I wonder how the pine cone feels when it opens to let its seeds fall on fertile ground …
Pain is a doorway to the here and now. Physical or emotional pain is an ultimate form of ground, saying to each of us, in effect, there is no other place than this place, no other body than this body, no other limb or joint or pang or sharpness or heartbreak but this searing presence. Pain asks us to heal by focusing not only on the place the pain is felt but also the actual way the pain is felt. Pain is a form of alertness and particularity; pain is a way in. David White, Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words
A thread woven into my life in the week past is rest, deep rest. I’ve been both resting deeply and observing what arises from such rest, and I thought it would be the focus of today’s post, so I turned to David Whyte’s Consolations, remembering an essay on the topic. On the way, pain intervened.
Not felt physical or immediate emotional pain, but in Whyte’s essay, I discovered a gift that stirred the depths of another thread weaving in my life recently: health, more specifically my fear of ill-health. The stirring invited me in to shine a light on a recent health event and my reactions to it.
In shining the light, I discovered that my fear of ill-health is but a veneer for deeper fears lurking within. Weeds in need of plucking after being exposed in the light of new awareness. Weeds that upon being plucked open the potential for a transformational pivot from fear to a higher frequency. The pain of fear opening a way in.
The soil holding those ‘weeds’ seems rich with nutrients desiring to serve a different crop. Underneath each deeper fear, the soil offers up an invitation to plant that new, higher frequency crop. Like the nuts, seeds that fall from an opening pine cone.
An invitation to surrender found within the envelope of fear around losing control to a system in which I have little trust. A reminder too that ‘control’ is itself an illusion.
An invitation to trust awaiting the light of discovery in the envelope of fear of needing help and that help not being there, coupled with a fear that I didn’t do enough of the ‘right’ things to maintain my health.
Shining a light on my ego-driven fear of humiliation offered up an invitation to deeper self-love and self-acceptance. And, an invitation to compassion in the envelope of judgment that sometimes surfaces around the choices of others when they experience ill-health.
Pain, a way in? Yes indeed! Pain, a way into shining light on fears lurking, fears that have no place for permanent residence in a life that aims to live into the truth of Oneness and conscious co-creation with Source. And yet fears that when I allow them to visit, hold gifts, invitations to pivot into the very life I desire for myself and for all.
On my altar are three stones naming qualities that I aim to create in my life. They are my friends, ones I invite to take up permanent residence: Serenity, Harmony, Curiosity. This day it seems that my friend Curiosity has opened pain as an exploration on the path to establishing that permanent residency for the others: Serenity and Harmony. Paving the way with invitations to surrender, to trust, to acceptance and self-love, and to compassion. Perhaps a walk on the yellow brick road is at hand!
Friends on the altar …