Names Create Spaciousness (Or Not)

Blessed Snow in the Woods Out Back

We need to exercise great care and respect when we come to name something. We always need to find a name that is worthy and spacious. John O’Donohue (The Danger of the Name – essay in Eternal Echoes: Exploring Our Hunger to Belong)

Oh, how O’Donohue speaks to my soul and kindles both memory and reflection this morning, connecting dots and opening a door to exploration as I sat with the weekly question: what do Muse and The Pivot want to point to this day?

As I re-read the essay that I’d landed in I was reminded of how my canine companion of nine, all to short years, Cool Hand Luke Skywalker, came to the name given him by his ‘foster mom’. Her story was perhaps my first conscious encounter with the importance of naming. She explained that she wanted to give him a name that “he can live into”. Given what little she knew of this pup’s life before the shelter, she was inspired by Paul Newman’s line in the movie Cool Hand Luke, “Sometimes no hand is the best hand of all.” In renaming him Cool Hand Luke, she opened doors of possibility for Lester, the name given him at the shelter.

But what about the ‘Skywalker’ part of his name?

I loved her story and Luke’s name as much as I loved the amazing dog. The importance of a name stayed with me. While observing Luke, I noticed some of his ways seemed Jedi-like, so naturally one day Cool Hand Luke became Cool Hand Luke Skywalker. I like to think that he lived into that name fully until the moment he took his last breath on this plane and that he continues to do so in the unseen world beyond the Rainbow Bridge.

I was also reminded that when ‘Sadie’ adopted me as her forever human three years ago, I wanted to give her a name to live into, one with greater possibility and potential that what I associated with the old comic, Sarge, Sad Sack, and Sadie, or Sadie Hawkins Day dances. I chose the name Zadie Byrd based on the feisty, loving, revolutionary character in Rivera Sun’s series, The Dandelion Insurrection. Ms. Byrd has her own way of living into that. Only later did I research the name Sadie and learn its Hebrew origin and meaning, princess. Perhaps she’ll become Princess Zadie Byrd someday. Hmm…Princess Leia she suggests.

Muse has patiently waited as I reminisced, eager to link my stories with recent experiences: my guidance to reflect on humility (mine and how I might tweak my engagement with it) and experiencing not having words (or that the old, usual words no longer fit) to describe something (several ‘somethings’ to be honest) in numerous conversations.

I’m coming to understanding that we/I are often so quick, and thoughtless Muse adds, to name things that we/I miss the richness of the experience. We limit ourselves to the known, the stories we hold about whatever name we’ve chosen. I’m often quick to name a feeling, an emotion so that I can move on, limiting my opportunity for reflection, deeper understanding, and, perhaps, even healing. What if the ‘sadness’ I named a few days ago was something else and had more to say had I given it space, time, and my lens of curiosity?

Perhaps that sadness held gifts like the ‘guilt’ that I carried deep inside (mostly unconsciously of course) for decades around an action against a family member when I was a child. Recalling the incident recently I discovered that the guilt named and put aside perhaps with some slight act of forgiveness long ago continued its life in me. It had gifts and insights to offer. When I dared dig deeper I discovered there had been no need to name and feel guilt at all. My action had been a blessing.

I sense we’re in a time where we need to give ourselves the skills, the time, the grace, and the spaciousness to name our experiences and our observations with greater care. How might our stories about disease, poverty, war, violence, etc. shift if in the darkness of their names and our stories we shined light? Light of possibility. Light of love. Light of care. What if we shunned the prisons that we’ve named ‘realities’ and bless them with new names?

I feel our world changing, sometimes gently, sometimes not so gently. A new age is rising. How we name the changes upon us will determine just how those changes look in our world. And how we experience them. Let’s be care-filled as we do!

Nature’s Sculpting

Discovering Fire Anew

A Home in the Woods

Some day after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness the energies of love. And then, for the second time in the history of the world, we will have discovered fire. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Stillness. I was called to stillness this week. Quiet. Stillness. Inward. Outward. Expressionless Expression. Thoughtful without thought. Within. Without. Fullness. Emptiness. Rest. Deep Rest. Body rest. Mind rest. Spirit rest. Rest to restore. Rest for reset. Rest for the new. Rest to renew. Stillness. Quiet. Rest.

In quiet stillness, I continued to follow and reflect on the theme each day in the Gandhi King Season for Nonviolence. The themes included self-forgiveness, inspiration, mission, prayer, harmony, friendliness, respect. As in the themes leading to this point each resonated to different parts of my being.

Harmony, my personal ‘favorite’ this week, found me exploring acceptance and tolerance and recognizing just how violent unjust criticism of both self and others is.  I saw that each theme is not a goal to reach but a quality, a way of being, to be built from the inside out. Moment to moment. Day to day.

From that insight, inspiration found me wanting to celebrate those moments where I meet what nonviolence asks of me, while self-forgiveness reminded me to be gentle when I fall short.

Somewhere along the way, I saw (in a blinding flash of the obvious) with crystal clarity that LOVE is the essence in all of nonviolence and in the themes offered each day in the Season. Without love, the themes are simply words and any action stemming from them without love is dull, empty, impermanent. On the other hand, with love our words and actions are everlasting, full, and bright. Imagine a world where we each embrace ‘harnessing the energies of love’ as our mission. Imagine yourself and others navigating life with the respect and friendliness that the energy of love commands.

I’m imagining that I’m building my capacity to harness the energy of love and to pour that love into every person, every event I encounter (and, yes, I have a L O N G way to go to meet that high standard of ‘every’). But taking on that as purpose and mission reminds me of the truth that we are all one of the One. We are not separate from Source or from one another. Violence toward another is violence toward self just as love toward another is an expression of self-love.

My prayer for humanity and for our planet is that we ‘let peace be on the earth and let it begin with me’. Give yourself a few moments to allow this beautiful version (click here) to wash over you and to enter your being.

A Snowy Day at the Ziggurat

Forgiveness: A Requirement for Resiliency and Peace

Snowy clouds obscure the mountains’ majesty as holding resentment obscures our own …

Forgiveness is more than a function, more than something we do or say to others (or to ourselves) after they (or we) have done something wrong. Forgiveness is an attitude of nonjudgmentalism, whereby we're always looking for the true self in another person, the spark of divinity, the best, the creative potential.  Joan Borysenko (Pace e Bene’s This Nonviolent Life: Daily Inspiration for Your Nonviolent Journey – January 22, 2020)

They caused the first wound, but you are causing the rest; this is what not forgiving does. They got it started, but you keep it going. Forgive and let go, or it will eat you alive. You think they made you feel this way, but when you won't forgive, you are the one inflicting pain on yourself. Bryant McGill (Pace e Bene’s This Nonviolent Life: Daily Inspiration for Your Nonviolent Journey – January 21, 2020)

Last week when I explored nurturing resiliency (here if you missed it) I didn’t see resiliency’s link to forgiveness. I invited readers to think of a challenge you’ve faced and to consider ‘in what ways was your resiliency hampered?’  Little did I know that the question would bring me straight to the importance of, indeed the requirement for, forgiveness as an element of resiliency.  

In fact, the connection didn’t occur to me until this morning as I was re-reading the two quotes above. When I first saw them, they resonated deeply.  I knew that this week’s musing would be built around them. What I didn’t know was how up close and personal that would prove to be.

Borysenko’s idea of forgiveness as an attitude not simply an act struck me first. It seems obvious upon considering. Like love, forgiveness is not something we do then check off our list. Forgiveness is a way of life, of being grounded in the non—judgmental understanding that everyone has their story, good and bad; we are all different, we are all the same. Unity. We are one. (Yes, even those who have ‘done us wrong’ and those whose views and behaviors we loathe.) Gulp! Such words are easy. Practicing them as a way of life is our challenge. It requires vigilance. In order to forgive we must let go of our need to be right. I have some work to do.

It was the quote from McGill that really got my attention (or should I say shook me from the inside out?).  I was invited to look at a resentment I’ve held for a while around a promise not kept (at least I thought a promise was made).  Beyond that personal event, I was invited to look at the many judgments I hold. Judgments about those who see their companion animals as pets to be controlled rather than as partners deserving respect and care. Judgments about some social media posts and those who make them. Judgments toward those who perpetuate violence upon the planet, to those whose political views and behavior I abhor, and beyond.

McGill’s words invited me to look at the cost - to me personally and to the greater whole of which I am a part.  I saw how failing to forgive wears me down, impacts my well-being, my resiliency, my peace. Whether as a conscious, intentional choice (as in ‘I’ll never forgive him, her, etc.”) or simply because we are unconscious of the opportunity before us, there is a high personal cost of holding on to our judgments. Indeed, not forgiving can be seen an act of violence against ourselves. I experienced one of those wonderful, yet excruciating and humbling ‘duh, but of course, ah-ha’ moments. Blessed be!

I have some work to do this week on my personal resiliency, my peace, indeed my health and well-being. It’s not just eating right, taking my vitamins, and physical exercise, it’s taking a deeper dive into what forgiveness means to me and how I will embrace it today, tomorrow, and beyond. Stay tuned!

Beyond the clouds … blue skies to come!