Swimming in the Sea of Thought

It's hard to imagine that sometimes I walk with little awareness of the beauty I am so blessed to live in.

In an all intelligent universe, a thinking universe, there’s a total thought process as a permeating thought force thinking all the time. Perhaps we don’t think at all but, as one cell of the universe, we individualize the thought process. We isolate a moment in infinity. This provides us with two avenues: one avenue is total omnipotence and the other avenue is individualization that is part of total omnipotence that each of us takes and identifies individually.  Gregge Tiffen (Open Secrets: One Original Thought  - September, 2011)

As I begin writing this morning, I’m desiring to complete my post efficiently so that I can indulge in watching Pope Francis address Congress and then discover just how silly our elected officials and those who are running for office can be in their post event pandering.

I wasn’t thinking that the Pope and his visit would be a part of my post. Yet, as I reflected on the above quote, I realized that in watching a bit of the pageantry yesterday I’d observed someone who danced seamlessly between, perhaps who has the capacity to merge, those two avenues: omnipotence and individualization. In my observation,   the Pope would seem to be that omnipotence (or, perhaps, to have it flowing through him) as he looked, wide angle, seeing and blessing all.  The next moment he had a laser focus on a single individual and his interaction with that person.

Of course I can’t know what Pope Francis was experiencing, but I sensed that he was totally present in each and every moment. And, I saw the joy that seems to bring him. Joy that I too know when I am totally present, especially present in the beauty of nature.

That observation brings me back to my experience this week, where I’ve been observing my thoughts and noticing patterns that don’t serve me.  I tend to dwell on events (especially those that weren’t as I desired them to be), carrying them and overworking them in my head. I think about what I might have said or done differently and replay that scenario, not once or twice, but over and over.  I’m reminded that I have a choice and that I, and I alone, can stop the cycle and direct my thoughts differently.

I’ve also noticed some ‘monkey mind’. You know, flitting from thought to thought with no focus, intention or clarity. They flow just like scenes from multiple movies strung together with no story line.  They’re exhausting.  And, totally within my (response)ability to manage.

In awe of the beauty and vastness of the San Luis Valley - my view when I'm not looking at the mountains. More gratitude!

I’ve been practicing just that on my morning walks, putting attention on a single sense with the intention of creating awareness of just that.  On a crisp morning, I may start with the feel of the cool air on my face and try to keep my attention there.  I say ‘try to’, because I notice just how easily mind wanders. Sometimes I have the presence to gently nudge it back quickly. Other times this awareness comes more slowly.  Practice is the key to deepening my awareness and sharpening my ability to make mindful choices as I individualize each moment in the infinity that is life.

A post speech note: I find much to reflect on in this Pope’s message, perhaps fodder for a future post. Color me grateful. And, Luke would like to let you know "I'm back!"  We've navigated and eliminated the itch and he's back on duty as the official greeter here at Dragonfly House.

Happy for the healing!

A Thought Never Dies

Hints of Fall Begin to Dot the Slopes

Every thought we have and every word we speak goes out into this infinite Universe and stays there. Every thought we have has an effect on us and our planet as well.  Gregge Tiffen [Life in the World Hereafter: The Journey Continues & The Journey Continues: In Search of Wisdom – September 2010]

The above quotes got my attention this morning as they were what my eyes landed on in each of the two books I picked up as I began to muse about today’s post.  I wondered just what the heck they had to do with an event this week that I’ve been reflecting on and guessed that I’d be writing about.

Last week I wrote about the need for forgiveness to forge peace.  Other than questioning the level of my own courage to forgive, my reflections were more global.  Said another way, they were more about the world and others than developing my own capacity to forgive.

As is the way of learning, the issue was brought home to me this week in one of those ‘small events of life’ that generated deep reflection and questioning: a conundrum, as yet with no clear ‘answer’.  An unresolved conflict between what I claim my values to be and choices I make that aren’t aligned with them. I’m grateful for the curiosity which inspires me to explore and want to sort it out.

This idea that a thought never dies that it goes forth into the Universe forever has my attention in this internal conflict.  You see, for all my thoughts of peace breaking out all over the world, I experience being annoyed by and being concerned about the impact on me and my environment by some of nature’s creatures. I call them ‘pests’: mosquitos and mice to name two specifically.

I aim not to give them much energy or attention. But sometimes they demand it.  During mosquito season, my inner killer came forth daily as dozens would follow me or guests in the door. Without much thought I swatted them. Dead.  Months before, after experiencing an infestation of mice that I was unable to control by natural means, I made the difficult decision to use poison.  Unlike mosquito swatting, I made a conscious choice.

I had the awareness that this choice wasn’t aligned with my claim to value non-violence and peace. While it’s been successful in reducing the mouse population, I’ve never been totally at peace.  It isn’t what I want to contribute or how I want to express myself in the world. Every choice is after all an expression of me.  Yet, I rationalize my decision with the success of not hearing mice scurrying in the walls.  

Enter this weekend, a larger creature.  In the dark of the night, it took bites out of every piece of fruit in my two fruit bowls and knocked several items off of the kitchen counter.  Other ‘evidence’ clearly indicated that it wasn’t a mouse. While I was definitely upset, my thoughts didn’t go to ‘kill it’.  And, as I reached out for advice on dealing with the situation, the clearest was to “set a live trap”.   That action was a success, and a rascally young pack rat has been relocated to a remote area several miles away and, hopefully, its point of entry sealed: a small victory for non-violence and for own thought process.

Compassion for the Perpetrator

Although I’m keenly aware that my thinking and my choice contribute to negativity on the planet and to our human propensity toward violence against one another, I’m not at the place of reversing my mouse control decision.  The angst and curiosity of the conundrum will continue at least for a while.

A Beautiful Path for Strolling Contemplation

The Courage of Forgiveness

A Stunning Sky to Start the Day

Non-violence is the natural outgrowth of the law of forgiveness and love. Paramhansa Yogananda

Forgiveness is the might of the mighty.  Mohandas Gandhi

I come to this day’s post with hope that my country is shifting its foreign policy focus away from the tolls of war and toward peace.  My thoughts come in the wake of the energy of children visiting here at Dragonfly House this week and the energy of innocence that they live in, in awareness of the anniversary tomorrow of ‘9/11’, and in gratitude for the brave world leaders who endeavor to bring peace via an arms treaty with Iran.  They come as well with gratitude for those who work for peace in many ways – moment to moment, day to day.

I wonder what depth of courage would be required in order for forgiveness to become our might, our power, our strength.  Rather, what would it take to recognize that in forgiveness, not in weapons, is where true strength lies?

My truth in this moment is that I don’t know. It’s easy to talk of peace and forgiveness from afar, from my ‘ivory tower’ nestled in the peaceful woods of the Rocky Mountains.  It’s easy to be for peace from this place.

But what if I had been more directly impacted by the events of September 11, 2001?  What if I were facing a violent threat in this moment?  Would have the courage to stand in forgiveness of the ones committing this act?

My experience of forgiveness in life is of less violent events than these. And, forgiveness didn’t come in the moment. I needed time to get to the place where I could forgive. I needed to experience anger, indignation, and a sense that I needed to fight back.  I needed to understand that ‘fighting back’ had no return and that there was no getting even. 

Even though I’ve had that experience, I doubt that I have the capacity bring forgiveness forward instantly.  But that doesn’t stop me from wondering, from dreaming ‘what if I did?’  Indeed, it propels me to wonder what if we all had the ‘courage of forgiveness’?  What if world leaders engaged in conversation, negotiation, leadership from this ‘might’ not the might of the sword?  What if …?

Mountain Majesty

Back to School/Back to Joy

Early Morning Orbs at the Ziggurat

If we are to live in joy and in accomplishment, we must release our cells from self-imposed restrictions so they can sense, interpret and move us with the changing times. We need to be ready to respond and to use our experiences to our advantage.  Gregge Tiffen (What You Should Get From Education - 2007

It’s ‘back to school’ week here in the Sangres. This morning’s quote provided me with the ‘back to school’ jolt I needed to recognize that I’d fallen into a pattern of rote response to daily events. No joy. No awareness of using those events to my advantage.

Fortunately ‘back to school’ didn’t require pre-school shopping and scurrying around (plenty of the later just tending to life). I simply needed to STOP, breathe, recognize and reset.  I stopped early yesterday, putting my head on the pillow before darkness fell.  I wasn’t aware just what that stopping would bring, and after a few deep breaths of gratitude, I was fast asleep.

It was only when I hit the books this morning for the spark of inspiration to kick off this week’s post that I took the time to recognize (and acknowledge) that I was slogging through events each day.  I was ‘getting things done’ and in the doing I was more focused on what needed to be done next than on the activity at hand.

I wasn’t miserable, but I definitely felt stressed. And, where there is stress, there is no joy and little, if any true accomplishment. Yes, tasks get done, but without the awareness needed for the experience to bring forth any wisdom. Unknowingly, I’d stepped back into some old ways, rotely responding to Luke’s needs, my garden’s call to ‘come harvest’, preparing meals, running my B&B, attending a county commissioner’s meeting, and a host of other ‘to dos’.  The quote above woke me up to that awareness with the recognition that I was moving through life with a sense of dread.

So this day (and probably several that follow) is dedicated to resetting and getting me back in tune.  I started on our morning walk, putting my attention on feeling the cool air, smelling the freshness, and hearing the quiet of early morning in this beautiful place.  I set aside the ‘to do’ list and stayed present, allowing the beauty of the day to envelope me. I returned home, interacted with a departing guest, cared for Luke and then took myself out on the deck with a nourishing bowl of fruit and cup of tea. 

I took some time to reflect on this process of ‘resetting’ and outlined what I wanted to commit to in this reset:

·        Take time as each task is complete to recognize the accomplishment.

·        Step into each task with joy and gratitude.

·        Keep my attention on the task at hand, not ‘what’s next’.

·        Take care of me – rest and nourishment when I need them (not when I have time for them).

I’m clear that the return to my old ways of moving through each day put me out of sync with the current patterns of the Universe and of me. Perhaps that’s true on such a broad scale that the world is in ever increasing chaos.  What if we each checked our settings regularly to ensure that we are in tune? What kind of world would we create if we simply took time to stop, breathe, recognize, and reset?

The Tree of Joy and Wisdom!

Leave of Absence

“Animals are here as companions and stabilizers. Having a direct connection to the earth, they serve the important function of being able to ground and stabilize our energies by taking our excess energy and feeding it back to the earth. They – along with plants – absorb a lot of negative energy. As we nurture and care for them, they leave us calmer in the midst of our sometimes chaotic incarnate experience. ”

— Gregge Tiffen (Life in the World Hereafter: The Journey Continues)

A mid-summer trip to the Great Sand Dunes nearby. 

No I’m taking ‘leave’ from this weekly post. It is, after all, one of my sweetest ‘to dos’, and I treasure the process and the energy each and every week.  Luke, however, is on leave from one his very favorite things:  official greeter here at Dragonfly House.  It seems that something zapped his immune system, and he is in allergy hell and the likelihood that he’s also contracted tiny mites.

In the midst of keeping a number of important balls in the air, ‘Lukie care’ has been a primary activity over the last several weeks. In addition to our vet recommended medication, I’ve chosen to direct a fair amount of energy to his care. A naturopath friend guided me in creating a protocol to ease his discomfort and move the healing along more quickly. The energy of giving that care, plus being watchful to intervene when he scratches, licks or bites has deepened my appreciation for all caregivers and the for the caregiver in each of us.

His condition and the care that I’m giving have given me pause for reflection and taken me back to Gregge Tiffen’s writing about our relationship to nature. 

In my reflection, I’m deeply aware of how calming my time caring for Luke has become.  I say ‘has become’, because in the first week, I was feeling frantic and overwhelmed (not the energy I would choose to bring to healing). Luke though, ever the teacher, is his ever calm, ever steady self.  He lies peacefully as I apply homemade essential oil ointment. He doesn’t fight being in the ‘cone zone’.  He’s a true model of trusting and receiving.

Cool Hand Luke Skywalker continues to teach me new lessons in patience and love.  While he may be healing and on leave from his job as ‘Chief Welcoming Officer’, Luke and all the animals are always on duty as an element of nature in service to humankind.  Our world is more perfect than we know and, perhaps, than we have the capacity to accept.  And, I am grateful for their service.

Life in the 'Cone Zone'.

In League With The Angels

“In effect, negative levels of earth consciousness will contribute to defeating the positive levels of non-physical consciousness. In other words, when we have someone who is nasty or when we get depressed, we are in league with the devil. Gregge Tiffen (Do The Angels Take A Vacation? – August, 2007)”

The simple beauty of early morning's haze.

My coach recently shared the fun she had after a momentary panic when she discovered that her computer had been hacked. She was writing away in the wee hours of the morning when suddenly a message popped up to ‘call this number immediately for assistance’.  She called and after paying a fee for the assistance, realized that she’d been had. Rather than trekking the path most of us would likely choose (anger, fear, etc.), she played along, not letting on that she was onto their scam.  While she was getting her computer repaired by a legitimate techie, she took advantage of the 24/7 help that she’d paid for, and called the scammers with questions at all hours of the night.

When she shared this story, I could hear the lightness in voice and feel it in her spirit. Complete absence of feeling like a victim. Her response was much like I imagine the Dali Lama responds when things don’t go exactly as planned on this path.  It was good for a laugh and a reminder to, if you will, take the high road.  (I don’t know about you, but I need that reminder quite frequently.)

I confess: I’m not there consistently regarding current events in my life.  In the last few weeks as I’ve been immersed in concern for and care of Luke (summer allergies and a weakened system seem to have left him vulnerable to mites or some other canine biting critters); along with leading my community in opposition to a marijuana growing operation in our neighborhood and hosting guests in the B&B’s busiest month of the year, I’ve needed to be vigilant to maintain my positivity.

I don’t do so just for my own sake (although life does flow much more easily when I’m in that place), but also as a contribution to the well-being of our planet. I’ve come to understand that we are always contributing to the atmosphere.  I want contribute positively, especially at this time when positivity seems quite needed.

Stories remind me not to take myself and the events in my life too gravely.  Quiet time for reflection opens me to listen for the guidance ever present no matter what opportunities life presents. Being in nature demonstrates to me that being alive is a process and that change is constant. 

These in turn lead me back to my core conviction that my life (indeed all life) is unfolding perfectly for my (our) learning.  I’m reminded as well that, like my coach, I alone am at the helm, choosing how and where to use my energy each moment, each day.

When I choose with anger and fear, I choose to be the victim, in league with the devil’s negativity. When I choose with compassion, love, and grace I see challenges as opportunities to experiment, to create, to learn and grow. I may even get to express me in some new way.

The world would have us believe that only those who do ‘big’ things make a difference. Not so.  Moment to moment, step by step, choice to choice each of us is contributing to the atmosphere on our dear planet earth.  She needs us to make uplifting, positive choices. How will I contribute today? What about you?

The Gift of Resistance

Most of us have two lives: the life we live and the life within us.  Between the two stands Resistance.  Steven Pressfield

In Resistance is the gift. Cindy Reinhardt

A beautiful hike on Spanish Creek in the quiet of morning's beauty.

At one time or another most of us have been told (by self or another) to overcome our resistance and ‘just do it’.  Whatever ‘it’ may be, if we’re resisting then certainly it’s something that we ‘should’ (ugh!) do.  Of course, there are times when this is a choice that serves us, moving us ahead toward a goal or keeping us on a favorable path.  But, for any resistance on the surface, there is something deeper to be discovered.

This week I (re)discovered that the more deeply I examine my resistance (in this case with support from my coach), the richer my awareness is.  All too often though, we don’t take that deeper look.  Heck, I wasn’t even aware that I was resisting.  

My pattern, when I do notice my resistance is for my ‘should-o-meter’ to kick in. I automatically tell myself to ‘stop resisting’ and ‘just do it’. After all, that’s how you conquer life, right?

But what about those times when our resistance may have a different message, one accessible only with a bit of digging?  For me this week the message from resistance was 180 degrees from ‘just do it’.  Upon taking a close look, I saw that my resistance was asking me to reassess a business decision. My clue to look deeper came when I noticed that I felt trapped by that decision. It seemed that I had to do it: no choice, no renegotiation, ‘just do it’. Ugh!

What was it that had me feel trapped? Working with my coach (thank you Patrece!), I realized that I had made a decision to essentially trade my personal peace for a short term financial gain.  I would likely suffer (rather than laugh) all the way to the bank. It’s little wonder that I was resisting. The gain wasn’t worth it.

My willingness to look at my resistance to doing a few small actions presented me with the gift of this awareness.  Had I barreled through and ‘just done’ those things, I mostly likely would have created a week of stress. And that would have taken me significant energy to recover from.  In resistance is the gift.

As I began to see the situation from this perspective, a clear course of action revealed itself. I needed to renegotiate a promise with a customer. Surprisingly, I felt no resistance. That path felt much lighter. After some initial reluctance, the customer agreed. This week is unfolding nicely.

I’m not suggesting that there aren’t times when we need to overcome resistance and just get ourselves into action.  I’m sure that I’ll have those from time to time as I continue this sojourn.  Our learning opportunity is one of discernment, of stepping back and taking a look at our resistance to determine whether it is simply lazy, childish avoidance (yes, we do); an underlying fear that it’s time to address; or, as with me this week, it wants my attention for the sake of inviting me to take a deeper look at a choice that I’ve made.

The Knowledge of Experience

A stem bends to find the needed sun.

We naturally and progressively change when we absorb the potential knowledge inherent in an experience, which means we become more knowledgeable physically, mentally and spiritually.  Patrece on behalf of P-Systems (The XYZs of Karmic Experience – Series 7, Week 45)

The quote above caught my attention last week as one I wanted to reflect on. What does it mean to become more knowledgeable physically, I wondered? But as happens, life’s events stepped into the spotlight of my attention (or, you might say they took over my life this week), and that reflection only came back around this morning as I mused about this 103rd post (yes, next week is our 2nd anniversary!).

I like the idea that we naturally change as we absorb knowledge in the experiences we have in life. Perhaps trusting in this could release some of the pressure we put on ourselves to learn and grow. What if my growth is as simple as walking through life, from experience to experience, trusting that when I’m awake in those experiences, I am adding knowledge and as I add knowledge, I naturally change.  That sounds like a favorable zone from which to live.

Think about it for a moment. We humans are part of nature. Look at the natural world around you, a tree, a flower, a bird, your pet. They progress through their life cycle naturally.  On some level the flower uses the knowledge that it requires sunshine to grow. With this knowledge, a stem bends to place the bud in more sunlight.

Our pets learn through the experience of interacting with us what elicits a ‘good boy!’ and what brings forth ‘bad dog’.  They apply that learning day to day.

So many people in my life, both clients and friends, are facing huge challenges and changes – forced job changes, health issues, death of a loved one, recovery from surgery.  Sometimes we think that only those ‘big’ events hold the gold of learning. 

In no way do I want to minimize such events. Like each of us, I’ve been there/done that – death of parents, divorce, job changes, challenges in relationships and business.  Likewise, I don’t want to give them more attention or credit them for more of my learning than just living life, step-by-step, day-by-day. That is after all how we move through these events.

As I navigate life today, I see that it wasn’t just those big events that held the gift of learning for me.  Daily activity has taught my body the amount of rest and care that it needs. Hopefully, I use that knowledge to make choices to support it.  Operating my bed and breakfast gives me the opportunity to learn new expressions of my creativity in creating a comfortable space for myself and others.  It stretches me to have the energy of others who I don’t know sharing my home. I can feel the change that has come gradually over the last year. Likewise with my leadership role on the local water board. And, of course, being ‘mom’ to Cool Hand Luke is rich with learning (this week we’re focused on patience).

I'm trying not to lick mom, really I am, but it itches ...

The beauty that I see in looking at learning from this place is that it isn’t just the stuff we label ‘bad’ or ‘challenging’ from which we learn, grow and change.  We don’t need to sign up for yet another class. It is the very experience of life itself from which we change. The simple elegance of life reveals itself once again.

Patience rewarded ...

Guided By Our Stories

Early morning sky ...

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everyone has their story. We are all different. We are all the same. Gregge Tiffen (Personal Session)

Consciously or not our decisions are rarely, if ever, based on just the facts. Rather it is our stories that guide (or control) the choices that we make. For the most part, our history along with our thoughts, beliefs and feelings create our stories.

Take the simple choice between ‘store’ brand and ‘recognized’ brand for example. Some people hold a story that the ‘store’ brand is less expensive than and the same quality (maybe even made in the same place) as the ‘recognized’ brand. Others prefer the ‘recognized’ brand based on their story that it is superior in quality. Unless we’re challenged by someone or presented with new information, we rarely question our choices. And, we definitely don’t think about the stories on which our decisions are based.

But, perhaps doing so would support us to be more aware of and to question the stories we hold around the bigger choices in life.

I recently found myself angry (you were wondering what that quote had to do with stories, right?) about a situation in my community near the quiet home I love. A nearby neighbor is proposing to construct several large greenhouses for cultivating organic vegetables and marijuana (it’s legal here, you know). His story is that everything grown is for his family’s personal consumption. Based on the size of the facility and just a bit of research, that story just doesn’t add up.  And, it triggered my best ‘how dare he’ reaction. 

Peace, joy, happiness? Nowhere in my sight.

After a few days of being in this reaction each time I thought about it, I decided to look at my stories.  My reaction was so strong that it couldn’t just be based on the facts.  First, was my story that his story just didn’t add up.  Underneath that I found a story that ‘he must think I’m stupid’ (talk about taking it personally), along with stories about the negative impacts on the peace, quiet, tranquility of our neighborhood. It took me a while to realize that I was disrupting my peace with all the stories racing around in my head.

It was a sobering and empowering wake-up call to become aware that I’d allowed my stories to undermine my peace. I challenged myself to shift. Not my stories, but how I was holding them.  How could I respond from a place of care without taking it personally? How might my response be different, if I allowed compassion to enter the scene?

I felt lighter immediately. And, for the most part, I’m carrying this lightness into my written comments to the governing board as well as my conversations with others in the community.  Along the way I discovered that maintaining my personal peace doesn’t necessarily require changing everything in my story. Rather, it invites me to look at my story piece by piece and to be willing to evaluate each with a different intention and a willingness to reject those pieces that stand in the way of my peace.

And, that’s a story that I’m aiming to call forth more often.

... and stunning vistas help me maintain my sense of peace.

Agitation

Sometimes clouds obscure part of the mountain ...

Bright, aware minds do not let anything pass by without running it through a sieve to see what is going to come out of it. ‘I want to do something with this, or I don’t want to do something with this’ is the analytical process that begins immediately. The result of the process is called choice which is your will. If you refuse to go through the process of such analysis, you are not exercising your will. Gregge Tiffen (The Language of a Mystic: Awareness; July, 2009)

Like the hammer, a tool that can be used to repair or to build as well as to injure or to destroy, agitation has both a light side and a dark. 

As one who likes to stir things up, I tend to focus on the positive. After all, the agitation of a washing machine moves the water, detergent and clothes around to clean them.  And, what social change has ever been gained that didn’t start with political activists agitating others into action?

This week I’ve found myself feeling the dark side of agitation: irritated and restless.  Luke might just share that he’s found me a little testy and on edge on those rare occasions when he didn’t respond quickly when called.  Some might call it ‘cranky’.  You likely know what I mean. Perhaps you even find yourself visiting this mood from time to time.

One of my first thoughts was ‘I shouldn’t be feeling this way.’  Oops!  Let’s not make it worse by pronouncing blame and guilt.  I was beginning to exercise my will. I don’t like feeling this way. And, I surely don’t like my behavior, but rather than push it aside, I decided to take a peek at what might be at the root of this edition if my agitation. I want to do something with this!

It took only a little reflection to find quite a list of things that I’d treated as either ‘no big deal’ or issues that I have no control over.  I’d piled them up with no awareness, ignoring the process of making choices, of exercising my will.  I was moving through the day with little awareness, and I’d been doing so for longer than I’d like to admit.  I’d allowed worry to replace conscious choice. Agitation had replaced the simple joy of moving through life one sacred moment at a time.

My agitation woke me up to unconscious choices that I’d made not exercising my will. From there I’m able to choose differently and to step back into the joy that is life, moment by moment, choice by choice.  To paraphrase Gregge Tiffen: If will is the means by which consciousness exercises itself, be sure that you’re getting enough exercise! 

Then, the mountain (and life!) becomes crystal clear.