The Way That Is In You

"Do not compare, do not measure. No other way is like yours. All other ways deceive and tempt you. You must fulfill the way that is in you." - Carl Jung

As I was snuggled in front of the fire several mornings past about to begin my morning reading and quiet time practice, Luke, who had been sleeping at my feet, woke and began to scratch. He's been doing that more than usual,

and it reminded me of a comment that a dog trainer made some time ago about scratching becoming a habit in "OCD dogs".

Remembering her comment triggered a series of thoughts about our cultural habit of diagnosing and labeling behavior that doesn't fit the culture's definition of 'normal' (think ADD, ADHD, OCD, etc.).

I thought about how it seems to me we are trying to create a 'one size fits all' culture that, while it gives lip service to individuality, seeks conformity to some not quite clear definition of "normal". One size hardly fits anyone well. This is what I see when I look at our education system, much of the business and corporate world, and even health care. Learn this. Do this. Take this drug. Don't be different. Conform.

After a few minutes, I put aside that thinking and opened my Science of Mind
magazine to start my daily reading. The quote above greeted me, and I chuckled at the 'coincidence'.

Then as I reflected more deeply, I felt deep gratitude for the path that is uniquely mine and for daring to step out to discover and experiment with how the Universe works.

I'm grateful for those teachers along the way who encourage me. I'm grateful too for those who discourage and need for me to conform. Each provides information and experiences for me to discover more about 'the way that is in me'. I'm grateful for the experiences that I glide through with ease. I'm learning to see those that seem not so easy, even painful, as experiments in discovering and developing 'my way'. And, I'm grateful for them as well.

I'm reminded of Frank Sinatra's hit from my college days, My Way.  I trust I'm nowhere near my 'final curtain', but I aim to be able to sing it with joy and sincerity when I get there. For me, that is yet another way to define success.

Reflection for the Week: How true are you to ‘the way that is in you’?

Choosing Faith Over Fear

"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt (in his first inaugural address – 1933)

We’ve all felt that “nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror” that stops us in our tracks. Sometimes though, fear isn’t so obvious. It creeps into our thoughts as concern and into our words and deeds as we navigate daily life. Perhaps we don’t notice feeling especially fearful, but we find ourselves worrying. That worry can lead us down any number of destructive paths. It blocks us from the creative flow of the Universe.

The antidote is faith. I’m coming to understand more deeply that I respond (or react) to life’s events from one or the other – fear or faith. One brings me joy and curiosity. The other brings stress and pain.

Developing faith first requires us to know what we believe. I personally believe in an abundant, loving Universe that offers a cornucopia of opportunity of all shapes, forms and colors. All that is asked of me is to ask, trust, and step forward to receive.

After we come to understand what we believe (or perhaps even what we think we might or could believe), faith requires consistent practice, bringing our belief into everything, to each event life brings our way. In making this my practice (and in sometimes forgetting to do so) I’ve strengthened my conviction about the nature of the Universe.

This week, I’ve had the opportunity to choose faith rather than stepping into fear when, much to my chagrin, I discovered that I’d made a costly error. I misread the ‘free trial period’ offer for a course that I wanted to try out, and when I called to cancel, I was told that I wouldn’t receive a full refund because I was beyond the trial period. I felt a surge of energy. I paused. I took a breath. I made my case and admitted my error as I talked with a customer service representative and up the chain to his boss. I kept in check what could have easily become fear expressed as anger.

When the conversation ended and after a brief ‘you should have paid more attention’ conversation with myself, I plugged into my belief that the resources I need will come and that being angry would block the flow. I stopped any conversation in my head about ‘them’ or ‘me’. At day’s end an email informed me that ‘voila’ I had a new client, a step on the path to recovering my loss.

This week, I’ve also had the opportunity to observe a community conversation around the budget and proposed fee increases by the agency that provides water and sanitation services. Some residents have expressed concern that increases will continue and they won’t be able to afford to live in the community. As the conversation has unfolded via email to board members (I serve on the board) and on social media, I’ve observed some who engage in angry, inaccurate comments stated as fact. They seem to have no interest in dialog. From my perspective, they are grounded in fear.

Others are concerned, but come forth with questions and curiosity about how we can do this differently. I sense that, while they don’t know the answers, they have faith that we can chart a course that works. Watching this conversation up close and personal and preparing to participate in it when I chair tomorrow’s board meeting, has me wonder ‘what is the world we will create when we choose faith over fear’? I don’t know, but my imagination likes the look and feel of this possibility for myself personally, for my community, and for the planet.

Doing vs. Living

"We progress by experiencing what is happening with our full awareness. We should never go through any condition or event without perceiving the full essence of that experience through our own senses. When was the last time you really tasted a French fry?" - Gregge Tiffen

This quote which comes from an essay I was reading last night, after a tiring day, woke me up to the awareness that I’d gone through the day ‘doing’ rather than ‘living’. As I reflected back on the day, I understood that my experiencing being tired was due in large part to this lack of awareness. Snuggling in to that awareness, I experienced a great night’s sleep.

I awoke with the crystal clear intention to ‘live’ this day. To be aware as I built the morning fire, engaged in my morning quiet time, walked Luke, prepared our breakfast, and circled back to address the issue that didn’t reach resolution in my ‘doing’ of the day before.

I noticed thoughts about what had happened yesterday continued to pop in along with what I thought my response was going to be. One by one, I set them aside (or at the very least made the attempt) and lived in gratitude for what was before me in the moment, be it the cozy fire, an inspiring quote, snowy morning air, Luke, or breakfast (I really tasted each bite of the egg, onion and spinach; the sausage as well as the whole grain toast!)

I set this intention because I realized that in ‘doing’ life, I ended the day tired and dissatisfied despite having ‘done’ many things. This became obvious when at day’s end after a nice long shower, I was drying my hair, stewing about the day, and suddenly the bathroom went dark, the dryer off. I burst out laughing at the humor of the Universe as I realized that I’d forgotten to turn off the electric heater. I had indeed blown a circuit in my approach to the day.

I became aware of opportunities missed to notice how ALL of me was feeling about how I was going through the day. I suspect there were many clues that may have guided me on a different path than the one that ended as it did. And, I became aware that in ‘doing’ I missed the sense of enjoyment and gratitude for each of my daily routines.

Today, I’m ‘living’ the actions that need to be taken with the issue that arose yesterday. I’m betting that the resolution will flow easily and that at day’s end, I’ll have the best reward of all – a sense of personal satisfaction.

Invitation for the Week: Explore whether you are living in awareness or simply doing your way through each day.

Managing Our Stories

"No matter what the lips may be saying, the inner thought outspeaks them, and the unspoken word often carries more weight than the spoken." - Ernest Holmes – The Science of Mind

This week I discovered (much to my chagrin) I have some distance to go to manage the stories I manufacture about others and events that waste my energy. You know the stories that I refer to. They’re the ones that become like that catchy tune you find yourself singing in your head.

I don’t know about you, but when I feel totally justified in my position, I don’t easily let it go. In my head, I tell the world what a jerk someone was. And, I tell him (or her) off, citing how stupid (or some variation thereof) they’ve been. I need a ‘no trespassing’ sign for my thoughts!

On some level there must be a perceived payoff. Perhaps it’s a twisted version confirming just how smart I am. Ha! Yep, I’m so smart that I’m allowing another to occupy the sacred space of my being. And, the cost of that occupation is huge, wasting my time and my energy focusing on a past event that I can’t change. Or, worse projecting into the future how I might ‘get even’ or ‘show them’. Ugh!

What I realized this week (duh!) is that when I throw away my present, my essence goes right along with it. When I’m holding on to one of those stories, I’m not being who I was designed to be. I’m not deeply connected to nature’s beauty when the static of a story is playing in the background. I’m not attentive to whatever task is at hand. I’m not really focused on the present conversation with someone else or to what I’m reading. Most of all, I’m not present to me.

And, the atmosphere I create is not the atmosphere I want to live in. Growth whether personally or in the garden requires nurturing, patience and time. These onions planted along with carrot, beet, turnip and other seeds reached their harvest time just this week.

I’m grateful for the person and event that sparked this deeper awareness of something that I’ve known for a long while. And, for my willingness to notice both how far I’ve come and that there is still some road to travel. Now, back to nature and the presence she deserves!

Exploration for the Week:  What stories (or songs) are replaying in your head?  Are they supporting you or do they need to be banished?

Stack Wood. Carry Rocks.

"Before Enlightenment chop wood carry water, after Enlightenment, chop wood carry water." - Zen Proverb

This week I’ve been stacking wood in preparation for winter and carrying rocks up to the labyrinth I’m building in the woods behind Dragonfly House. Along the way, I discovered what a joy these tasks are when I engage in them mindfully. Yep, duh, smile (we all know this, right?)!

So often when doing such tasks, I find myself immersed in thinking about something else: the project I’m working on that isn’t going like I want it to, the long list of other things I could (or at that moment think I ‘should’) be doing, or who I can get to give me advice about a roof repair. More worry than thinking, if I’m honest. I came to the awareness this week that I was wasting energy, my precious energy. And, perhaps more importantly, I realized that I was depriving myself of joy.

And, so I shifted gears.

The task of hauling rocks up and placing them in the labyrinth, became an exercise in communing with each rock and with the land and the trees of the labyrinth space. As I let go, each rock spoke more clearly than the one before, guiding me where it was to be placed. Some of the rocks placed earlier asked to be moved. I joyfully granted their wish. In the energy of this sacred space, I began to deepen both my connection to all that is AND my independence and freedom as an individual. You might guess that I find this much more rewarding and productive than worry. Pure joy! And, I have a sense of satisfaction not only in completing the work, but also in my approach.

Now, as I’ve go out to stack wood each day, I set aside the projects and decisions around which I feel stuck. I fully engage in the geometric puzzle of stacking wood so that each stack is stable (don’t ask how many I’ve toppled along the way!) and allows air to move and further dry my fuel. More joy and satisfaction!

An added benefit is a sense that the experience has strengthened my patience muscle. As I shift back to those ‘stuck’ projects and decisions in the weeks ahead, I’m guessing that patience will serve me well. And, that they will move forward at just the right time and in just the right direction.

Success comes in many forms and this week, my own personal SuccessZone has been one of discovery and deepened conviction. To joy, satisfaction, and patience, I add gratefulness. Oh, and I didn’t miss a moment of the beauty of the colorful Autumn here in the Rockies!

Invitation for the Week: As you go about some routine task, notice where your thoughts are. Bring them back to you, to the task at hand, and discover what joy you may be missing.

Transition Zones

"We are constantly in a situation of applying the condition of re-adjustment." - Gregge Tiffen

As day breaks this morning, we’re in the path of two colliding weather systems – a winter storm moving in from the north and west, the remnants of a hurricane from the east. The beautiful vistas I often share are hidden in the clouds. These two systems won’t compete. They will simply meet and create our weather for the next couple days. At the moment it’s a gentle rain. The showers could continue, or they could become snow or flash flooding.

It’s a transition time, that time when it can be frosty one morning and 50 degrees the next. It’s a time for completing the harvest on the one hand, preparing for winter on the other. Re-adjustment. We’ve brought in all but the hardiest root veggies and a few winter squash. I’m curious whether the green tomatoes will ripen slowly enough to last until Thanksgiving as they did last year.

Preparing for winter in the mountains means procuring and stacking wood, shifting the summer fire ‘go bags’ (those things that I’d need to survive and those things I treasure in the event of an evacuation due to fire) to the winter ‘emergency travel bag’ (what I need to survive in an emergency on the road), and making sure that I have food and water on hand for at least a couple weeks in the event of a major storm. It also means moving clothes around in the closet – putting away the short sleeves and pulling out the turtlenecks, sweaters and scarves for soon those 50 degree mornings will be just a memory and the frost will be a deep freeze. Re-adjustment continued.

And, after a busy active summer – buying and improving a home along with opening a B&B, I notice an internal transition as well. I feel a pull to draw inward, not to hibernate but to slow down, to assess my ‘year to date’, and, in this time between the full moon lunar eclipse this week and the solar eclipse that will come with the new moon in a couple weeks, to look ahead to what experiences I want to create in the winter months ahead. Re-adjusting from the inside out.

That’s the invitation that the change of seasons (any change really!) brings. So as you don the winter clothes and put away your summer duds (or the reverse, if you happen to be in the southern hemisphere), give yourself the time and attention to invite your soul to join the party. 

What is its longing as light of days shortens and the darkness makes its presence more known?

Create New Stories We Must

"You must unlearn what you have learned." - Yoda

I can imagine Yoda observing our world today and advising us from his deep wisdom to create new stories. You see, our stories come from our thoughts and our beliefs. And, they seem to have a way, consciously or not, of strengthening our beliefs, even those that don’t serve us.

Then, we wake up to find ourselves mired in difficult challenges, worry, or fear and looking outside for the cause. But when we have the courage to look within, we create an opportunity to find the real cause and, if we choose, to shift it.

At this time last year, shortly after I started these weekly posts, in the midst of an unplanned move, I discovered that my phone and internet provider could not provide service to my new location. That situation and how I chose to navigate it deepened my conviction of just how powerful my thoughts are. I have a clearer understanding that the Universe is designed to follow our thoughts and put them into form. I’m unlearning what I have learned and, with my new learning, a new story (okay, a new life) is emerging.

And so it can be, it must be, for all of us – individually and collectively. If you can’t yet feel it in you, then look around to see the call for new stories: 400,000 marching to create a new story for our environment; hundreds of events worldwide calling for non-violent approaches to our differing points of view; and the Findhorn Foundation’s New Story Summit beginning this weekend (you can follow it on Facebook or at http://newstoryhub.com/).

In my work with clients as in my own life, creating awareness of the story is a starting point for making change. Earlier this week I asked a client “what might it be like to take on loving your role as manager?” She’d come to coaching to get clarity about whether she wanted to continue to serve in management. In our coaching, we explored the stories she’d told about herself and about managing. In response to my challenge, she quickly declared “I’m blessed to use my skill and talent and be grateful for it. I can focus on that … and remember the love. It’s so simple.”

Simple, yes, but unlearning what we have learned and reinforcing our new learning daily in our thoughts, language, and our actions is a process that requires diligence, practice, and (one more thing) “PATIENCE YOU MUST HAVE my young padawan.”

Challenge for the Week: Notice a story that you tell in many ways to yourself and to others. What have you created with that story? Is it what you want? What new story can begin to take its place?

Scrambled

"There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen." - Rumi

I’m away from home this week. Still in the beautiful Colorado Rocky Mountains, but attending a conference in at a resort/conference center in northern Colorado.

When I returned to my cozy ‘home away from home’ (a nice little condo with a comfy bed and kitchen so I can have my morning tea) last night, the only word that came to mind about how I felt was ‘scrambled’.   Unlike my life at home, attending the conference puts me in the position of being with people (several hundred) the entire day. You know, breakfast at one of the round tables so big that you have to yell across the table to meet those you are dining with; walking with the crowd from session to session; listening to others speak. Then on to lunch, eating while trying to listen to a fascinating and inspiring speaker. More afternoon sessions, then, finally the opening gala reception with yet more food and great (though loud) music.

Years ago I thrived (or thought that I did) on such events and the hustle, bustle and busyness of life. In no way do I want to make anyone wrong for living that life. And, what is so clear to me after a good night’s sleep, is that it’s no longer my life. If you know me or have been reading these posts over the past year, you may be thinking ‘well, duh, yeah Cindy, no way that’s your life’ (I had the same thought as the light bulb slowly began to glow) but I realized at a deep level that busyness muffles the voice that ‘doesn’t use words’.

Without that voice I am ‘scrambled’. I need my inner compass and whatever time or practice it takes each day to find it. With that awareness and giving myself extra time this morning to be quiet and listen, I can prepare differently and walk back into the conference environment with clarity about why I’m here and what I want to learn to take back to my community with me. Perhaps I won’t attend as many sessions, but I trust that I’ll make the right connections to leave with information, insights and connections to answer the questions I came with. That trust moves me from scrambled to peaceful and ready to navigate the noise of the day.

Reflection for the Week: How do you listen to the voice that doesn’t use words?

Paying Attention

"There is no separation between nature and you. You are to live here with a sense of the planet and you as a vital unit because, in effect, you are that vitality." - Gregge Tiffen [from The Language of a Mystic: Completion available from www.p-systemsinc.com]

What’s your first thought when you look at this picture of Luke and his friends, Mister and EllaBelle? What about their nature calls them to the attention they are paying to my friend on a recent hike in response to her speaking the word ‘treat’?

Although I witnessed the scene first hand from nearby, I didn’t see or sense the rapt attention that I see in the picture. This got me to thinking about what I pay attention to as well the degrees of that attention. The dogs were definitely paying attention to an outside source (i.e. person with treats!), but what is in their nature that prompts this? Is it simply the possibility that a tasty reward is at hand?

It’s no secret that I love nature. I hope that you do too! My love has deepened over the last year as I’ve paid more attention to the beauty that surrounds me. I notice not just the mountain and valley vistas that change with the light day to day, but also the land, the rocks, the trees immediately outside my door. Over the past several weeks, I’ve paid even closer attention to this immediate environment.

I’ve also listened to the land, asking where on the property would be the appropriate place to build a labyrinth. The land answered and this weekend, the layout was completed with sticks and stones cooperating to mark the path. (The attention required to complete the layout is a story for another day.)

Whether you choose to live in a city or in the woods as I do, nature is always present and asking for your attention. Perhaps she has a message. Perhaps she simply needs your acknowledgment and your love. After all you are her vitality. Nature needs you as much as you need and rely on her. And, at the end of the day she will have her way.

Question for the Week: What in nature is calling you to pay attention in a new way?

Adapting Is Our (Response)Ability

"In this planetary school where adaptability is one of the key teaching assignments, making adjustments is a constant demand." - Gregge Tiffen [from The Language of a Mystic: Cycles available from www.p-systemsinc.com]

Throughout this activity-filled month, I’ve had an awareness of how many life changes have come forth in this, the eighth month of the year. It seems that there is something in my life rhythms that calls forth endings and beginnings in August.

One of the biggest changes occurred 35 years ago, August 6, 1979, when my mother died. Two weeks later, my uncle, a fatherly presence for all the years since my own father’s death, died.

With these events, my life suddenly held different opportunities. Looking back, I see now that they presented the opportunity to adapt. How did I want life to be? What would holidays now look like? What changes were needed? What was possible?

Fast forward to August, 2013. Just one year ago the house that I rented (and loved!) for several years was sold, presenting the opportunity to take stock, discern my needs and desires, assess options, choose, adapt, move forward.

Earlier this month yet another new cycle began (this one fully initiated by me!) with the opening of Dragonfly House (website coming soon!!) and the arrival of the first guests to my bed and breakfast retreat home.  A new dance has begun!

I’m discovering that a life worth living is filled with change and opportunities to adapt. Struggle in life comes from trying to keep life and things the same after a change event has occurred.

With every change in life there is choice. Will I step out onto the floor and dance with this change, making the most of every step and crazy turn it may take? Or, will I sit on the sideline, arms crossed over my chest, and miss the moves, those opportunities right there well within my reach?

I choose the dance floor. What about you?

Question for the Week: What change in your life is calling you to the dance floor?