Finger-pointing and blame-finding are exercises in self degradation. We are not born accusers. Accusing and complaining are learned, negative habits. Gregge Tiffen (Tax Time: Are You Taxing Yourself?)*
How does one take responsibility without walking into the negative energy of blame and shame? It would seem easy, yet who among us has not engaged in ‘I should have known better …’ and its corollaries: ‘It’s my fault …’; ‘I’m so dumb (bad, stupid, etc.)’?
I don’t know about you, but such negativity was an auto-pilot reaction for much of my life. Then, I began to see the costs – low energy, dis-satisfaction, limited opportunity, a sense of lack and not being/doing ‘enough’. I was cut off from the consistent, reliable flow of universal creative energy.
Over time and with practice, I’ve shifted. I’ve come to know the Universe as a friendly place, not a trap waiting to nab me when I err. Amidst several opportunities to beat myself up this week, I noticed that for the most part I was choosing a different path.
I was noticing each blunder. From the banking error to the hot water heater going ‘kaput’, I was being kind to me. At the same time, I was being honest with myself. The costly bank error was mine (and not in my favor!). After a valiant though unsuccessful effort to get the bank to waive their fee, I looked at where I’d erred, adjusted my internal systems to (hopefully) avoid a recurrence AND I let it go. No blame. No shame.
As I was arranging for a new hot water heater (necessary because my hot water began to look rusty colored over the weekend), I realized that just a week or so before, the thought had crossed my mind that ‘perhaps a larger heater would better serve my needs’. Voila! Through my thoughts, it seems that I created the opportunity for that larger heater. A random thought manifested! I erred in not being aware of it, having a clear intention, time frame and manifesting the resources to do it with ease.
As I reflected on these and a few other learning opportunities this week, I realized that I’ve come to understand and live into the belief that, as Gregge says, “The Universe does not make ninnies. The Universe has created you in Its image as strong, dependable, creative, self-assured, intelligent, harmonious, and complete.” I AM that! And, YOU are that too!
We have only to choose to be what we truly are. With discipline and practice, those very qualities that reside in our cells spring forth to quash the ‘coulda, woulda, shoulda, I’m not enough’ reactions that our culture seems to nurture. Myself and my cells like our choice!