Developing Our Hearts

Nature's Bounty - Flakes, Needles, and Cones

You carry your worth in your heart.  Gregge Tiffen (Echo September 10, 2012)

At times such as this with the joy of the holidays juxtaposed with violence near and far, I’m tempted to generalize with words that paint us to be the same. Something like: ‘our hearts are heavy.’  Yet, we are different. The heaviness in my heart is unique and personal to me. It flows from all the experiences in my life – the good, the bad, the ugly, the distant, and those events that are fresh.

How we each walk through life’s events doesn’t just determine the quality of our life. It contributes to the quality of life on our planet.

Yesterday I woke extraordinarily early. My thoughts were scattered and unfocussed. The theme seemed to be one of angst. I felt unsettled.  Something was off in how I’d walked through the events of the previous day. I wasn’t satisfied with the tone I’d projected, especially in relating to others; quite the opposite in fact.

This isn’t a new experience. I’m far from perfect and sometimes I react, speaking before I think. Generally, I’m able to move on, cleaning up any mess with a sincere apology or other appropriate action.

This felt different: deeper and more unsettling. The practices that usually bring me back to my center didn’t banish my angst. Only after a long hike and returning home to chop wood (using more mental focus than physical strength) did my mind calm down enough to reflect and gain some clarity.

Blessed to live in the shadow of this beauty.

Additional words from Gregge, along with remembering that all of my words live forever, provided a perspective for understanding my angst:

You are designed to interact with people to the highest degree of your person through your posture, your body movements, the expression in your eyes as well as with the words you choose.  In that way, you naturally carry people with you to a higher spiritual level.

I saw more clearly than ever before that there are no meaningless events or interactions. And, I wondered:

What kind of world will we create as more and more of us walk through the events and interactions of life truly being ‘the highest degree of our person’?

And, how can I expand my heart to be just that?

Maybe we can learn to play and be free with models like these as our teachers and guides.

My Prayer of Thanks

A Winter's Hike on the Hermitage Trail

We pray for the very important reason that real prayer is a prayer of self-sustenance. Real prayer is you dealing with Omnipotent Intelligence the way you see fit. This is you and ‘IT’. In turn prayer brings you back to your own basic belief factor as a member of an infinite human family.  Gregge Tiffen (THANKSGIVING: The Power of Prayer – How It Works, November, 2006)

Moon rise at sunset.

Sitting quietly by a warming fire in the predawn hours earlier this week, I began reflecting on all that I’m grateful for.  As I began to write in my journal, the words surprised me and took me to an unexpected place: gratitude for being me.

I am grateful for how I live my life, the choices I make, the insight and curiosity I experience, my love of quiet and of nature’s beauty. I’m grateful that I take reasonably good care of myself. I’m grateful that I take time to ease into the day and enjoy the morning quiet with Luke curled up near-by. I’m grateful for my introspection and for how I see the world unfolding perfectly in this human experiment/experience despite events that are horrific beyond my understanding.

I’m grateful for how I’ve faced the challenges in my life, even those events where in hindsight I saw a different way for me to be. Each offered a gift and I did my best to accept it.

I’m grateful that I enjoy my own company as well as being in the company of others. Both are so very important, yet we humans so very often shun being alone for fear of being lonely, forgetting that in our aloneness we hear Your voice and feel Your presence.

Thank You for always being with me/in me. Thank YOU for allowing and guiding me to be me. I feel so close You, God, in these quiet moments and I am so very grateful.

A quiet moment at Cottonwood Creek

Thankfulness and gratitude are often expressed for things external to us – our family, our work, our homes, our pets, our friends.  Yes, I am grateful, deeply grateful, for these many, many blessings in my life. 

And, another quiet moment at our favorite spot on the creek

And, in taking my gratitude to a different place this week, I found deep peace and personal satisfaction in allowing myself to express gratitude for me. In whatever form you celebrate, may it bring you peace, joy, love and all that your heart desires.

The Powerlessness of Control

The Deep Quiet of Winter Begins to Settle In

At some point it becomes necessary to realize that spiritual Power rests in giving up the issue of control as an attempt to control people outside yourself.  Gregge Tiffen (The Power of Giving Thanks – November, 2007)

On some level most of us know that controlling others doesn’t work. We’ve had experiences in close relationships, jobs, and organizations that show us this up close and personal. The violence, chaos, and crises in the world reflect attempts of one group or country to control another.  Our own culture of consumerism and competition, even politics, reflect attempts to control.

It wasn’t until I looked at an event in my own life this week through the lens of Gregge Tiffen’s quote above that I began to understand the high personal cost of my own efforts to control things outside of me.

This week I was reminded that trying to control others and situations involving others takes me away from being me and lands me square in a place of exhaustion – physically, mentally, and spiritually. In hindsight, I realized that allowing myself to skip the most important part of my day, my morning quiet time, set me on this particular path to stress.

In my quest to provide an awesome experience for my bed and breakfast guests this week, I forgot that others and situations are not mine to control.  An early morning plumbing problem in the shared guest bath, combined with a talkative guest in one room and a quiet guest in the other, found me trying to control the volume of conversation, which logs went on the fire, while I dealt with an overflowing toilet.

The plumbing problem fixed itself. Guests had their breakfast and happily moved on into their day. The clock read just shy of 10am. I was tired and found it difficult to focus my thoughts and energy on the day’s work that I wanted to accomplish. 

I slogged through that day and the next, still experiencing feeling tired and unfocused. A day later, in the quiet of my morning reflection time, I read Gregge’s words above. The dots were connected and I realized the source of the drain on my focus and energy.  I learned yet again the futility of trying to control others. And, I learned its cost:

Attempting to use your power to control others is exhausting.

This point of reflection leads me to wonder whether and how collective exhaustion in society contributes to creating the chaos we witness daily.  What might be possible in our world with just a bit more time and effort for quiet, personal reflection and the peace and personal power evoked from that awareness?

No Insignificant Thing

The nights are getting colder and slowly ice grows on Cottonwood Creek

Believe in the importance of everything you do.  Gregge Tiffen [The Journey Continues: The Legacy for Generations]

Many voices in our culture (most of them well-meaning, I assume) urge us to ‘be, do, and have’ more. “Do big things in the world” and “Make your life matter” we’re told. It’s as though we aren’t enough. 

I lived a lot of my life on that path, striving for goals I thought I should have and placing my security in the material world. Now though, I’ve come to understand life and living differently.  After years (decades?) of angst wondering if what I was up to met the standard of ‘big enough’ and not feeling as though my work in the world was meaningful (of course, I was comparing it others), I’ve come to a new understanding of what ‘important’ and ‘matters’ mean.

Being off of that treadmill is a breath of freedom and fresh air.  I see what I couldn’t see then: my worry was for naught. Nothing that I do is unimportant. And, that’s true for you too.  WooHoo!

In previous posts, I’ve written that every thought we think and every syllable we utter lives forever.  In a Universe that is energy, those thoughts and utterances matter. Whether I smile tenderly or snap impatiently in response to something in nature or Luke or another human being, it matters.  Whether I’m speaking passionately about what I care about, attending to business, or walking in the woods, it matters.

I am a part of and contributing to consciousness with every step I take.  The attitude that I engage from is more important than what I engage in. When I engage with that clarity, I’m at choice and aware of the worth in what I’m doing.

I’m not talking about drum-beating, banner-waving importance to satisfy the ego. Rather, this is the importance of self-satisfaction, self-belief, of discovery, learning and growth. It is a deepening knowing that we are each important parts of a greater whole. Yes, both YOU and me.  

It is recognizing that the opportunity to adopt a shelter dog five years ago and to engage in the journey of giving love and care and receiving unconditional love holds as much importance as other personal and professional accomplishments in life from step-parenting, marriage, and being a charter member of the ICF.  It is taking time to be patient with myself and a postal worker who had difficulty figuring out how to get my international, military package on its way. It is trusting that I’m always in the right place at the right time and not allowing the unexpected extra time required to complete a task  to be a waste or a burden.

Patiently waiting for Mom ...

Importance is not a quality that comes from comparison or competition. It emerges from honest self-assessment, self-acknowledgement, and practicing the belief that there are no small things. What important things have your attention today?

Worth & Wealth

Crossroads: I think I'll leave the captioning to you (smile).

The Universe and all Its basic laws and qualities are always and everywhere available to you. You are never empty. You cannot be destitute of substance or reality. Gregge Tiffen (An Empty Heart Makes An Empty Purse – November, 2008)

Returning home after my brief trip to Texas, I found myself busy with the arrival of a B&B guest, harvesting remaining bounty from the garden, preparing for winter weather and adjusting to the change back to standard time. 

I was feeling tired, disconnected and more than a little out of sorts. Angst around finances as the B&B season winds down was creeping in, and I found it difficult to focus on what was in front of me. But I kept pushing, trying to will myself to get things done.

That wasn’t working.

And, so I stopped to give myself the gift of time: time to rest; time to read; time to reflect; time to remember what I’ve come to understand about life:

• Opportunity abounds. My job is to discover the opportunity in this moment and, then to act accordingly.
• Everything that I need to know is available for me to discover. My job is to expand my capacity to access what I need to know.
• Each of us is an important piece of the infinite puzzle that is the Universe. Our job is to live in alignment with the piece we are designed to be.

Remembering opened me to deeper reflection about the limits that our human definitions and standards try to impose on us, limits that are counter to the infinite abundance of Universal flow. Perhaps our greatest opportunity is to learn to use these human creations for our growth, without accepting limitation.

In our culture I find it easy to fall into the trap of measuring my worth by the quantity of things I do and my wealth by the numbers in my bank account.  That leads me to compare my performance with others or to rate my performance using standards created with no regard for the infinity of the Universe. Ugh!

Giving myself time to rest, read, reflect leads me to remember that the Universe knows no limits. As part of that Universe, I have access to all it offers and I am only limited by what I accept. Worth and wealth are not defined by man’s primary measure: the quantity of what we do and how much we have.

True worth is in our nature – the unique, loving, caring, creative beings we are each designed to be.  Worth is in the choices we make and in our willingness to learn and grow.  Wealth is in our health, in our knowledge of Source, our intelligence, our ability to live in harmony, and in how we experience life.  My wealth is in my willingness to walk through life’s events as experiments discovering along the way what works and what doesn’t. It’s in the joy of creating a lifestyle that nurtures me and in having the tools to bring myself back to my center when I forget what and where that center is.

Winter is coming ... Cottonwood Creek's first icicles of the season.

Texas (The Capitol) in my rearview mirror.

Back To The Future

From Austin, Texas - The Music Capital of the World

We are part of a natural flow of experiences in which all that we are really doing is allowing ourselves to participate in the flow.  Gregge Tiffen in Deeds are Fruit, Words are Leaves (October, 2008)

This week I’m visiting Texas – that part of Texas where I spent my first days away from home at college, Central Texas.  I’m visiting cousins who didn’t live here those 45 years ago, having a fun time with the change of pace and place, and seeing how things have grown and changed since I was a college student here in the late 1960’s and early 70’s.  A fun and easy flow.

Being with family that I don’t often see (we figured out that the last time we were all together was 1999), reminds me too of family and friends who have departed this life.  And, with little time for reflection this week, I wanted to share my ‘All Hallows Eve’ post from last year http://cindyreinhardt.com/blog/all-hallows-eve

Along with a couple photos from The Lone Star State.

On the square in New Braunfels, Texas ... I love the old buildings and the stately live oaks of my home state.

Life Flows

A beautiful, soft morning across the San Luis Valley to start my day.

We are part of a natural flow of experiences in which all that we are really doing is allowing ourselves to participate in the flow.  Gregge Tiffen in Deeds are Fruit, Words are Leaves (October, 2008)

Events, many unexpected, seem to show up right on time to benefit me in some way.  I’m learning to trust more deeply that natural flow.  Beneficial events aren’t just those that feel good or bring me pleasure. Especially when I look back, I can clearly see how challenging, unpleasant events brought growth.

I don’t always get to that perspective immediately. When I do, I’m able to meet the event with curiosity, gratitude, and (hopefully) a modicum of grace.  It’s humbling and gratifying to remember that I and I alone choose how to walk through life’s events.

And, so do you. Life flows and we choose how to participate. As I prepared to participate in a somatics course this week (graciously offered by two awesome colleagues and Newfield Network), I was reminded that life flows in all directions. To paraphrase master somatics teacher, Stuart Heller:

Life flows up and Life flows down. Life flows forward and Life flows back. Life flows in and Life flows out. Life flows right and Life flows left.

Stop for a moment and let that sink in.  Better yet, stand up and move in each direction: up, down, forward, back, in, out, left, right.

Life flows out. The course and the flow reminder were just in time for me to demonstrate the power of how we walk (and sit) through life’s events to a coaching client who was trying to figure out how to broach a sensitive topic with a team member. As we explored possibilities, I suggested that she shift how she was sitting. After shifting from sitting on the edge of her chair and leaning forward to occupying the whole seat, leaning back and opening her chest, she discovered a new range of language was possible to engage in the conversation.  

Life flows in. Recently I’ve received several surprise presents that made my heart smile.

Warning signs sometimes flow into life to wake us up.

Life flows down. An issue with my health presented the opportunity to explore the depth of my conviction about my body’s ability to, with proper support, heal itself.  As I scheduled acupuncture appointments, body work, drank my herbs, adjusted my eating habits, I realized a missing ingredient: bringing my belief and my intention consciously and clearly into the process.

Life flows up. So, I’m creating a new practice to engage all of me in the healing process.

Life flows back.  As the bed & breakfast high season winds down and winter is on the horizon, I found myself experiencing some angst about money and completing the ‘get ready for winter’ list of household tasks. I needed to gently guide my thoughts to a track other than worry.

Life flows forward. Within a couple days of putting my attention on remembering that ‘all my needs are met’, I received a phone call from a woman needed temporary housing. We created an agreement that meets both of our financial requirements. In addition, she’s helping with the winter chores (a good thing as temps are dropping and we could be graced with our first snow soon) AND caring for Luke and our home while I travel next week.

Life flows. Stop for a moment and look at the events in your life over the past week. What do you notice?  How do you feel?  How are you meeting life’s flow, especially when its direction may not be exactly what you thought it would be?

Winter's white blanket is edging our way.

The Challenge of Independence

A Road Less Traveled ...

It is a crucial requirement that each of us become an independent thinker an independent person as an aware consciousness. Gregge Tiffen (The Language of A Mystic: Innovation - October, 2009)

Those who know me, would likely agree that I’m fiercely independent.  A leader in the coaching community once labelled me a ‘contrarian’ (I would wear the badge proudly). And, some of you might be smiling or shaking your head in agreement about now.

This week though I’ve begun exploring independence from its opposite: dependence. The exploration comes forth from this musing in my journal in a couple days ago:

If the truth of lack is abundance, how can truth be applied to the budget of the local water district where I serve on the board? How can I apply this truth more powerfully to my own finances?

The vast San Luis Valley reminds me that abundance is the truth.

Warning: you won’t find the answers in this post.  I’m still in the exploration.  I have more questions than answers (and, that’s a good thing!).  What I’ve come to see (in a BFO – blinding flash of the obvious) is that independent thinking leading to innovation requires experimentation.  In our culture, we’ve erected numerous barriers … dependencies, if you will … to truly independent thinking and the action that follows. 

These dependencies create a complex web that is often ignored. Take for example being dependent on a job (or having enough clients) for money to meet the needs of self and family. Or, in the case of public agencies like the water district, being dependent on generating sufficient revenue to pay the costs to keep each tap flowing. The complexity encompasses not just the issues on the surface, but a dependency that values knowing, order, and getting things right over curiosity, experimentation, and possibly needing to make course corrections.

Dependencies are embedded deep in our culture from systems and life experience. In school, we learned that good grades come giving ‘right’ answers. We carry this forward to careers, jobs, businesses, institutions – praising what’s ‘right’, condemning what isn’t – our dependency on being accepted and approved trumping our willingness to experiment, learn, grow, change and, yes, be alone in taking our stand.

Now that I see the challenge more clearly, what new possibilities will emerge? What would an innovative approach to public finance and a budget shortfall look like from the perspective of knowing that abundance (not lack and its associated fears) is a universal truth – that there is always enough?  What conversation can open that door?  What dependencies and pre-conceived ideas must I let go of to invite and engage the conversation?  How will I tap into the courage to do just that?

Yep, more questions than answers. I’ll let you know what emerges in the weeks ahead. Meanwhile, what are you dependent upon that is in the way of living the independent life you were designed to live?

Morning light and the Zigguraut never fail to offer just what I need ... calm, inspiration, beauty (and the list goes on).

The Gift of Resistance (Take 2)

Will there be snow on the peaks tomorrow?

"Challenge your resistance or resist your challenge."

"You become a part of your own excitement when you recognize that you living your life is you being revealed to you." 

Gregge Tiffen [The Great Pumpkin: Was Charlie Brown Right? – October, 2007]

As often happens I didn’t start this post with the idea of busting a meme, yet in a BFO (blinding flash of the obvious) during our morning walk, I saw that indeed I am challenging the conventional wisdom which says that ‘challenging resistance means doing what it is I/you are resisting’.  Au contraire.

Challenging resistance doesn’t necessarily mean doing something I’m having a reaction to, avoiding, or wanting to run away from.  Rather, it means recognizing my reaction as resistance. That requires being aware of and willing to name what I’m experiencing as resistance, followed by questioning to discover the source of that resistance and what gift it has to offer.

Resistance has crossed my path several in several experiences recently. First was the idea that when I declare that I ‘don’t know’ or don’t have access to the information that would guide me to know, I’m resisting. That’s an idea that I’m still working on.

Then, in a course that I signed up for mostly to earn credits toward renewing my coaching credential next year, although I was intrigued by and thought I ‘should’ (ugh!) do it,  I noticed I was reacting to being taught. ‘I already know this’. This doesn’t apply to me, because I’m (blah, blah, blah). Without an intention to learn, I quickly moved to what I might call arrogant boredom. I grumbled my way through the first two lessons, not taking time to be aware that I was resisting and to reflect on that awareness.

I also found myself reacting to a post from someone I follow on social media. As she pontificated on being beyond about how she’d grown and others who hadn’t (blah, blah, blah), I was turned off, tuned out, and I felt made wrong. More ugh! And with those ‘ughs’, I noticed opportunity to explore and reflect.

Enter reading the booklet that’s the source of this week’s quotes.  I paused, took a breath, named and owned my resistance. As I opened, I allowed the resistance to inform me and to guide me to choose again. In one situation, I’m in the process of shifting my resistance to curiosity and exploring how to incorporate the content on my terms. In the other, I’m simply letting go, declaring that there’s no right/wrong, good/bad, rather understanding that my beliefs are not aligned with the ideas being put forth.

Through recognizing and owning my resistance, I gained new insight into me and discovered the gift of challenging resistance: new knowledge; knowledge that is both useful in the moment and becomes wisdom to carry forward on my sojourn – in this life and beyond.

Yes!  Morning brings the season's first dusting on the peaks ... and

A cheerful bluebird that reminds me to smile!

Catch A Falling Leaf

The hills are alive enroute to Cochetopa Pass

Life is an enormous power to be understood and used as energy.  Gregge Tiffen (Open Secrets: Ancient Rituals October, 2011)*

In the last few weeks we’ve experienced a solar eclipse, the autumnal equinox (here in the northern hemisphere), and this week’s spectacular eclipse of the super, harvest moon.  Each event had its own power. Each of us experienced the events in our own way, unique to us and understood at our own level of awareness, knowledge and interest.

As we move into autumn with daylight waning day to day on our way to the quiet, inner time of winter, we approach the season of celebration: harvest festivals and the holy days of many religions.  As the leaves are providing their annual show of fall color, I move into my annual preparation for winter and I’m reminded of the energy of connecting with the earth, her cycles and of rituals that emerged from observation.

In ancient times, holy days were truly holy. The people stopped. They celebrated and, perhaps sometimes recalibrated, to be in sync with the planet. They observed. They interpreted. They sought to understand the energy of events and to use that energy.  It seems that they understood intention and the power of the mind in ways that science today is proving. From their understanding rituals emerged.

Happy dog pausing to pose on the trail ... 'come on Mom!'

A drive high into the mountains to immerse myself in the beauty of the turning leaves reminded me of a ritual that Gregge Tiffen wrote about in the booklet that today’s quote comes from: catching a falling leaf. A falling leaf “represents the goodness of Mother Earth,” thus good luck emanates from catching one before it hits the ground. It is said that in ancient times wise women sent the children out to do just that. The caught leaf is carried until the end of the season and disposed of at the Winter Solstice.

Catching a falling leaf is not as easy as you’d think. My car ‘caught’ one that floated in the window. I have yet to catch mine.

I think of rituals as habits or practices that I do with awareness, intention and a sense of sacredness. We create ritual when we bring purpose and a sense of the sacred into life whether catching a leaf each autumn for good luck or blessing our food daily for gratitude and good health.

The pass -- an historic place to steep in nature's beauty.