Prelude to The Winter Solstice

Early Morning Greeting from the Moon and Venus

All of heaven and all of earth coordinate at the Winter Solstice. Gregge Tiffen (Winter Solstice: The Christmas Story)

This week amidst a community controversy in which the board that I chair is being challenged, I’ve felt out of sync with the season and out of sorts with myself.  I want to stop. I want to stop not just for a few minutes to catch my breath, center myself and move on to the next task or conversation, but I want to STOP and BE the winter. Quiet. Still. Peaceful.

My time for that will come. I feel her on the horizon. Until then, there are ‘miles to go before I sleep’ in these last days of autumn before that moment when heaven and earth synchronize at the Winter Solstice. I know without a doubt that I will be there.

I know too that I alone am responsible for choosing how I walk through the tasks along those miles. I choose calm, confident, clear, kind as my foundation. These are grounded in love.  My choice is simple; implementation, not always easy. Often when I’m challenged, fear interrupts and invites me to its prickly path of tension, harshness, unkind words spoken and not. Too much of the world is on that path. I don’t want to be a part of that crowd.

And, so I pause. Make time for a long morning walk with Luke to visit a favorite spot along the creek. I ignore the ringing phone and resist the temptation to see what new jab is posted on Facebook. I pick up Gregge’s booklet Winter Solstice. I find this message, perfect to remind me of the choices I can make now and moment to moment, before my time of winter solitude, and beyond winter into the spring:

Prelude*

There is nothing I can give you which you have not got; but there is much, very much, that while I cannot give it, you can take.

No Heaven can come to us, unless our hearts find rest in today.

Take Heaven

No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant.

Take Peace

The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach, is joy. There is radiance and glory in the darkness could we but see, and to see, we have only to look, I beseech you,

Look!

In the quiet there is tranquility. May your life move and radiate in that unity and your heart sing the hymn of peace to all mankind.

And so, at this time I greet you not quite as the world sends greetings, but with profound esteem and with prayer that for now and forever the day breaks, and the shadows flee away.

* Gregge Tiffen (Winter Solstice: The Christmas Story)

A Gift of Love from Cottonwood Creek

Life Flows

A beautiful, soft morning across the San Luis Valley to start my day.

We are part of a natural flow of experiences in which all that we are really doing is allowing ourselves to participate in the flow.  Gregge Tiffen in Deeds are Fruit, Words are Leaves (October, 2008)

Events, many unexpected, seem to show up right on time to benefit me in some way.  I’m learning to trust more deeply that natural flow.  Beneficial events aren’t just those that feel good or bring me pleasure. Especially when I look back, I can clearly see how challenging, unpleasant events brought growth.

I don’t always get to that perspective immediately. When I do, I’m able to meet the event with curiosity, gratitude, and (hopefully) a modicum of grace.  It’s humbling and gratifying to remember that I and I alone choose how to walk through life’s events.

And, so do you. Life flows and we choose how to participate. As I prepared to participate in a somatics course this week (graciously offered by two awesome colleagues and Newfield Network), I was reminded that life flows in all directions. To paraphrase master somatics teacher, Stuart Heller:

Life flows up and Life flows down. Life flows forward and Life flows back. Life flows in and Life flows out. Life flows right and Life flows left.

Stop for a moment and let that sink in.  Better yet, stand up and move in each direction: up, down, forward, back, in, out, left, right.

Life flows out. The course and the flow reminder were just in time for me to demonstrate the power of how we walk (and sit) through life’s events to a coaching client who was trying to figure out how to broach a sensitive topic with a team member. As we explored possibilities, I suggested that she shift how she was sitting. After shifting from sitting on the edge of her chair and leaning forward to occupying the whole seat, leaning back and opening her chest, she discovered a new range of language was possible to engage in the conversation.  

Life flows in. Recently I’ve received several surprise presents that made my heart smile.

Warning signs sometimes flow into life to wake us up.

Life flows down. An issue with my health presented the opportunity to explore the depth of my conviction about my body’s ability to, with proper support, heal itself.  As I scheduled acupuncture appointments, body work, drank my herbs, adjusted my eating habits, I realized a missing ingredient: bringing my belief and my intention consciously and clearly into the process.

Life flows up. So, I’m creating a new practice to engage all of me in the healing process.

Life flows back.  As the bed & breakfast high season winds down and winter is on the horizon, I found myself experiencing some angst about money and completing the ‘get ready for winter’ list of household tasks. I needed to gently guide my thoughts to a track other than worry.

Life flows forward. Within a couple days of putting my attention on remembering that ‘all my needs are met’, I received a phone call from a woman needed temporary housing. We created an agreement that meets both of our financial requirements. In addition, she’s helping with the winter chores (a good thing as temps are dropping and we could be graced with our first snow soon) AND caring for Luke and our home while I travel next week.

Life flows. Stop for a moment and look at the events in your life over the past week. What do you notice?  How do you feel?  How are you meeting life’s flow, especially when its direction may not be exactly what you thought it would be?

Winter's white blanket is edging our way.

The Gift of Resistance (Take 2)

Will there be snow on the peaks tomorrow?

"Challenge your resistance or resist your challenge."

"You become a part of your own excitement when you recognize that you living your life is you being revealed to you." 

Gregge Tiffen [The Great Pumpkin: Was Charlie Brown Right? – October, 2007]

As often happens I didn’t start this post with the idea of busting a meme, yet in a BFO (blinding flash of the obvious) during our morning walk, I saw that indeed I am challenging the conventional wisdom which says that ‘challenging resistance means doing what it is I/you are resisting’.  Au contraire.

Challenging resistance doesn’t necessarily mean doing something I’m having a reaction to, avoiding, or wanting to run away from.  Rather, it means recognizing my reaction as resistance. That requires being aware of and willing to name what I’m experiencing as resistance, followed by questioning to discover the source of that resistance and what gift it has to offer.

Resistance has crossed my path several in several experiences recently. First was the idea that when I declare that I ‘don’t know’ or don’t have access to the information that would guide me to know, I’m resisting. That’s an idea that I’m still working on.

Then, in a course that I signed up for mostly to earn credits toward renewing my coaching credential next year, although I was intrigued by and thought I ‘should’ (ugh!) do it,  I noticed I was reacting to being taught. ‘I already know this’. This doesn’t apply to me, because I’m (blah, blah, blah). Without an intention to learn, I quickly moved to what I might call arrogant boredom. I grumbled my way through the first two lessons, not taking time to be aware that I was resisting and to reflect on that awareness.

I also found myself reacting to a post from someone I follow on social media. As she pontificated on being beyond about how she’d grown and others who hadn’t (blah, blah, blah), I was turned off, tuned out, and I felt made wrong. More ugh! And with those ‘ughs’, I noticed opportunity to explore and reflect.

Enter reading the booklet that’s the source of this week’s quotes.  I paused, took a breath, named and owned my resistance. As I opened, I allowed the resistance to inform me and to guide me to choose again. In one situation, I’m in the process of shifting my resistance to curiosity and exploring how to incorporate the content on my terms. In the other, I’m simply letting go, declaring that there’s no right/wrong, good/bad, rather understanding that my beliefs are not aligned with the ideas being put forth.

Through recognizing and owning my resistance, I gained new insight into me and discovered the gift of challenging resistance: new knowledge; knowledge that is both useful in the moment and becomes wisdom to carry forward on my sojourn – in this life and beyond.

Yes!  Morning brings the season's first dusting on the peaks ... and

A cheerful bluebird that reminds me to smile!

Catch A Falling Leaf

The hills are alive enroute to Cochetopa Pass

Life is an enormous power to be understood and used as energy.  Gregge Tiffen (Open Secrets: Ancient Rituals October, 2011)*

In the last few weeks we’ve experienced a solar eclipse, the autumnal equinox (here in the northern hemisphere), and this week’s spectacular eclipse of the super, harvest moon.  Each event had its own power. Each of us experienced the events in our own way, unique to us and understood at our own level of awareness, knowledge and interest.

As we move into autumn with daylight waning day to day on our way to the quiet, inner time of winter, we approach the season of celebration: harvest festivals and the holy days of many religions.  As the leaves are providing their annual show of fall color, I move into my annual preparation for winter and I’m reminded of the energy of connecting with the earth, her cycles and of rituals that emerged from observation.

In ancient times, holy days were truly holy. The people stopped. They celebrated and, perhaps sometimes recalibrated, to be in sync with the planet. They observed. They interpreted. They sought to understand the energy of events and to use that energy.  It seems that they understood intention and the power of the mind in ways that science today is proving. From their understanding rituals emerged.

Happy dog pausing to pose on the trail ... 'come on Mom!'

A drive high into the mountains to immerse myself in the beauty of the turning leaves reminded me of a ritual that Gregge Tiffen wrote about in the booklet that today’s quote comes from: catching a falling leaf. A falling leaf “represents the goodness of Mother Earth,” thus good luck emanates from catching one before it hits the ground. It is said that in ancient times wise women sent the children out to do just that. The caught leaf is carried until the end of the season and disposed of at the Winter Solstice.

Catching a falling leaf is not as easy as you’d think. My car ‘caught’ one that floated in the window. I have yet to catch mine.

I think of rituals as habits or practices that I do with awareness, intention and a sense of sacredness. We create ritual when we bring purpose and a sense of the sacred into life whether catching a leaf each autumn for good luck or blessing our food daily for gratitude and good health.

The pass -- an historic place to steep in nature's beauty.

A Thought Never Dies

Hints of Fall Begin to Dot the Slopes

Every thought we have and every word we speak goes out into this infinite Universe and stays there. Every thought we have has an effect on us and our planet as well.  Gregge Tiffen [Life in the World Hereafter: The Journey Continues & The Journey Continues: In Search of Wisdom – September 2010]

The above quotes got my attention this morning as they were what my eyes landed on in each of the two books I picked up as I began to muse about today’s post.  I wondered just what the heck they had to do with an event this week that I’ve been reflecting on and guessed that I’d be writing about.

Last week I wrote about the need for forgiveness to forge peace.  Other than questioning the level of my own courage to forgive, my reflections were more global.  Said another way, they were more about the world and others than developing my own capacity to forgive.

As is the way of learning, the issue was brought home to me this week in one of those ‘small events of life’ that generated deep reflection and questioning: a conundrum, as yet with no clear ‘answer’.  An unresolved conflict between what I claim my values to be and choices I make that aren’t aligned with them. I’m grateful for the curiosity which inspires me to explore and want to sort it out.

This idea that a thought never dies that it goes forth into the Universe forever has my attention in this internal conflict.  You see, for all my thoughts of peace breaking out all over the world, I experience being annoyed by and being concerned about the impact on me and my environment by some of nature’s creatures. I call them ‘pests’: mosquitos and mice to name two specifically.

I aim not to give them much energy or attention. But sometimes they demand it.  During mosquito season, my inner killer came forth daily as dozens would follow me or guests in the door. Without much thought I swatted them. Dead.  Months before, after experiencing an infestation of mice that I was unable to control by natural means, I made the difficult decision to use poison.  Unlike mosquito swatting, I made a conscious choice.

I had the awareness that this choice wasn’t aligned with my claim to value non-violence and peace. While it’s been successful in reducing the mouse population, I’ve never been totally at peace.  It isn’t what I want to contribute or how I want to express myself in the world. Every choice is after all an expression of me.  Yet, I rationalize my decision with the success of not hearing mice scurrying in the walls.  

Enter this weekend, a larger creature.  In the dark of the night, it took bites out of every piece of fruit in my two fruit bowls and knocked several items off of the kitchen counter.  Other ‘evidence’ clearly indicated that it wasn’t a mouse. While I was definitely upset, my thoughts didn’t go to ‘kill it’.  And, as I reached out for advice on dealing with the situation, the clearest was to “set a live trap”.   That action was a success, and a rascally young pack rat has been relocated to a remote area several miles away and, hopefully, its point of entry sealed: a small victory for non-violence and for own thought process.

Compassion for the Perpetrator

Although I’m keenly aware that my thinking and my choice contribute to negativity on the planet and to our human propensity toward violence against one another, I’m not at the place of reversing my mouse control decision.  The angst and curiosity of the conundrum will continue at least for a while.

A Beautiful Path for Strolling Contemplation

In League With The Angels

“In effect, negative levels of earth consciousness will contribute to defeating the positive levels of non-physical consciousness. In other words, when we have someone who is nasty or when we get depressed, we are in league with the devil. Gregge Tiffen (Do The Angels Take A Vacation? – August, 2007)”

The simple beauty of early morning's haze.

My coach recently shared the fun she had after a momentary panic when she discovered that her computer had been hacked. She was writing away in the wee hours of the morning when suddenly a message popped up to ‘call this number immediately for assistance’.  She called and after paying a fee for the assistance, realized that she’d been had. Rather than trekking the path most of us would likely choose (anger, fear, etc.), she played along, not letting on that she was onto their scam.  While she was getting her computer repaired by a legitimate techie, she took advantage of the 24/7 help that she’d paid for, and called the scammers with questions at all hours of the night.

When she shared this story, I could hear the lightness in voice and feel it in her spirit. Complete absence of feeling like a victim. Her response was much like I imagine the Dali Lama responds when things don’t go exactly as planned on this path.  It was good for a laugh and a reminder to, if you will, take the high road.  (I don’t know about you, but I need that reminder quite frequently.)

I confess: I’m not there consistently regarding current events in my life.  In the last few weeks as I’ve been immersed in concern for and care of Luke (summer allergies and a weakened system seem to have left him vulnerable to mites or some other canine biting critters); along with leading my community in opposition to a marijuana growing operation in our neighborhood and hosting guests in the B&B’s busiest month of the year, I’ve needed to be vigilant to maintain my positivity.

I don’t do so just for my own sake (although life does flow much more easily when I’m in that place), but also as a contribution to the well-being of our planet. I’ve come to understand that we are always contributing to the atmosphere.  I want contribute positively, especially at this time when positivity seems quite needed.

Stories remind me not to take myself and the events in my life too gravely.  Quiet time for reflection opens me to listen for the guidance ever present no matter what opportunities life presents. Being in nature demonstrates to me that being alive is a process and that change is constant. 

These in turn lead me back to my core conviction that my life (indeed all life) is unfolding perfectly for my (our) learning.  I’m reminded as well that, like my coach, I alone am at the helm, choosing how and where to use my energy each moment, each day.

When I choose with anger and fear, I choose to be the victim, in league with the devil’s negativity. When I choose with compassion, love, and grace I see challenges as opportunities to experiment, to create, to learn and grow. I may even get to express me in some new way.

The world would have us believe that only those who do ‘big’ things make a difference. Not so.  Moment to moment, step by step, choice to choice each of us is contributing to the atmosphere on our dear planet earth.  She needs us to make uplifting, positive choices. How will I contribute today? What about you?

Life Plan Approved!

“To realize Universal reality, we need only open ourselves to our innate, insatiable curiosity to seek the broader knowledge of many things – then to embrace the adventure. Gregge Tiffen (Life in the World Hereafter: The Journey Continues)”

Summer is bursting out all over!

What if each of us had a life plan that was designed solely to provide a learning adventure that would further our growth in consciousness?  What if we had reviewed that plan before our birth?  And (gulp), what if we’d approved it?  Finally, what if our systems (family, spiritual, educational, business, etc.) were set up to support us in remembering and fully living into what we agreed to before we splashed down on the earth for this life?

Fantasy?  Perhaps, but I don’t think so. 

Paradise – a more beautiful world? That’s what I’ve long believed: that we can do better than the current state of life on our planet.  For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt a sense that if we were all doing what we were meant to do and being who we were meant to be, that we would experience a world of peace, joy, abundance, harmony and beauty.  To my last breath I suspect that I will maintain the belief that an intelligent universe created a perfect system despite the messes we’ve brought forth in our ignorance on this planet.

My belief provides a lens through which I can make sense of seemingly senseless events. This bears little to no resemblance of trying to make rational sense of our world or even the events in my life.  And, it definitely does not mean that I understand or condone all that occurs.

Such a perspective on life removes the possibility of seeing myself as a victim in ANY situation (gulp again). The responsibility that entails can bring my knees to go weak and my chest to tighten. At the same time, it’s a huge relief. 

I suggested just that to a client recently. In telling me about a number of situations in her life that she was experiencing as problematic, she concluded, “I didn’t approve any of this!”  After a bit more exploration, I gently posed a question for reflection: “What if you did?”

What if I did?  The first thing that occurred to me as I sat quietly with this question early one morning was how differently I look at events when I remember this lens.  I don’t shift to victim mode. I’m curious about how to use events for my learning. That doesn’t always mean some big life lesson.  It might be as simple as discovering a new way to do a routine task more efficiently or as profound as seeing another person’s perspective without judgement, especially when it’s contrary to mine.

When an event is especially challenging, the idea that I’ve approved it in advance is humbling. I feel supported to call upon the knowledge in my cells to guide my approach. I can let of needing to get it ‘right’ when I remember that my purpose is to learn.  I aim to remember who I truly am.  My compassion for myself and others as they face challenges grows. And, I’m grateful. 

Summer fun and play time with his buddy is in Cool Hand Luke's life plan!

Father Time: Order or Control?

A wise and benevolent father protects the day-by-day life of his progeny and prepares them for an endless journey of growth, development, and maturity.  Gregge Tiffen (Father Time – June 2007)*

Eat When You're Hungry ...

Benevolence, an inclination to do good or be kind, and wisdom having or showing good judgement, are qualities worthy of developing. We tend to think of benevolence as an outward gesture, doing good for others. Recently, I’ve been reading more of Gregge Tiffen’s early work and reflecting on time, the clock and how it is used as a mechanism for manipulation and control.  It led me to think that we might be wise to take a different look at time.

This week, many will honor fathers and father figures for their roles in preparing us for this journey called life.  The benevolent, wise father created context and order in our early life giving us a foundation on which to set sail on our course in life.  For them, we are grateful.

Others lived a different experience: fathers, who lacking wisdom and benevolence, sought to control. For them, with forgiveness, we can also be grateful. And, perhaps that forgiveness can come more easily when we understand that fathers may feel trapped in systems that equate success with control and that honor time over natural instinct and cycles.

Harmony is the essence of nature and natural cycles. As I experiment with living less by the clock and more by awareness of my personal cycles, I feel more harmonious within.  And, I’m discovering that’s not so easy to do in this world.

Rest When You're Weary ...

We use time as a weapon. I found myself doing just that this morning when I called the sign painter to inquire about progress on my Dragonfly House sign that was to be finished a few weeks ago. In a world where systems are built on time, I find it hard to let go and trust that the sign will be ready in divine perfect time.  And yet I know how negatively deadlines impact me. I wonder why it’s difficult to extend that knowing to be compassionate with others about time. Then I realize that I live in the midst of accepted systems where time is used to control and that I’ve bought into them.

We put pressure on ourselves with words and beliefs about scarcity of time (‘I don’t have time …’). Over the years, I’d guess that this has been a concern of over half of my coaching clients, as it has been for me in the past. Some years ago, I broke the habit of using that language and replaced it with ‘I have enough time for everything that is important in my life’. Slowly that became my belief. With practice we can ease the pressure and begin to make choices that honor our natural rhythms – not as a program to complete, but as an exploration of a different way to live, a way that, in my experience, offers much personal satisfaction, harmony, and peace. 

Eat when you’re hungry. Rest when you’re weary. Bloom when you’re ready. That may be the best of benevolence and wisdom in a world that sometimes seems to have lost both.

Bloom When You're Ready ... That's wisdom and the ultimate self-kindness.

Change

Do you see the elephant?

The Universe is going to act upon what you do no matter what it is. Gregge Tiffen (The Language of a Mystic – May, 2009)

I chuckled as I wrote the title of this post when I realized that only four letters are different from last week’s title (Choice).  Sometimes I notice little details like that and they bring me a smile. Simply fun, no meaning attached.  I’m aware this represents a change from my former ‘serious’ self.

Yesterday I received an email ‘request for proposal’ from someone searching an online database for a coach. The individual shared that she wanted “more great clients, more newsletter subscribers, and to lose 15 pounds.” It reminded me of another aspect of my former self and of coaching clients over the years: we want our circumstances to be different, but we don’t want to change.

You’ve likely had some experience in this. At one point in my life I continually said that I wanted to quit smoking. In reality, I wanted to want to. Only when I became clear that my health was more important than the habit did I truly want to quit. And, I did.

In this 5th month of the year, change is in the air and with that change I’m aware of the Universe responding, not necessarily in ways I expect or even that I fully understand.

Some of that awareness is external manifestation. In terms of my most recent business (ad)venture, the Dragonfly House B&B, I expected that my attention to creating inviting, comfy spaces in my home, along with an awesome logo and new business cards would generate business. It has!  I enjoy sharing my home and I tap into that joy as I take on the mundane tasks required for each visitor’s comfort.  I expect the Universe to respond to both my actions and my attitude.

Recent guests prepare for departure.

In my coaching business, I’m experiencing the Universe’s response in unexpected ways, and noticing that Universal timing doesn’t always seem to match my own.  Over the past year I’ve put little attention there other than writing this blog each week and on being present for and giving each client my very best. Lately I’ve been asking the question ‘what’s next in my professional life?’ with no pressure to have an answer. That question is coupled with thoughts about reaching a wider audience. Again, I feel no sense of urgency. I’m simply curious and open.

It seems the Universe has acted upon that as well, providing a forum for me to be interviewed and for ‘The Zone’ to be featured to the audience of a leading coach training organization. YES! (and, yes, I’ll post a link when it’s available!)

Whatever is present in our life is the result of our actions and the Universe’s response. That is the law.  When we change we give the Universe something new to act upon and magnify. With experimentation and practice, we can use the law of cause and effect (karma if you will) to our benefit with awareness, gratitude, and a sense of wonder.

'Come on Mom ... we're almost to my favorite spot!'

Reverence for All Mothers

Mother Nature Nurtures with Spring Snow to Increase Summertime Flow!

Mother Nature, planet Earth, gave us our power, our life, our energy. People who give allegiance to the trees, the wind, the sun recognize that the Earth has acted as a parent. They understand that the planet maintains them.  Gregge Tiffen (Mother Nature)

As Mother’s Day approaches here in the United States and many other countries, Mother Nature is doing some of her best nurturing here in the Colorado Rockies, offering periodic showers of rain in the foothills and new blankets of snow high on the peaks above.  Blessed moisture.

It reminds me of my own mother’s nurturing and love, always there when needed yet never smothering or too much. Marge mirrored nature’s balance and grace in many ways.  Although she departed this life some 36 years ago, I think of her often, always with gratitude and a smile: with reverence.

We would do well to learn more about our mothers. Not just our experience of them, but more deeply how the planet, Mother Nature, calls forth the perfect design of birth and surrounds us with the gentle guidance of how to live. If only we were trained and would take the time to listen. 

As I observe nature and explore energy more closely, some of the hardening of the world’s ways falls away. I soften. And, at the same time, I know that I am stronger from that connection with Mother Earth. She reminds me that at any age I can return to the childlike wonder I see in the pictures of my step-granddaughter who just celebrated her first cycle around the sun. 

As I begin to understand energy and nature more deeply, I find something that I can fully put my trust in. I may not always like her answers, but Mother Nature I can count on.  From that foundation of trust, I can allow my curiosity to run wild. I can tap into the energy of enthusiasm (the god inside). I can feel a sense of personal satisfaction that no one can give me. And, I can be generous with myself and with others.

We honor our mothers in many ways: with calls, cards, flowers and gifts of all sorts.  But perhaps the greatest reverence we can show is to tap into our inner Mother Nature, to expand, to grow, to consciously call upon the source from which our mothers received all that they have given us and from which we too receive all that we need to nurture ourselves, our family, our pets, our community and, indeed, the planet herself. 

So, let everyday be Mother’s Day. Glimpse the joyful flight of a humming bird and hear the whirr of her fast beating wings. Smell the rain. Taste fresh, organic food. Feel the earth under your feet and know that you are loved.

The Coming of the Green!