Woke to a Surprise Snow This Morning …
There is hardly a more generous gift we can offer someone than to accept them fully… Elizabeth Gilbert
To which I would add: that includes fully accepting YOU for who you are. But I digress from the exploration of graciousness that I experienced and the insights of this sixth week in the Gandhi King Season for Nonviolence.
The theme of graciousness moved me most deeply this week among the many beautiful threads being woven into the fabric of nonviolence during this 64-day period marking the dates between when Gandhi and King were each assassinated.
‘Am I willing to make gracious concessions on things that do not matter while I also stand firm in my convictions about those things which do?’ was the essence of the question posed on day 37, graciousness the theme. Doing so invites (indeed requires) me to detach from my opinions. Say what!?? ‘But my opinions are my armor, my protection …’ I reacted. Then, taking in a breath I realized ‘… and my opinions maintain the illusion that I am separate from, maybe sometimes even better than, another.’
For me that can take the form of stewing in unspoken words of criticism or popping off a snarky comment for what I perceive is someone else’s mistake, a MIMEO: Mistake In My Eyes Only. And, although whatever I observed may indeed be in error, it is unimportant in the grander landscape of life. When I detach from my opinion, letting go of my need to be right, I open the door to allow graciousness to enter. I embrace that grander reality that we are not separate and, although we are each unique, we are all the same.
This is not in any way to suggest that we look the other way and maintain silence in the face of those values and convictions that we hold dear. Graciousness is not about sweeping under the rug or ignoring injustice, inequality, racism, poverty, dishonestly, etc. It is about speaking to those very things from a grounded, clear place with care.
To me, Meghan and Harry demonstrated graciousness in their interview this week with Oprah – speaking their truth, sharing their experience, and revealing aspects of the Royal Family and the British Monarchy that are generally hidden from view. Such revelations about influencers and institutions are likely to continue and to point us to changes needed to sustain human life on the planet. May we reveal with grace.
A commitment to graciousness invites us to speak and act on what we wish to change in the world from a place of love not fear; dialogue with rather than spewing our views at another; choosing mindful kindness over unconsciousness animosity; and seeking understanding instead of our own sense of righteousness.
This week’s themes or threads – love, kindness, mindfulness, dialogue, understanding and graciousness – add to the strong and beautiful fabric of nonviolence. Each are concepts and ways of being that model how I want to participate in life and how I dream life can be on the planet and we move step by step toward creating a world that works for all. And they point us to the theme for today: unity.
And Had a Beautiful Warm Fire to Break the Chill - Grateful!