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Inhabiting Loss

Feasting on the Abundance of Pine Nuts …

Pathos is especially present in grief. When someone you love has died, it takes a long time to learn the art of inhabiting the loss. John O’Donohue (Beauty: The Invisible Embrace)

These words from O’Donohue’s essay To Learn How to Inhabit Loss greeted me this morning as I opened a favorite O’Donohue book, wondering about today’s post and how Muse would engage.

The title drew me in. His words drew me deeper. After reading a bit more, I fell into a deep sleep. Waking an hour or so later I felt alone with their beauty and their depth.

Although curious about the relevance, no words rose in me as I picked up my pen and stared at a blank page. It seemed that Muse had stepped aside guiding me to be with the question: How do I inhabit loss?

It isn’t an unfamiliar question, having come up in recent conversations each of which recalled my own journeys in the wake of death – my father’s when I was a teen, mother’s 43 years ago followed by a close uncle two weeks later, beloved canine Cool Hand Luke three years ago, my cousin just two years ago, and of being present with friends as they have danced with loss of beloveds.

Looking back, I see that each taught me something about inhabiting loss, that I was somehow blessed that grief didn’t pull me down, and that I found good and the beauty in each loss. Not only for me but for the departed one. Sometimes I think we forget to consider their perspective. From knowing they are continuing their soul’s journey free of the constraints of the body, free of whatever physical suffering they may have experienced.

While O’Donohue writes about loss in terms of death of someone loved, I wondered about other loss as well. Loss of innocence that comes with facing myths and outright lies in our families and in the history of our countries. Loss of the sense of self as old beliefs, patterns, habits dissolve. The loss of feeling patriotic as I come to understand that our political boundaries are meaningless to our Gaian home. The loss of trust in institutions that once seemed to have our bests interests at their core and that seemed to care. The loss of species, biodiversity, soil health. The list seems infinite.

In this time when so much of the old is dissolving – inside and out, individually and collectively – it seems important to consider how to inhabit our world, acknowledging these losses without clinging to the past while attending to what is rising and that which wants to rise. Calling forth beauty, curiosity, and love to co-create our world anew, I leave you with a bit more O’Donohue wisdom:

Beauty shines with a light from beyond itself. Love is the name of that light. At the heart of beauty must be a huge care and affection for creation, for nowhere is beauty an accidental presence. Nor is beauty simply its own end. It is not self-absorbed but points beyond itself to an embrace of belonging that holds everything together. Yet not everything is beautiful and in a broken world occasions of beauty point to possibilities of providence that lie beneath the surface fragmentation. When we endeavor to view something through the lens of beauty, it is often surprising how much more we can see.

May we look at our world through the lens of beauty. May I!

Prayful Squirrel

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Cycles, Symbols, & Letting Go

Love, Light & Treats - Honoring My ‘Ol Buddy, Ol Pal’ Luke

Cycles produce constant change. Gregge Tiffen (The Language of a Mystic: Cycles  – August, 2009)

This 312th post marks the completion of the sixth annual cycle of sharing these weekly mystical musings, a ritual that is one of the great joys in my life.

This post also marks a new cycle: the first written without the gentle, patient physical presence of my beloved canine companion, Cool Hand Luke Skywalker Reinhardt.  Last Thursday afternoon CHLS rested his head on my lap one last time.

Nature is intimately partnered with us in this physical experience, and that is perhaps the greatest boon of our incarnate existence, as nature is directly connected to and informed by the Universe. … Some of our most endearing partners are our pets. … they are there waiting for us, ready to fulfill our desire to feel all-giving and unconditionally accepting energy. Isn’t that what love is all about? They accept our tears, soothe our angst, and make us laugh. … Animals are here as companions and stabilizers. Having a direct connection to the earth, they serve the important function of being able to ground and stabilize our energies by taking our excess energy and feeding it back into the earth. They – along with plants – absorb a lot of negative energy. As we nurture and care for them, they leave us calmer in the midst of our sometimes chaotic incarnate experience. … When they die, all elements of nature are returned to the nature pool, where their energy can be used for whatever needs to be generated.  Gregge Tiffen (Life in the World Hereafter: The Journey Continues)

In my almost nine years with Luke at my side (or leading the way on a trail through the woods), he demonstrated nature as Gregge describes it. He was (and IS!) one ‘helluva’ teacher.

Leading the Way - One Last Time

Like his human, Luke was private and stoic. When our vet discovered a large growth on his spleen in mid- May, he asked that I share the news sparingly. I honored his request, sharing only with a few close friends (“No mopers!” he directed.) and subtly suggesting that I was facing a ‘personal challenge’ in some recent posts.

Committed to knowing and honoring what Luke wanted, I reached out to Miranda Alcott, the Animal Communications Counselor and medical intuitive who helped us several years back.  (https://mirandaalcott.com/).  Agreeing with our vet’s recommendation, Luke didn’t want to fight with surgery or aggressive treatment. He needed relief, and was open to ‘seeing how alternative treatment would help.’  The protocol was effective, easing his discomfort and increasing his energy. We were blessed to have two and a half months to walk daily, take a few short hikes, play, laugh, and hang out. 

During that time, Luke let me know that maintaining dignity was important to him. Both Miranda and our vet suggested that he would likely ask for help leaving his body before it seemed like the ‘right’ time (little did I know that this is common in dogs, a sign that we humans often miss in our quest to cling for life).  As best I could, I prepared to ‘hear’ and to honor the request when he made it. I was as ready as I could be when he asked to move on to the adventures in the nature pool across the rainbow bridge. Summoning all the conviction and courage I could muster, I wanted to show my love by letting go.  

Nature’s beauty is infinite, but the trail is empty without CHLS.

Symbols serve as a true roadmap to assist us in getting through life with the minimum amount of difficulty and upset. Gregge Tiffen (Do The Angels Take a Vacation? – August, 2007)

Although my heart is heavy, I’m filled with love, peace, joy, and gratitude for the love, lessons, and laughter that we shared in our all too short (at least for me), yet divinely perfect, time together.  And, although this cycle is complete, Luke’s lessons and gifts live on.

After our final ‘goodbye old buddy, old pal’, the dear friend who accompanied us on that final journey and I decided that we needed to eat and ground ourselves for the hour drive back home. We went to a burger stand nearby, ordered burgers, and chose a remote picnic table. As I approached, I noticed something lying on the table and, when I arrived, I found a heart-shaped rock at the place where I planned to sit. LOVE lives! The table was damp, and we blotted it with a paper towel. When we turned it over, we found the image of a paw print. LOVE lives!

Parting is sweet and sacred. Luke is free from pain. And, I’m free from the worry and anticipation of saying goodbye.  The cycle of physical presence is complete. Yet, my learning from Luke continues since, in spirit, there is no end. LOVE lives!

Symbols - LOVE Lives!!!

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All Hallows' Eve - 2018 Edition

Autumn Fades …

Life is an enormous power to be understood and used as energy. Gregge Tiffen (Open Secrets: Ancient Rituals – October, 2011)

This week, as mild autumn weather begins to give way to winter’s cold, I’m shifting my morning quiet/reflection/reading/writing time to the living room where I build and enjoy the warmth of a fire in the woodstove. Such will be my ritual each morning for months, beyond the calendar’s turn to a new year and until winter finally breaks to bring forth spring.

This first musing by the fire finds me thinking about rituals, particularly ancient ones.  I’ve caught my falling leaf for luck (more about that ritual here - http://cindyreinhardt.com/blog/catch-a-falling-leaf). After a day of blessed, gentle rain and with the energy of yesterday’s full moon in Taurus, my attention turns to rituals celebrating the connection between the incarnate and discarnate sides of life on our planet and those who have made the transition from their earthly incarnate form.

All Hallows’ Eve (http://cindyreinhardt.com/blog/all-hallows-eve) was celebrated long before churches existed, and despite religious institutions’ objections, Day of the Dead continues to be celebrated in many forms worldwide. Last year’s award winning animated film Coco beautifully depicts the celebration and family conflicts about it in Mexico. The song ‘Remember Me’ is one of my favorites (you can hear it here  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iDxU9eNQ_0)

Coco and ‘Remember Me’ are reminders of Gregge Tiffen’s teaching that “Each of us is a living spirit. … When you’re dead, you’re not dead. You are very much alive.

In his informative, fun booklet Ancient Rituals Tiffen encourages us to take time to remember those who are no longer with us in their incarnate form and to know that “they are attached to the planet in a discarnate format.” In a world so fearful of death, the knowledge that I’m simply using this form temporarily reminds me that each of us - you, me, and EVERY-one - is but a tiny drop in an infinite universe. And, each drop lives forever.

I find it helpful to remember and honor the connection of close family and friends who have made their transition to the discarnate. Next week on Halloween evening I plan to do just that. Gregge suggests candles, fresh flowers, perhaps something symbolic of your connection, along with quiet time to reflect. He continues, “You’re meant to feel very comfortable about participating with the use of things that are special to you as a way to be in touch with life as you know it and death as you conjure it up to be in your mind, or as you know it from your own experience. Don’t be reluctant to participate.

Perhaps I’ll pour a shot of bourbon for Marge, my beloved mom who left this life 39 years ago.

What about you? Will you take time remember and connect at this sacred time when the veil between this plane and the discarnate invites us to explore and discover the journey that continues?

… and Snow Falls on the Sacred Sangres

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