Underneath a Nurturing Ancestor Pine
You’re always in a position to decide if you want to have any reaction to what’s going on. Gregge Tiffen (Open Secrets: An Air of Optimism)
This is one of my favorites of Gregge’s quotes. Forgetting that we have choice is a giant generator of pain and stress especially in a world that takes every opportunity to suggest that we aren’t at choice about so much.
Years back when I was in the middle of divorce, I was ordered to allow my soon to be ex to read my journals, where I muse and bear my soul almost daily. I felt invaded and as if I had no choice. I was gently reminded by my coach at the time that indeed I did have a choice. For example, I could choose to defy the order.
She was right. I could defy the order. What? In that moment, I understood that I simply wasn’t willing to face the consequences of doing do. But I did have a choice. That awareness has served me well. It was a pivot point in coming to understand and accept that there are always choices, even in the darkest times when I can’t see them.
Choice has been on my mind this week as I continue the process of executing my cousin’s last wishes and navigating the legal hoops of settling her estate. Along the way someone suggested that I didn’t have a choice about coming up here since I was named as her Personal Representative.
I don’t agree with their suggestion. I chose to come. It was a responsibility I accepted years ago. I chose to honor it to come and do the job at hand.
Not only was I at choice about making the trip, how long to stay, and other logistical decisions, daily I get to choose how I want to be in the process. I’m aware that I could choose to take on the tasks with an attitude of burden and resentment. I do not do so. Why would I choose misery when given the opportunity to serve in this way?
While I experience waves of sadness that my ‘cuz’ and I won’t share another hike in nature or glass of wine or holiday fun, I bring curiosity, appreciation and gratitude into most every day’s ‘to do’ list. I find joy in early morning walks with Zadie Byrd as she explores the different environment and relishes green grass to roll in.
This morning she led me to a giant pine in the park nearby. As I stood beneath the towering branches and allowed nature to enfold and nurture me, she sniffed to discover just who else had been in the area.
The sense of community here is palpable with her friends checking in, bringing food, and offering to help all manner of tasks. In choosing acceptance of the events and the environment, I am blessed by abundance in many forms. I’m clear I could choose differently and create a very different experience. But, so far, the choices I’m making are working out just fine.
Taking a Break for a Hike Along the Snake River