A foggy spring day in the Sangres

Weariness can occur as a result of thinking we know but not knowing that causes all sorts of indecision. Patrece on behalf of P Systems (PS 52 Series 11 If So, What Now? Week 31) www.p-systemsinc.com

Earlier this week, the words above landed on me like a bright ray of sunshine breaking through fog. This week’s PS 52 landed in my inbox right on time, adding clarity to my morning journaling and connecting the dots of energy and indecision.

My early morning observation started with awareness that when I speak of ‘my energy’ (as in ‘my energy has been really low’) I separate myself from the pure, raw energy that we all create with/from. Yep, I know, that’s not possible to actually do, but I had one heck of a mental construct supporting my illusion.

I was the victim of my ‘low energy’. I’d been experiencing a sense of feeling scattered, unfocused, and unable (or perhaps unwilling) to exert my will. I felt tired. I remembered hearing Gregge Tiffen share his practice of speaking the words ‘let the energy flow through me’ to energize action. THAT felt like an invitation to life and living fully. I felt an internal energetic shift (it’s truly challenging not to write ‘my energy shifted’ here, but I’m clear that I hold no ownership of energy) head to heart to toes.

I felt gratitude for the awareness of what seemed to be deepening into my bones. I was ready to bring on the list of projects and to-do’s so I could focus and take action. I had new clarity about energy and a reminder that it’s my job to direct it. Onward!

But before I dove in, this week’s PS 52 landed in my box, offering even greater clarity. What I’d labeled as ‘my low energy’, weariness if you will, was (at least in part) the effect of not making clear, intentional decisions to take action.  Indecision was leading me to meander wearily through many days, scattering my attention, and, if I was ‘lucky’, accomplishing a few tasks in the process.

I (re)discovered that when I do make clear, intentional decisions, the action (mostly) comes easily. The energy flows through me from one action to the next.  One decision paves the way for another. A course of action becomes clearer. My sense of ‘low energy’ dissipates. My will is strengthened.

I’m feeling deeply grateful and blessed for being shown this connection. And, I’m under no illusion that my new awareness is a ‘magic pill’ or ‘silver bullet’. I’m betting I’ll have days where I simply want to pull the covers over my head to rest. I’m sure to experience days where the path doesn’t seem so clear and choices seem hard. I aim to allow such foggy days to be and to bring to them my curiosity about what they have to offer, for surely they too have purpose. The energy flowing through me is here for me. And, it’s here for you. Let it flow! Let us flow!

And, as she always does, the sun breaks through!

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