Breaking Out of Habits

Dawn in the Sacred Sangres

The mystery and magic of being an individual is to live life in response to the deep call within, the call to become who we were dreamed to be. … Freedom … is the poise of soul at one with a life which honours and engages its creative possibility. John O’Donohue (Beauty: The Invisible Embrace)

Sitting out on the deck as the day began to dawn and walking before the sun rose over the sacred peaks of the Sangres, I broke free of the habitual winter routine this day. It’s transition time here. Pots of geraniums that spent their winter indoors called to move to their summer homes outdoors. Flannel sheets and blankets give way to cooler crisp organic cotton.

I feel deeply the creative possibility in small things: hands in the dirt, listening to birdsong call the day into being, care of Zadie Byrd, care of self, care of and reverence for this place. Listening for and imagining new stories for how life – mine and ours – can unfold. Allowing life to define itself and its facets rather than fitting life into an old story heard throughout my life as the way things are and the way things should be.

John O’Donohue’s words remind me of the beauty of being in the question, the mystery. Listening for  calls from within. Noticing what has my attention, what resonates, what doesn’t. Breaking habits of knowing and needing to know to allow wonder about how the mystery will unfold. Breaking habits of judgement to allow curiosity to discover a possibility for reverence and care.

After a long day with my hands in the dirt, I settled in last evening for a second listening to a recent Charles Eisenstein talk, Staying Sane in the Next Five Years [click here to watch]. I appreciate his thinking, his way of being, his kindred contrarian spirit, especially in this time when, for me, old stories are giving way, dissolving. New stories are on the rise.

The old stories based on half-truths and lies have become so dissonate in me/for me that I can barely follow them. Eisenstein calls this a time between stories. What we need in times of such transition is rest, care, attention to the call within, to what wants to rise, to mystery. We need time to grieve what seems lost so that we can hear clearly what wants to rise and what our part in that rising is. We need to break habits that tie us to the old. We need to let go. We need to call on grace.

And when we do, what new stories can rise? I envision new stories based on ancient truths of who we are, who we BE as humans in the web of life on this precious planet, a mere dot in the vast cosmos. Stories weaving new threads in existing webs of natural connection. Stories that hold reverence for ALL life. Stories that receive life. Stories that give.

Such stories are by no means a given. Old stories of control over and separation are trying to maintain our attention and will cleverly continue to endeavor to hold us in their grasp. A new coat of paint on an old story is not a new story, despite its fresh look.

So, this time between stories offers choices to each of us, individually and collectively. What habits must be laid to rest so that authentic new stories, new ways will rise? What stories will rise in us? What timelines will we follow? The answer my friends is in embracing the mystery of life unfolding! Are you in?

Dawn Over the San Luis Valley

New Year, New Stories

Full Moon Spiral

I am a person who constantly is trying to liberate myself from my socialization and the weight of the culture that I was born into . . . so that I can choose in every moment how I want to respond based on my values and care for the whole. Miki Kashtan (8 January 2023 – This Nonviolent Life: Daily Inspiration for Your Nonviolent Journey – Pace e Bene Nonviolence Service)

More and more I’m noticing places where my values, my dreams, my care are at odds with so much what’s brought forward in mainstream culture, so it was no surprise that this daily quote caught my attention. Its declaration of aiming to be at choice about how to respond in every moment based on values touched a resonant chord in me. That very idea itself is liberating.

As I began to explore, I wondered, ‘Do we need to struggle? For me, the language of ‘constantly trying to liberate’ suggests struggle.  Muse sighs and tickles another question or two: On what foundation is our culture built? What’s beneath the surface of our cultural habits and our socialization into that culture?

Stories. And stories about stories. Our stories. Old stories. Accurate stories and those that are not. Stories. Conscious stories. And those of which we are not aware.

I’m no stranger to how stories form our world, the culture, and ingrained habits of living and walking in that culture every day. Or to how our own stories about those stories (yes Muse, MY stories!) form the life we experience and how we experience it. Indeed, The Pivot is replete with stories as was The Zone, its predecessor. And with calls for new stories to create our world anew.

I believe that every thought we think and action we take is based on layers and layers of stories and beliefs, many of which we are aware of and far too many of which have been lost to our awareness. Yet conscious or not they inform our choices, build our world. And they inform our snap reactions, as I was reminded by an experience – and my reaction – this week. (‘Now we’re getting to it!’ encourages Muse.)

Despite a good amount of work and attention to shifting over the years, I discovered that a long-held story that I’m not enough still lingers in layers of my being, popping in at inconvenient times without invitation or conscious choice.

I experienced such a ‘visit’ several days ago when I received results from a recent body scan, a tool intended to provide insight, direction, and support. But rather than seeing my results as they were intended, I reacted as if they were a personal affront, criticism, clear evidence to support the old story that I’m not enough.

I spiraled (‘downward’ notes Muse) for a bit, holding the results as an indicator of something ‘wrong’ in me that needed to be ‘fixed’. It was familiar, if uncomfortable, territory until a different story rose in me. That story invited a different view, a view that the results are an invitation, not to fix, but to grow, to learn, to deepen understanding and awareness. I embraced the invitation into new territory or to familiar territory in a new way, opening curiosity about what I might discover. A path of exploration became clear.

New stories. We need them individually and collectively in our chaotic world that is crying for a remodel, a reboot. No current writer/thinker that I’m aware of groks and writes about the importance of stories more cogently than Charles Eisenstein. And, given my experience this week, it’s no surprise that he published an essay a couple days ago outlining his ideas contrasting the old stories of separation with new, emerging stories of interbeing: What is the Next Story? (I encourage you to read or listen here).

With each choice, thought, and action we are following the old or making way for the new, supporting its emergence. I know which path I choose. May my choices be conscious, clear, and consistent with calling forth the new.

New Snow on the Peaks!

I Am That I Am

Sunflower Sea on a Smokey Day in the Sangres

I Am That I Am Exodus 3:14 (King James Version of the Holy Bible)

This week I’ve felt a deepening sense of the truth of unity along with a heightened awareness of how subtle yet rampant the story of separation is imbedded in our culture and, indeed, daily life.

There are the obvious divides perpetrated and perpetuated by media and exploited on all ‘sides’ ‘by profiteering and fundraising using fear of ‘the other’, anything outside of us really, as the primary reason. “Give us your money so we can fight him/her, them, it, etc.” is their constant plea.

I’m pivoting away from giving to such ‘causes’ – even groups and individuals whose views align with mine. Earlier this week I cancelled a small monthly donation to a Congressional candidate because of the onslaught of fundraising emails each of which found a new way to bash the incumbent and proclaimed that I should donate for that reason. No more. Time to pivot. Time to reimagine and create our political system anew.

Continuing a trend that I’ve noticed for quite some time, environmental, natural health, and other organizations that hold positions I agree with seize upon recent disturbing climate and Covid news to ask for donations using fear and the need to fight as the basis for their plea. No more. Time to pivot. Time to dream. Time to create structures and systems that recognize our interconnectedness.

Want my support? Tell me what you dream of creating. Share a bit of your soul. Damn the current system – BE bold in unconventional ways. Hear the deeper longings of humanity to call forth unity. Lead from YOUR heart, not from polls, advisors and others who want you to believe they know the best formula to ‘win’.

Time to recognize that we are each part of a greater whole and that all is in each of us just as we are each in all. I Am That I Am.

Time to sharpen awareness of the choices we make and language we use that perpetuate the separation story in subtle ways we mostly don’t notice. Take, for instance, the term ‘common sense’, a seemingly innocuous term we use share our views and enroll others. I might say, “It’s common sense to drive slowly on wash-boarded, curved dirt roads.” The implication being that those who drive fast lack ‘common sense’, thus separating me from the drivers that I find not just annoying but dangerous. Yet, I Am that driver as surely as I Am me.

When I check in on social media, I see posts using common sense and other such terms to promote their point of view (heck, I’m sure I’ve done so as well) to get vaccinated, eat organic, become vegetarian, invest in gold, … and the list goes on (and on). Most likely there are elements in this musing that separate rather than unify, despite my best effort and intention not to do so. This is what we’ve come to practice: division, separation. It’s time to pivot: calling forth and practicing unity, oneness, the interconnected nature of life. Time to cooperate and co-create.

During a coach training conference some years ago, I participated in an exercise appropriately named ‘I Am That’. (Yes, some of you reading this were there!). The exercise was to be outdoors for a particular amount of time and to notice what attracted my attention. It could be anything – a tree, a bird, grass, a bloom, a car in the parking lot, a bench, etc. Then, looking at it, to declare “I Am That I Am” and to simply BE with that being or object. I recall being deeply moved by a tree (no surprise that I love the woods out back!). As I stood in its presence, I felt the deep connection of being at one with the tree. My core being knew it was so.

Amidst the discord and divisiveness present in our world, I’m adopting the exercise as a new practice. I long to feel that deep connection more consistently. I long to hear the tree, the land, Zadie Byrd, the planet on which I walk, friends, and associates, as well as those with whom I’m not aligned in a way that reminds me “I Am That I Am”. I have a hunch this practice can move you/me/us in that direction as well as supporting our navigation, individually and collectively, through the mine fields of these current times.

What is your heart yearning for? What ideas and practices do you employ to honor your heart’s yearning?

Smoke Clears - A Blue Sky Sunset with Beautiful Clouds Begins

Pivoting To the Language of Peace

Stairway to Heaven - The Ziggurat

One of the key words Gandhi used in expressing the meaning of nonviolence was ahimsa, literally ‘non-harm,’ the refusal to hurt others. It's the rock bottom of nonviolence. A second key word was satyagraha (a combination of the words for ‘truth’ and ‘holding firmly’) sometimes called ‘truth force,’ holding on to what is true and good, striving to bring about more humane conditions for people and society. King called it ‘soul force.’ Dr. Gerard Vanderhaar (daily quote for June 3, 2020 This Nonviolent Life – Daily Inspiration for Your Nonviolent Journey, Pace e Bene Nonviolence Service - https://paceebene.org/

I feel my ‘inner radical’ waking up, emerging as something both new and familiar. Not to re-engage in the political activism of my distant past (that system is broken, yet, until we change it, that IS the system), but to call forth the shifts and changes needed, individually and collectively, to bring new collaborative, cooperative systems forth.

Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me … let this be the moment now (Sy Miller and Jill Jackson Miller – 1955)

Words seem inadequate to express the depth of sadness and grief I’ve felt this week witnessing the discord and rage playing out across the United States. Sadly, I’ve seen it before both here and abroad.

Likewise, words don’t seem up to the task of lifting us out of the morass to a view above the fray. Above the fray we can imagine a different world: a world of peace; of harmony, of beauty and joy; of love. A world of understanding that we are one. A world where justice is not a system, but a way of being. A world in which ‘ahimsa’ is our way of life. Let this be the moment we pivot to peace.

Yet it is with words that we create our world. Our words beget action. The dissonance and outrage being lived out today stems, in part, from our failure to use words wisely, thoughtfully, with awareness and care. Rather than words of peace and nonviolence, we humans have declared ‘war’ on most everything: other cultures and countries, disease, poverty, racism and a host of other ills.

Surely by now we understand that war is not the answer no matter what the question. As so-called leaders declare war on each other and incite us to follow, WE must lead with a resounding ‘NO!’ We must render the words of separation, of competition, of violence null and void. We must toss them onto the trash heap of outworn concepts and ‘facts’ that science no longer supports. Separation has defined far too much of the history of humanity. We must weave science and spirit together again in our consciousness as surely as they are wed in the universe.

This is the work of pivoting to a new paradigm in which humanity along with all of nature on our planet can thrive. The work is deep and personal, each of us contributing to a larger collective. Our work is as simple as being thoughtful with each and every post or comment on social media. Gulp! And, simple is not easy. Our work is work of the heart. Commitment, discipline, and consistent awareness are required. Being counter to much of our culture, using words of peace will require acts of courage, different, yet no less demanding, than engaging in battle.

The world we’ve known with its illusion of separation is falling apart. Rather than putting Humpty Dumpty together again, it is time to pivot to a new story.  Infinite possibility awaits our discovery and calls us forth to weave the world from a place of new understanding and new knowledge, using wisdom past and present to guide us step by step to a culture of peace.

My ‘inner radical’ agrees with author/activist Rivera Sun who declares that radical is the new sensible. As part of my pivot, I’ll be joining some of her summer trainings and offerings (you can find them here). I’ll continue to engage with nature and listen deeply to call forth wisdom from my past and discover what new wisdom emerges at this pivotal moment in time. We can do this. It is our time.

Mountain Morning Majesty

Inviting Curiosity Amidst Chaos

A New Day Dawns - Curious What It Will Bring

You can apply curiosity to all your experiences in life. … Your own life is the parameter of your experience which is your own world. To begin to accept this provides you with the incentive to take responsibility for the power you have over your own world. Gregge Tiffen (Open Secrets: An Air of Optimism – May, 2011)

I started my morning feeling a touch of sadness and worry. I wondered what wanted my attention other than writing this weekly muse. As quickly as I asked, answers came: a strange dream of someone being humiliated publicly (ugh!), concern about Zadie Byrd, a memory of discovering Luke’s tumor about this time last year, and addressing the issue of mice in the house (more ugh!). Nothing earth-shaking or life threatening, just life. Let them go for now.

As I turned my attention to the muse, my first thought was of the world’s chaos and the battles being waged over power, power that is powerless when our agreement is taken away. Underneath the drama of the news, our individual power often lies wasted (to the glee of those “in” power, I imagine).  As we wake up and understand the world anew, any power over us is surely at risk.

As I gaze into the woods out back, I see beyond where I could just 10 days ago. The same is true out front. With the fire mitigation’s removal of undergrowth, I experience openness, an expansion of what’s now visible.

That goes both ways of course. Passersby on the road out front can see more of the Dragonfly House. Mentioning this to a dear colleague earlier this week, she suggested that it is a metaphor for my becoming more authentic and transparent. Now there is something for the muse to chew on for a bit!

The idea surely deserves consideration as I think about building a visual barrier of some sort out front. If my intention is to become more of my true, authentic, soul self, do I want to screen that off? Do I want to limit my ability to see what’s out in the world? My how a single suggestion invites curiosity!

Besides, ‘who am I?’ anyway? Now there’s a question to be curious over!

Asked through the ages, that question is fundamental to understanding our stories and the structures and institutions that we’ve created from those stories. They are imbedded in us, paradigms comprising the so-called ‘reality’ that we walk through each day.

As I gaze out at the world beyond these woods, that ‘reality’ is in chaos. Much of it is crumbling before our eyes, obsolete in the face of new discoveries about our true nature. Yet fighting to hang on. Known. Familiar. Comfortable, even with its discomforts.

We humans do that in life – hang on to habits and ways that no longer serve us. I smoked cigarettes and stayed in a marriage well beyond the time I knew that each was no longer good for me. Even today as I long for and open to a new, unfolding world, my invitation has conditions: I hold on to old habits and ways that are comfortable on some level, even in knowing that they inhibit the new from coming forth.

THIS is what really invites my curiosity! Even in my hesitancy, I invite the unfolding of a new world by exploring. What IS possible in a universe of infinite possibility? What are the worn out, disproven stories that continue to hang on until, with awareness, we stop using them as frameworks for our choices? How do I live in this world, yet withdraw my energy from systems that no longer work (health care, financial, etc. etc.)? I AM curious! You?

When things fall apart, the hopelessly radical becomes common sense. Charles Eisenstein (The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know is Possible)

This week, I invite you to be curious and “hopelessly radical” about the deeply imbedded stories, the paradigms, of our world. What is our responsibility – individually and collectively - for using our personal power to lay the old to rest and invite a new world with new realities into being? How can we make radical the new “common sense”? In short, where will we pivot?

I found this episode of Gregg Braden’s Missing Links series a thought-provoking place to engage in this exploration. I hope you will as well!

Onward! Upward! Pivoting Into the New!

Openness and Expanded Visibility in the Woods Out Back

Life! The Adventure Continues ...

Early Morning Beauty in the Sangres - The Adventure Continues!

Living well is, after all, the most important task that lies before every one of us. Gregge Tiffen (Life in the World Hereafter: The Journey Continues)

Gregge continues: … As most of us go about our everyday lives, what we experience is really more “doing” than it is living. There’s a big difference. In just doing it is impossible for us to know that we are a part of Omnipotent Intelligence. Yet eventually each of us comes to a time when, as a result of events or experiences, we reach out to the Universe – whether we call it God or something else – as the source. When we do, we awaken that part of ourselves that recognizes the fundamentals of life, and we start to feel alive. We then manifest that feeling into action, and that action moves us to embrace the infinitude of the Universe by becoming an aware, living part of that reality.

That “feeling alive” that he speaks of is what I think of as ‘being’. And, most of us are familiar with the ‘doing vs. being’ distinction.  Some suggest that we are either being or doing. I believe however that, whether with awareness or not, we are always in some state of being.

Who am I ‘being’ when I ‘do’? For instance, when I’m engaging in tasks of converting from winter mode to spring/summer mode here at the Dragonfly House, what am I feeling? Am I approaching each task as a burdensome chore that must be done and checked off my list so that I can do something else? Or am I connecting with my gratitude for living here and joyfully engaging in each task as an opportunity for my unique creative expression?

Watching a short video preview posted by Gregg Braden (view it here) I realized (in a ‘duh, of course, moment) that, just as our understanding of death (read last week’s post here) is foundational to our stories, so too is how we define life. Braden shared a common chemistry textbook definition of life: Life is a behavior pattern that chemical systems exhibit when they reach a certain level of complexity. Say what? Sounds classic, brain-based, and very limiting to me.

If I/we accept such a definition (and Webster’s first 10 are in a similar vane!) how likely am I/are we to see daily life as a joyful, adventurous, creative, generative, process? Is it any wonder that our culture finds itself in a morass of confusion and conflict? Our creative power is sucked out of us by such definitions that become prevailing stories in a culture. Ugh!

What’s possible if I/we embrace life as vastly different and far beyond behavior and chemical processes – something that science is rapidly discovering (AND that you won’t see reported in the daily news)? What if life is an infinite continuum – a spiral perhaps – encompassing many dimensions; forms, seen and unseen; formlessness; physical, mental, spiritual planes of existence?

I smile and feel tingles of joy just thinking about expanding our stories in this way. This generative perspective allows new discoveries to create new stories rather than forcing such discoveries into old paradigms.

Isn’t it time for scientific discoveries such as those of the HeartMath Institute to be mainstreamed? The folks at the Institute have been researching the heart/brain connection for almost 30 years, developing tools for creating heart coherence, an important key to health and well-being. Here’s a great offer!

YES! IT IS time for NEW stories, NEW paradigms, NEW systems that honor the adventure that life is intended to be?

A New Story for Zadie Byrd — A Brief Moment Off-Leash