Zadie Byrd & Me - Our Bigger Selves
How exactly to act in particular situations is a matter of waiting on God. The answer comes straight in response to prayer from the heart. Such prayer carries with it the anguish of the soul. Gandhi (December 8, 2021 quote from This Nonviolent Life: Daily Inspiration for Your Nonviolent Journey - Pace e Bene Nonviolence Service)
THIS clay is mine to mold. Mine is not to mold another into what I wish they would do or be. Mine is to sculpt me.
Gandhi’s quote leapt off the screen this morning, immediately resonating as part of an answered prayer I found myself speaking this past week. It feels a bit like the icing on a cake, an added breath of fresh air, and a reminder that there is more to unfold in my awareness if only I ask AND (the hard part for me) patiently allow the unfolding in its own divine time.
So simple. And, not so easy. The Muse nudges me move along and share a disappointment that I experienced this week …
The event reminded me of the importance of being aware of my expectations, especially what I expect of others, and of distinguishing expectations from promises. My initial response was not of the highest order. Yes Muse. Yes, I reacted. And in my reaction, I discovered a gift: a desire to be ‘bigger than my small self’. That was, indeed is, my prayer.
In hindsight (and, yes, Muse with your help) I see that my prayer rose from deep within. In recognizing my desire to respond differently, I thankfully didn’t go to a self-loathing place of criticism and judgement, but rather, after a few tears, to the realization that I was more disappointed in myself and my reaction than I was in the expectation that hadn’t been met.
Bringing the event and my reaction home to me placed the responsibility right where I needed it to be. THIS clay is mine to mold. Mine is not to mold another into what I wish they would do or be. Mine is to sculpt me.
A slow walk in the labyrinth and a saunter around the woods listening to the quiet settled me like salve on an angry wound. I let go of any desire to keep my disappointment alive as fuel for … for what? Like the fossil fuels we must continue to move away from, the fuels of disappointment, of anger, of hurt are not the energy with which I want to fuel this vehicle in which my soul walks upon Mother Earth. If there is future action to be taken, I will wait, sans expectation, for the Divine to show me the way.
This little event showed me other places where I hold hopes and expectations that others will be a particular way or do a particular thing. It reminded me of the lesson I came to learn on this sojourn: Everyone has their story. We are different. We are all the same. With nudges from the Muse, I see what clay is mine to sculpt and I’m reminded that there is a time and place and guidance for all that I am to sculpt.
May I be bigger than my small self, for when I am, I’m content to wait on God.
Grandmother Moon, Venus, & Orbs in the Early Evening Sky