The Gift of Self-Belief

"To have faith in God is to follow this faith through by having faith in the self." - Ernest Holmes (The Science of Mind)

"The Ultimate Gift of Self Belief is Personal Peace." - Cindy Reinhardt

When I opened my daily reading this morning I wasn’t surprised that the topic was faith in self. You see, this week I’ve been reflecting on the strength of my own self-belief, how it’s developed over the years, and what that development makes possible. I also mused about my observations of what happens when faith in self waivers and the upset that often results.

In part, these reflections grew out of a part of my personal goal setting. They were also spawned from conversations with clients who, in my observation, seemed to lack a belief in self to call upon when life’s inevitable curve balls come flying their way, or who tend to measure success mostly in material terms and feel like a victim when they think they’ve fallen short.

The story in this daily reading was about a curve ball experienced by the famous violinist Itzhak Perlman as he was about to perform in concert. Perlman had motioned to the conductor that he was ready. Moments later a string on his violin broke. Unable to pop up to get another violin, he played with only three strings, creating a virtuoso performance to which the audience responded with great applause. But, it’s what he quietly said as the applause died down that speaks volumes about Perlman’s self-belief. “You know, sometimes it is the artist’s task to find out how much music you can make with what you have left.”

When we develop a strong belief in self, we grow our capacity to see life’s curve balls just as Perlman did: an opportunity to see what we can make of the situation rather than being thrown asunder by events.

When we place our faith in self rather than money we have in the bank, we can be curious, willing to experiment, and even willing to fail because we know that in reality there is no such thing as ‘failure’. Even in what may feel like the darkest times, we ‘know’ that we are just fine.

Strong faith in self gives us the strength to make choices that are right for us, without regard for what others make think, say or do as a result.

Developing a strong sense of self has bought me more in tune with nature and with Source (or God, or the Universe, if you prefer) and help me understand that Source is not something ‘out there’. Rather it is right here inside as wisdom to tap into 24/7.

Developing strong self-belief requires commitment, discipline (think ‘disciple’, not your second grade teacher rapping your knuckles with a ruler!), and consistent practice. If it’s a new idea for you, developing self-belief can be helped along with training wheels (think coach).

This week, I leave you (and me) with a challenge: Just how much will you and I deepen our self-belief this year? Are you ready to start (or continue) now?

Beginning Anew

"Each moment holds the power of promise for you to exert your individuality, to expand in wisdom and to reflect only good. Universal intelligence is always working. Begin with a promise to yourself that you will co-create with it." - Gregge Tiffen

We’ve said our farewells to the year passed and, good or bad, hopefully we’ve let go and stepped fully into the new calendar year 2015. She’s already a week old, yet still a babe – with 358 days to live, laugh, love and create our lives.

Perhaps your year is off to fast start and you are well on your way to the awesome goals you’ve set forth. Or, maybe you’ve noticed that your goals just aren’t compelling you into action each day and you wonder ‘what’s up with that?’ Perhaps, like me, your goals are just beginning to form.

As I began to reflect on my goals for this new year, those that first emerged (and those that are most exciting to me) address quality of life: how I want to experience it rather than what I want to accomplish, what I want to learn more than what I can do with what I think I know, and how I want to be over what I want or need to do.

Deeply connected with nature, for example, giving myself time to walk the labyrinth and explore the woods out back. What does their deep quiet offer? Or, understanding the roles my physical, mental and spiritual bodies play and how they work so that I can better create with each.

I didn’t intentionally start there, rather those ideas simply showed up. And, I’m following to see where they lead.

In noticing these, I’ve begun to wonder if perhaps the world’s approach to goals [‘accomplish this and you’ll be happy, successful’; ‘do that and you’ll have the life of your dreams’] isn’t backward.

What might we create if with start by identifying the qualities we desire in life, declare them clearly, and then use the opportunities that come our way to create those qualities?

That’s how I’m beginning anew … what about you?

Thank YOU 2014!

"Be happy with yourself. The joy you experience provides an indestructible armor against any misfortune. Your voice was meant to be a lullaby giving comfort to the weary and security to the young. You were meant to be the giver and the gift. Do not attempt to take that from yourself. It cannot be done any more than you can take the stars from the heavens. You have your place in the Universe. Accept it with grace and good humor." - Gregge Tiffen

As we often do when we prepare to turn the page on an old year and step into the blank slate of a new one, a look back is in order.

I started the year wondering how to go beyond the measures of success that the world suggests we use to evaluate. I posed these questions to myself and in my first post of 2014:

• What am I here to learn?
• What qualities in my life do I choose to more fully develop?
• How well do I see everything in life as opportunity?
• How strong is my belief in the personal power that I have been given?
• How well am I using my capacity to live in the world without becoming of it?

As the 365 days of 2014 come to a close, I happy to say that I am happy with myself. I’m mostly pleased with how I walked through the year, its opportunities and challenges.

One year ago this week I started serious conversations with the owner (who is also a dear friend) about how I might purchase this home. I felt deeply that I was meant to be here, to steward the property, and to create a place for others to come for rest, renewal, and connecting deeply with nature. And, I didn’t see how that could be possible.

But I took a step, then another, and I continued to walk. I learned more deeply how to trust and to allow things to unfold. Unfold it did: a seller willing and able to negotiate, a gift received, a discovery that now was the best time to begin receiving my Social Security payments, and unexpectedly discovering that I could qualify for a mortgage.

Step by step the way revealed itself and the Dragonfly House was born, receiving her first guests in late July and throughout the month of August.

While I’m proud of simply accomplishing the goal, I’m most satisfied with what I gained in the process – a deeper conviction of the power I have as a co-creator in my life, a rediscovery of what ‘home’ means to me as a quality in my life, and a better understanding of the freedom living life on my terms brings.

As I bid adieu to my friend, 2014, and open the door to her successor, I do so with a deep bow of gratitude and with anticipation for what opportunities this year, 2015, has in store for each of us.

Luke's Solstice Gift

“Become totally empty; Quiet the restlessness of the mind; Only then will you witness everything unfolding from emptiness.” - Lao Tzu

My soul has been longing for my body and mind to slow down, stop even, and step into the pace and rhythm of this sacred time of year. That, after all, has been my practice for many years. And, the quiet of the snow blessed woods calls me gently each time I step out the door or look out the window at the beauty.

This year is different though. The world is also calling me to participate: clients wanting a last session of the year, visitors needing lodging here and the Dragonfly House, and key staff changes at the local agency where I serve as President of the Board. And, that doesn’t include a few holiday activities that nurture me – body, mind and spirit.

Something needed to shift and I knew it wasn’t likely to be the world inviting me to stop (or me declining an invitation). I needed to get beyond the either/or [stop and turn off the world OR forego the nurturing of Solstice time] and move to both/and [participate in the opportunities of the events offered by the world AND give myself the gifts of Solstice’ nurturing].

And, no surprise, the amazingly sensitive and awesome teacher in my life provided just the path, hopping onto the couch as I was snuggled in with a cup of tea before beginning the day. No, he didn’t curl up at my feet as he usually does. Rather, he plopped right on my chest (all 60 loving pounds) and fell fast asleep. The choice was clear: seize the moment and use it to honor my soul’s longing OR deny the gift (get up, put a log on the fire, write my blog, etc. etc.).

I seized the moment. For a blissful hour I watched my thoughts conspire to move me into action (or at least into thinking about what I needed to do in the world or how events might unfold) as I simply relaxed on the couch and allowed myself to bathe in gratitude for my life and to feel the unconditional love of the Universe through its messenger of the moment, Cool Hand Luke Skywalker -Texas Ranger.

Luke’s gift was a reminder that life is rarely about the win/loose, either/or choices that we so often allow ourselves to fall victim to. Choices, yes they are the core of our journey. But, when we empty the clutter of thoughts that cloud our clarity we obscure the beauty of that power of choice.

Luke and I wish you the best this season and invite you to take time for you and your soul. We promise that you won’t regret it.

P.S. A Solstice gift for you. Last year on this Thursday before Solstice I wrote about the beauty and blessings of this special time of year when “All of heaven and all of earth coordinate at the Winter Solstice.” Gregge Tiffen*

Winter Solstice is the time of natural transformation, newness that comes forth with or without our awareness. Winter Solstice is the time when our receptivity is heightened in consciousness. Is it any wonder that with fewer hours of daylight, we are drawn inside into our homes, perhaps under the covers, and definitely drawn to be inside ourselves at this time of year?

The Way That Is In You

"Do not compare, do not measure. No other way is like yours. All other ways deceive and tempt you. You must fulfill the way that is in you." - Carl Jung

As I was snuggled in front of the fire several mornings past about to begin my morning reading and quiet time practice, Luke, who had been sleeping at my feet, woke and began to scratch. He's been doing that more than usual,

and it reminded me of a comment that a dog trainer made some time ago about scratching becoming a habit in "OCD dogs".

Remembering her comment triggered a series of thoughts about our cultural habit of diagnosing and labeling behavior that doesn't fit the culture's definition of 'normal' (think ADD, ADHD, OCD, etc.).

I thought about how it seems to me we are trying to create a 'one size fits all' culture that, while it gives lip service to individuality, seeks conformity to some not quite clear definition of "normal". One size hardly fits anyone well. This is what I see when I look at our education system, much of the business and corporate world, and even health care. Learn this. Do this. Take this drug. Don't be different. Conform.

After a few minutes, I put aside that thinking and opened my Science of Mind
magazine to start my daily reading. The quote above greeted me, and I chuckled at the 'coincidence'.

Then as I reflected more deeply, I felt deep gratitude for the path that is uniquely mine and for daring to step out to discover and experiment with how the Universe works.

I'm grateful for those teachers along the way who encourage me. I'm grateful too for those who discourage and need for me to conform. Each provides information and experiences for me to discover more about 'the way that is in me'. I'm grateful for the experiences that I glide through with ease. I'm learning to see those that seem not so easy, even painful, as experiments in discovering and developing 'my way'. And, I'm grateful for them as well.

I'm reminded of Frank Sinatra's hit from my college days, My Way.  I trust I'm nowhere near my 'final curtain', but I aim to be able to sing it with joy and sincerity when I get there. For me, that is yet another way to define success.

Reflection for the Week: How true are you to ‘the way that is in you’?

Home!

"There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home…" - Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz

As I sit down to write this morning, I’ve been home from my wonderful 11 day Thanksgiving holiday for less than 24 hours. I’m struck more deeply than ever by how much I love my home, Luke and the quiet, consistent beauty of the woods where our home is nestled. I’m in that blissful ‘I never want to leave’ state of peace that coming home brings.

I’m also mindful that the events I experienced on this trip are rich territory for reflection now that I’m home, where reflection comes easily and nurtures me in so many ways.

Naturally, the memories of a fun, relaxing week with my cousin and her dogs in eastern Washington top the list. How we easily adapted when a dead battery aborted a planned hike out to Kamiak Butte, choosing to hike an urban trail, and stopping for coffee along the way. No lattes in the woods, and nature’s beauty abounds in the rolling hills of her small college community.

Although I love my morning walks with Luke, it was nice to have a break from our routine and to sip tea or coffee over a daily newspaper with comics (in color!) each morning. I saw a couple movies (5 minutes away vs. 60 miles) and enjoyed great food, including a traditional Thanksgiving feast. Each morning I awoke looking up at a piece of art woven by a friend here in Crestone. And, most important of all, just hanging out with my cousin in the beauty of her art-filled home made for a memorable trip. Friends who know us both say we’re more like sisters, and I agree.

Events at the outset of the trip are also on the reflection list, including how I navigated a situation that arose with the person I’d engaged to stay with Luke. When she didn’t arrive as planned, a friend came to rescue him from six hours in his kennel (I thought he’d be there a couple hours at most) while I was on the road to Denver some 200 miles away. After a restless night wresting with not having care for Luke and what seemed to be an aborted trip, my friend called and said “I want Luke to stay here with me while you’re away. Go. Have fun!” And, that I did.

As I settle in to sort mail, pay bills, stack wood along with other so called ‘chores’, I have the joy of reflection to look forward to in this season that, for me, evokes just that: going within and reacquainting me with me.

Reflection for the Week: What rich territory is available for you to reflect upon as we enter this winter season?

Giving Thanks

This week, I am steeped in gratitude. Although I live life with deep gratitude, this week of Thanksgiving as I slow down and spend time with family I am especially grateful for so much - family, friends, home, nature's beauty, health, and (of course) Cool Hand Luke Skywalker.  I'm grateful for the many people whose paths mine has crossed and the learning that happens in those intersections.

I often quote Gregge Tiffen, whose private sessions and writing continue to have a profound impact on my life.  Reading and reflecting on his Thanksgiving Prayer in a way that personalizes it for me has become a part of my personal Thanksgiving celebration. Thus, I share it with you once again this year.

May you have some time for quiet reflection and for giving Thanks in your own personal, special way.

Thanksgiving Prayer by Gregge Tiffen

Dear God:

I wonder sometimes how you put up with me and all the other people who call upon you only in times of need, but hardly ever in times of celebration.

I am so grateful for your patience and understanding and know that, if I would but try, I could express the same to all that I meet.  I am ever mindful of your infinite wisdom and thankful that it expresses in a quiet tolerance that allows me to experience life in my own way.

I am happy in the understanding that, although you hold all knowledge, I am allowed to search and discover in my own way and at my own pace.  I appreciate you leaving me to my own devices and methods, so that the thrill of discovery is never diminished or impaired and becomes a lasting part of my personal wisdom.

I thank you for the opportunity that I get every day to grow and expand in mind and consciousness; and for allowing me to make my errors and accept my victories, for in them I find my identity and my reason for being.

Thanks too, for the people who have crossed my path.  Some have been warm and loving and some have been hostile, but all have shown me that goodness and mercy comes in all sizes and shapes.

 And most of all, thank you for granting me the experience of self awareness. Without that I would never understand the warmth of the sun or the brilliance of a winter's day, nor could I comprehend the wonder of a child's smile.

I know that I don't come to you often enough, to sit silently in your lap, but when I do, there is always room for me there and your comforting arm is always around me.  I am so thankful that I am your child, and right or wrong, your love for me for never changes.  Thank you for welcoming me back home once again on this Thanksgiving Day.

©G-Systems International ………. http://www.g-systems.com

Choosing Faith Over Fear

"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt (in his first inaugural address – 1933)

We’ve all felt that “nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror” that stops us in our tracks. Sometimes though, fear isn’t so obvious. It creeps into our thoughts as concern and into our words and deeds as we navigate daily life. Perhaps we don’t notice feeling especially fearful, but we find ourselves worrying. That worry can lead us down any number of destructive paths. It blocks us from the creative flow of the Universe.

The antidote is faith. I’m coming to understand more deeply that I respond (or react) to life’s events from one or the other – fear or faith. One brings me joy and curiosity. The other brings stress and pain.

Developing faith first requires us to know what we believe. I personally believe in an abundant, loving Universe that offers a cornucopia of opportunity of all shapes, forms and colors. All that is asked of me is to ask, trust, and step forward to receive.

After we come to understand what we believe (or perhaps even what we think we might or could believe), faith requires consistent practice, bringing our belief into everything, to each event life brings our way. In making this my practice (and in sometimes forgetting to do so) I’ve strengthened my conviction about the nature of the Universe.

This week, I’ve had the opportunity to choose faith rather than stepping into fear when, much to my chagrin, I discovered that I’d made a costly error. I misread the ‘free trial period’ offer for a course that I wanted to try out, and when I called to cancel, I was told that I wouldn’t receive a full refund because I was beyond the trial period. I felt a surge of energy. I paused. I took a breath. I made my case and admitted my error as I talked with a customer service representative and up the chain to his boss. I kept in check what could have easily become fear expressed as anger.

When the conversation ended and after a brief ‘you should have paid more attention’ conversation with myself, I plugged into my belief that the resources I need will come and that being angry would block the flow. I stopped any conversation in my head about ‘them’ or ‘me’. At day’s end an email informed me that ‘voila’ I had a new client, a step on the path to recovering my loss.

This week, I’ve also had the opportunity to observe a community conversation around the budget and proposed fee increases by the agency that provides water and sanitation services. Some residents have expressed concern that increases will continue and they won’t be able to afford to live in the community. As the conversation has unfolded via email to board members (I serve on the board) and on social media, I’ve observed some who engage in angry, inaccurate comments stated as fact. They seem to have no interest in dialog. From my perspective, they are grounded in fear.

Others are concerned, but come forth with questions and curiosity about how we can do this differently. I sense that, while they don’t know the answers, they have faith that we can chart a course that works. Watching this conversation up close and personal and preparing to participate in it when I chair tomorrow’s board meeting, has me wonder ‘what is the world we will create when we choose faith over fear’? I don’t know, but my imagination likes the look and feel of this possibility for myself personally, for my community, and for the planet.

Doing vs. Living

"We progress by experiencing what is happening with our full awareness. We should never go through any condition or event without perceiving the full essence of that experience through our own senses. When was the last time you really tasted a French fry?" - Gregge Tiffen

This quote which comes from an essay I was reading last night, after a tiring day, woke me up to the awareness that I’d gone through the day ‘doing’ rather than ‘living’. As I reflected back on the day, I understood that my experiencing being tired was due in large part to this lack of awareness. Snuggling in to that awareness, I experienced a great night’s sleep.

I awoke with the crystal clear intention to ‘live’ this day. To be aware as I built the morning fire, engaged in my morning quiet time, walked Luke, prepared our breakfast, and circled back to address the issue that didn’t reach resolution in my ‘doing’ of the day before.

I noticed thoughts about what had happened yesterday continued to pop in along with what I thought my response was going to be. One by one, I set them aside (or at the very least made the attempt) and lived in gratitude for what was before me in the moment, be it the cozy fire, an inspiring quote, snowy morning air, Luke, or breakfast (I really tasted each bite of the egg, onion and spinach; the sausage as well as the whole grain toast!)

I set this intention because I realized that in ‘doing’ life, I ended the day tired and dissatisfied despite having ‘done’ many things. This became obvious when at day’s end after a nice long shower, I was drying my hair, stewing about the day, and suddenly the bathroom went dark, the dryer off. I burst out laughing at the humor of the Universe as I realized that I’d forgotten to turn off the electric heater. I had indeed blown a circuit in my approach to the day.

I became aware of opportunities missed to notice how ALL of me was feeling about how I was going through the day. I suspect there were many clues that may have guided me on a different path than the one that ended as it did. And, I became aware that in ‘doing’ I missed the sense of enjoyment and gratitude for each of my daily routines.

Today, I’m ‘living’ the actions that need to be taken with the issue that arose yesterday. I’m betting that the resolution will flow easily and that at day’s end, I’ll have the best reward of all – a sense of personal satisfaction.

Invitation for the Week: Explore whether you are living in awareness or simply doing your way through each day.

Managing Our Stories

"No matter what the lips may be saying, the inner thought outspeaks them, and the unspoken word often carries more weight than the spoken." - Ernest Holmes – The Science of Mind

This week I discovered (much to my chagrin) I have some distance to go to manage the stories I manufacture about others and events that waste my energy. You know the stories that I refer to. They’re the ones that become like that catchy tune you find yourself singing in your head.

I don’t know about you, but when I feel totally justified in my position, I don’t easily let it go. In my head, I tell the world what a jerk someone was. And, I tell him (or her) off, citing how stupid (or some variation thereof) they’ve been. I need a ‘no trespassing’ sign for my thoughts!

On some level there must be a perceived payoff. Perhaps it’s a twisted version confirming just how smart I am. Ha! Yep, I’m so smart that I’m allowing another to occupy the sacred space of my being. And, the cost of that occupation is huge, wasting my time and my energy focusing on a past event that I can’t change. Or, worse projecting into the future how I might ‘get even’ or ‘show them’. Ugh!

What I realized this week (duh!) is that when I throw away my present, my essence goes right along with it. When I’m holding on to one of those stories, I’m not being who I was designed to be. I’m not deeply connected to nature’s beauty when the static of a story is playing in the background. I’m not attentive to whatever task is at hand. I’m not really focused on the present conversation with someone else or to what I’m reading. Most of all, I’m not present to me.

And, the atmosphere I create is not the atmosphere I want to live in. Growth whether personally or in the garden requires nurturing, patience and time. These onions planted along with carrot, beet, turnip and other seeds reached their harvest time just this week.

I’m grateful for the person and event that sparked this deeper awareness of something that I’ve known for a long while. And, for my willingness to notice both how far I’ve come and that there is still some road to travel. Now, back to nature and the presence she deserves!

Exploration for the Week:  What stories (or songs) are replaying in your head?  Are they supporting you or do they need to be banished?