveal you are depending upon? What opportunities does it present for choosing differently?

The Gift of Receiving

“My source is Universal. I do not depend upon anyone or anything to give me my abundance. My requirements are fulfilled when I look to the Universe to provide. I KEEP MY VISION CLEAR. Abundance flows from the Universal cornucopia. It contains ALL that I need and more. It falls to me like a spring rain. It covers me with its good and fills my life with plenty. I look to the Universe for my support.”  Gregge Tiffen [www.g-systems.com]

To our detriment, we have been taught that it is ‘more blessed to give than to receive’.  If you hold this belief, consider how it may be blocking the flow of Universal good into your life.  Consider as well that giving thanks requires that we first open to receiving.

Receiving and giving thanks are integral parts of creating.  While much is written about the benefits of feeling and expressing gratitude, we have yet to fully acknowledge and practice receiving as a key in the equation for creating personal success.  What might be possible when we fully open to receive?  Stepping into our individual power and uniqueness to create a world that works for all.

What habits do we have that block the flow of Universal wisdom, love, beauty, joy, happiness … everything?  Look first to simple actions of declining to receive.  I used to think that independence meant doing it all myself, “No, thank you, I don’t need … I’ll just do it myself.”   Many of us are masters at this one.

Yet, consider that, not only is it exhausting to do it all solo, but also in taking this approach we are damming up Universal flow.  When I reflect on my own erroneous thinking (I don’t deserve, receiving help will make me dependent, etc.) behind being the Lone Ranger (even he had Tonto and Silver!), I see the possibility that receiving from others on this level opens me to receive this Universal bounty more fully.

And, heck, isn’t the inspiration to give a part of Universal flow? In being willing to receive, I create the opportunity for another to give.

Just this week I had the opportunity to choose between ‘DIY’ (do it yourself) or receiving support to dig out from two feet of snow.  I chose both.  Knowing it would take a long while for my neighbor to arrive with the snow plow, I shoveled a path to the garage to retrieve snowshoes so I could take a walk with Luke in the beauty.  I could have shoveled all day and forged a path for the car, but I opened to receive and as night was falling, my neighbor arrived with his plow.

Unconscious habits of thought keep us from stepping up to this Universal cornucopia.  “I can’t.” “I don’t have.” “I wish …”.  As, I bring awareness to my own habits of thinking, I see opportunities to deepen that awareness and use it to shift my thinking, to create a new habit.  Wishing and putting attention on what I don’t have, simply magnifies that lack.  Focusing on what I do have and giving thanks magnifies that.

For my learning to open fully to receive the bounty of Universal source, I bow in gratitude.

Experiment for the Week:  Open to receive the gifts of life more fully. From the door someone opens for you to the gentle (or not so gentle) nudge of the Universe with an idea, receive and give thanks.

The Gift of Angst

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”  Jalal ad-Dīn Muhammad Rumi

Angst: a strong feeling of being worried or nervous; a feeling of anxiety about your life or situation.

I don’t necessarily experience angst as a ‘strong’ feeling. Its intensity seems to vary depending on the issue.  Regardless of its strength in a particular moment, I’m coming to appreciate angst’s gifts and to be grateful for its presence.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t wish to live in a perpetual state of angst.  It can drag me into the depths of despair and feel colder and darker than the mountain snow storm just outside my window.

On the other hand, I don’t deny angst entry when it visits.  Rather I’m learning to acknowledge and welcome the sense of unease and invite angst to share what gifts are hidden beneath its surface. I’m learning that angst can light my way toward peace. It shows me where I care. It shows me where I need to adjust.

As I observe angst more deeply, I notice that it has no home when I’m in that place of deep knowing and trust.  Angst doesn’t follow thoughts or choices that are aligned with who I am and what I love. The presence of angst is a wake-up call, an indicator that love, faith, trust are missing and that my thinking, my clarity, my convictions and the actions that follow need to shift.

I’ve experienced angst recently around money, or more specifically a gap between what’s coming in and what’s going out. Yes, I know, it’s a crowded room. And, I believe that it will serve humanity when we each walk outside, take a few deep breaths to get back into our skin, into our true nature, and look at our needs from a new perspective. That’s a gift of angst. Its gentle nudges like these shadows on the Great Sand Dunes remind me when I go astray, or try to follow the crowd, or act as if I’m someone other than who I am.

When I am fully present, angst represents a crossroad, a choice. Will I take its invitation to go to that quiet place within? Will I muster the courage to “be drawn by the strange pull …”? Will I examine where my thoughts are inconsistent with what I believe to be true about the goodness of the Universe?   Or, will I follow the path that the world suggests is ‘practical’ and ‘what I should do in the current situation?

Experiment for the Week:  Notice where you experience the gentle nudges of angst this week. Thank them for reminding you of the choice they represent to return to who you are.

One Size Does Not Fit All

“One size does not fit all.”  Frank Zappa

That’s an interesting quote from an artist whose band released an album ‘One Size Fits All’. Even more interesting, it’s the only quote that I found on this perspective. Lots of quotes supporting the idea that ‘one size fits all’ though.

I’m not totally clear what brought OSFA (one size fits all) to my mind and heart this week as my reflections and practices on individuality continue.  I’m sensitive to things that claim to be “The” solution (answer, path, etc.) whether to prevent or cure cancer, bring forth the love of my life, boost my energy or be the path to everlasting abundance and happiness.  I’m on a personal quest to more deeply understand and live fully into my uniqueness.  After all, that’s what I believe life is about: each of us discovering our part in the mystery and living that part fully. (What a beautiful world we’re creating as we do so!). Yet, sometimes I feel caught between the two, the world that claims to have the right answers and my commitment to ‘be me’. (Smile as I remember my college dorm mother suggesting that Frank Sinatra’s ‘I Gotta Be Me’ should be my theme song. It was definitely hers.)

In that tension are some juicy questions and experiences.  As I try to distill them into a single theme, two words – courage and faith – emerge.  Both are key ingredients, requirements really, for living in alignment with who we are.  It takes courage in the face of experiencing a slowdown in business to say ‘no’ to an opportunity that would bring cash in the door, yet simply does not feel right.  I want my courage to be grounded in faith that instinct and intuition (demonstrations of connection to Source) are more powerful and accurate than information presented by others as ‘fact’.  (Sometimes though, it may be simply grounded me being a contrarian.)

Definitely there are paths, cures, even clothing that fit for many, even millions. But nothing is a fit for all. We are each unique individuals with unique cellular makeup. We each need to navigate and make decisions through different experiences so that we can successfully fulfill our sojourn in this life and move peacefully to whatever is next on our soul’s journey.

As we make the thousands of choices daily about what to wear, to eat, to think, to do and more, let us practice doing so from that place inside that deeply knows what ‘size’ fits us. Let’s discover the world we can create from that place.

Exercise for the Week:  Reflect on this: where in life are you navigating with the courage and faith it takes to be true to you? Honor yourself for taking each leap of faith whether it seems great or small.

The Paradox of Consistency

“Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.”  Bernard Berenson

“It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It's what we do consistently.”  Anthony Robbins

Today’s focus came in the morning quiet as I reflected on and celebrated my consistency in writing a post on Thursday mornings for 12 weeks.  In a BFO (blinding flash of the obvious), ‘consistency’ offered itself.

As the topic began to form, I thought I’d be writing solely about the virtue of consistency.  Hey, consistency is always a good thing and I was celebrating mine, right?

Not only have I honored my commitment to these weekly posts, consistency has been a focus of my personal observation and reflection recently.  I’ve challenged myself to identify where I’m consistent (and not) and the commitment (or lack thereof) demonstrated by my consistency.  Then, I’m assessing how my consistency aligns (or not) with my values, my goals and the life and world I want to create. For example, I’m consistent walking Luke several times daily and in making our first walk of the day a longer, meditative walk.  This consistent action honors my commitment to care for an amazing canine, who brings so much joy and learning to my life. And it demonstrates commitment to my self-care.

I find I’m also consistent in my curiosity, questioning and challenging myself and often others.  One of my gifts is a ‘critical eye (or I)’.  I’m not consistent in using this gift peacefully with gentleness and grace. That’s a consistency to develop to create more peace in my life and in the world.

It’s that critical eye part of me that kicked in when, a bit to my surprise, the first quotes I found for ‘consistency’ challenged its value.  Say, what? I could just ignore those and choose a quote that supported the approach I started to write. But that’s not what The Zone is about. I see value in exploring this paradox as it relates to how I define success.

Yes, consistency has value. Just ask Luke or me what life would be like without our walks. But like all light consistency casts a shadow. Without awareness, my consistency could lead me to take this walk as an unconscious habit and not notice the beauty that surrounds and nurtures me.  I could even come to resent it (especially later in winter when morning temperatures will be sub-zero and there’s snow on the ground).

On a deeper level, I began to see that consistency can be a seed not only of habits that don’t serve me, but of fundamentalism, of seeing things through the lens of right/wrong  judgment,  of closing me down rather than opening me up.  That’s a seed I don’t intend to nurture, but one that draws me to further explore and understand.  What about you?

Experiment for the Week:  Reflect on this topic. Observe your consistencies. Are they contributing to the life and world you want to create?  Share what you think!

The Power of Affirming From Within

“We are what we think. All that we are arises from our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.”  Budda

This week I caught myself in a habit that most of us probably experience, looking outside of me for direction rather than first discovering what experience I wanted to create.  In a glimpse of awareness while journaling, I realized that I hadn’t thought about a course of action. I simply was about to go into action automatically.

No denying sometimes that’s an approach that works, but this experience, I quickly (and gratefully) realized was different.  Rather than tapping into my own wisdom and intuition, then affirming what I discovered, I almost took the road of first seeking external confirmation, calling on someone else to tell me what was going on in terms of the experience I was having.

That awareness led me to see the act of calling on another to ask what they think BEFORE I’ve checked in with myself as a place where I abdicate my personal power, the power of using thought to affirm my choices in life.  It’s a habit which, rather than supporting my independent thinking and building my knowledge and wisdom base, creates dependency.

From this awareness, I can stop, take a breath, connect with my instinctive knowing that the experience is anchored in Spirit which knows only good; that whatever I’m experiencing is for my highest good (and if I discover that it isn’t I alone have the power to change).  What followed those deep breaths and the connection with my inner-wisdom was a sense of peace and understanding about the experience, a possibility that I hadn’t considered that I could now affirm from within.

That’s a foundation from which I can now seek input, advice, and perhaps external confirmation.  Rather than depending on another to ‘tell me’ and forming my thoughts from the other’s perspective, I first formed my thoughts from within. Now, I can (hopefully wisely) seek out resources to support my growth through this experience and, thereby make my world one that’s aligned with my values .

As I reflect on this experience and my next steps, I know how deeply the beauty of nature and the quiet of where I live support me.  On this cold, gray day with golden leaves on the ground and snow in the forecast, my heart is warm and I wish the same for you in the week ahead.

Experiment for the Week:   Use the events of this week to practice first going within.  Tap into your wisdom first.  Choose how you want to experience the event.  Then, as you are guided, seek the resources you need to support you to create this experience.

The Art of Self Greatness

"Gentleness is a sense of goodheartedness toward ourselves."  Pema Chodron

If, as I believe it is, the path to world peace asks first that we each make peace within, surely self-gentleness is a key marker on our personal path. It certainly is for me.  Born with a critical eye, I can almost always see that things need to be different.  Sometimes that manifests as criticism of others.

But often on my personal learning journey it showed up as harsh self-criticism, making myself wrong, beating myself up.  I thought that was a good thing. ‘Hey God, look I notice my shortcomings and ‘own’ them.’  Surely I’d get some credit for admitting that I am less than perfect.  I’m sure God noticed, but whatever ‘credit’ I was given, I’d like to trade in for gentleness chits.

Today my acts of self-aggression are more subtle. They tend to sneak in when I least expect it. For example, I notice while working on a project which gives me pleasure, that I question whether my time would be better spent focusing on marketing or doing something to generate income.  Then, I may let this little voice of monkey mind take over and move me to worry that, if I don’t focus on marketing, I won’t be able to pay the bills and I’ll be embarrassed that  I made the ‘wrong’ choice.  Not so gentle or goodhearted am I?

So, how do I transform guilt ridden ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda’ thoughts?  How do I nurture the art of self-gentleness?  There are three keys:

Be aware and willing to acknowledge my acts of self-aggression without judgment.

Forgive myself and those outside influences that may be ingredients in my worry.

Ask what my heart chooses. Honor the choice.

Practice.

This week my heart has been playfully suggesting that I pause on daily walks to ‘listen’ to the rocks. They’ve inspiring me to stack them. I’m finding it a wonderful way to practice gentleness in nature, and just discovered more about the art of rock balancing.

As we practice gentleness and goodheartedness toward self, what might be possible if we extend that to all others?  A more peace-filled world?  Worry, fear, control, giving way to love, happiness, and the individual self-expression that we are each meant to express?

Experiment for the Week: Notice where you are less than gentle with yourself. Breath in a breath of gratitude for the awareness. Speak the words ‘I forgive me for this act of aggression.’ Take two deep breaths allowing the sense of forgiveness to penetrate your being. Ask ‘what does my heart choose now?’ Honor that choice. Practice, or as a wise sage once said wash, rinse, repeat.

Being Nobody But You

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." - e.e. cummings

These words speak to my heart this day, at this time in my life. Thankfully, I have an independent streak and a tendency to speak and act upon what is true for me in the moment.  Sometimes though I find myself ‘going with the crowd’ (or thinking that I should), perhaps to get along, to be accepted, to do the ‘right thing’, to be secure, etc.   For example, I was about to step over the language of ‘battle’ and ‘fight’ in cumming’s quote.  But, since I’ve noticed that I’ll just say that I long for the day where we learn to express deep sentiment without words grounded in fear and fight (and, that’s a post for another day).

What resonates for me is being at a point in life where I feel like I’m swimming upstream in some domains of life.  I imagine the salmon being its authentic self and swimming upstream in a flow of water that could carry it effortlessly in the opposite direction.  Or this lone tiny sunflower popping through the rocky soil for one last link with the sun before the snow falls.

I’m coming to see some shadow in the well-intended positive thinking and spirituality of today. The world it seems has guided us to simply step into the flow of the external world and let it carry us in whatever direction it does, without running those choices through the filter of our soul.  Without question this approach can have value and take us on adventures we’ve not even dreamed.

But it seems that the world (parents, schools, career counselors, friends, partners, bosses, financial advisors and other well intentioned influences in our lives) teaches us to choose what’s best on the mundane level. All too often the yearning of the soul to expand knowledge into wisdom is left behind.  I hear it in the voices of clients who feel they have no choice but to be there for the ‘security’ of a paycheck. It lurks in lifestyle choices that have us swimming in more stuff than we need, yet wanting more (and not feeling any better when we get that next thing).  I personally experience it in the tension between the system’s definition of what I need to have in a portfolio in order to ‘be secure in my later years’, the lifestyle I choose today, and what I believe about my capacity to contribute and be financially rewarded well into the future (not to mention my dream that we will create new economic systems which are fairer, more just, and honor all contributions to the whole in ways that sustain us all).

That said, I’m grateful for the tension, the seeming disconnect and discomfort that sometimes creeps in. It reminds me that I am awake, awakening, and that the opportunity to create something new from ‘being nobody but me’ is ever present.  Is it any wonder that I live on a road called Cordial Way near its intersection with Rarity Way?

Experiment for the Week: Notice where you experience tension between the logic of the world’s messages and your heart.  If your heart were in charge, what might you choose differently?

Shining Light in Dark Places

Darkness has no power over light; rather light overcomes the darkness.  Ernest Holmes

This is not the post I thought I’d be writing this morning. Rather, it is the one that showed up upon waking and putting pen to paper (yes, that’s how a post starts for me).  I had another focus in mind yesterday, and I fought with myself, asking ‘what does this have to do with success, redefining success, ancient wisdom, The Zone?’

Then, I looked at this piece of art (Circles of Life by lisa knaggs**) as I do every morning. A particular square popped out (lower left with three circles). It’s perhaps not what you expect given what’s come before, but it fits. That’s my aim for this message as well.

Perhaps it’s the government shutdown and political upheaval here in the U.S. coupled with my own personal journey of shining light in the dark spaces of my being, I simply feel abandoned by the systems of our world. Of course, systems of themselves cannot ‘do’ anything. They are operated by we mere mortals, each with our own purpose, agenda, and lessons in this life.

I observe that we have evolved most systems with little regard for what I call their dark side, the shadow, the risks, the seemingly negative impacts and consequences.  And, we have been ‘sold’ on this basis. Take cigarettes for example. The story told was one of not just their safety, but the glamour (for women) or power (for men) that smoking evoked.  Decades and many legal battles later, we finally learn that wasn’t the complete, truthful story.

Today the battle over GMOs in food, the less publicized health risks of electromagnetic pollution*, and our economy and financial systems themselves provide rich ground for shining light into the darkness. From this light, we have the opportunity to choose differently and to create new stories from our new choices.

Just like in our personal lives, cleaning out the basement (for real or metaphorically) requires that we use our energy and our time dedicated to that process.  In order to consider new perspectives we need to shine light on the dark places. We need to expand our knowledge base and look beyond what we are fed daily by the media sources of the system.  As on our spiritual journey where we dig deeper inside, informing ourselves fully asks that we dig wider and deeper outside, to actually search for information to inform ourselves anew.  It seems to me this commitment is a key element on the path to making different choices and creating the new stories so needed today.  Ultimately it is those choices that build in us the wisdom of consciousness that lives infinitely.

Experiment for the Week:  Shine some light on the dark corners of your sources of information. Challenge what you hear/read. Search for new, different, deeper information on an issue of interest.  For example, watch the BBC documentary Century of the Self  (you can find it online with a simple Google search). Discover what it evokes/provokes in you. Share what you discover here (Yes! The comment section of our blog is now open.)

*Full disclosure/shameless promotion: My research (and the concerns I’ve awakened) around the effects of electromagnetic pollution evolved into a business interest offering products that provide protection from these effects. I’ve personally used them for over a year, with noticeable positive impacts on my health and energy. You can check them out here: http://www.giawellness.com/cindycoach/products/terra-gia/. Or, email cindy@successzone.com and I’ll provide links to the information that woke me up on this issue.

** lisa knaggs is a Certified Canine Massage Therapist, Trainer, Behavior Consultant at Relax your Dog™, Chief Visionary Officer at Bark for Peace! in Denver, Colorado.  She was foster mom to Luke, is a fabulous artist, and can be contacted through the Bark for Peace! Facebook page.

What We Need Today Are New Stories

"If you do not change direction, you may end where you are heading." - Lao Tzu

My thoughts this morning are jumbled around this idea of a new story.  The change brought forth by my recent move has evoked inspiration from being back in touch more intimately with sacred land.  Walking this sacred land daily reignited a personal quest to create new stories in my work.  Today, as I share these thoughts, I share too photos of that land that I'm privileged to walk daily.

I’ve come back to the dream that brought me to Crestone five years ago: bringing change leaders to this sacred place to rest, restore, and reinvigorate.  From that renewal, they are fueled to return to the world to birth new stories of possibility for themselves and, perhaps, for others.

My jumble comes from a deep sense that not only do I personally need a new story, but we need to accelerate the pace of creating new stories collectively. We need stories that help us let go of that which no longer works, that which divides and seeks to control.  We need stories that remind us that “right finally dissolves everything opposed to it” as Ernest Holmes wrote.  We need stories about “the world our hearts tell us is possible” [Charles Eisenstein – www.charleseisenstein.net], personally and globally.

Of course, all global stories start personally. Some become widely known – Gandhi, Mandela, King, Bin Laden, Hitler.  But fame or not, ‘good’ or ‘bad’ each of our stories contributes to a collective consciousness that creates the world we experience, personally and globally.

What if we each understood and took responsibility for our role in, for example, the government shutdown, the leaks at Fukushima, the saber rattling conversations and threats of war, acts of war themselves, and the consequences of natural disasters?  What if I truly understood and accepted my role?

So, this week, I’m focused on allowing my new story to emerge. Although I have some sense of urgency, I feel guided to allow rather than force the creation.  I sense that experimenting in a dance between allowing and taking focused, intentional action is part of my personal learning as well as our learning collectively. It’s that dance and looking at how my choices are connected to the whole that I take into the week ahead.  What about you?

Experiment for the Week:  Playfully consider the stories you are living in this week.  What influences inform and inspire those stories?  Capture your inspirations and explore where they take you.