Staying In Tune With Our Unique Rhythm

Sometimes we play ...

Everyone and everything has a different rhythm.   Conditions become chaotic when you are not in a position to manage the harmonics of your core energy to create.  Gregge Tiffen (The Journey Continues: Time Travels – July, 2010)

As I look back on a fun, whirlwind week with visiting friends and ahead to the many guests scheduled to stay here at the Dragonfly House over the next several weeks, I have a keen awareness of just how different our individual rhythms are. Each of us marches to the beat of our own drummer.  Or, we give our power to others (partners, employers, children, etc.) to set our pace.  We might even use goals or set deadlines that are contrary to our natural rhythm in an effort to be ‘productive’.

Learning my rhythm continues to be a big part of my life experiment and experience. Although the learning never stops, I’d say that I do a pretty good job of honoring my natural rhythm as I understand it. I think that my greatest learning is doing so with grace (or at least a modicum thereof).

None of us live in isolation. Our lives require coordination with others and with their unique rhythms and commitments.  Perhaps it’s no wonder that there is so much chaos and discordance in our world. It makes me wonder:

What if one of the keys to personal (and, therefore, planetary) peace is to learn to maintain our rhythm while allowing others with whom we live, work, and play to do the same?

The simplicity of this idea draws me inward. Looking back for just a moment, I notice how testy and demanding I become when I’m feel that staying in my rhythm is threatened. I have little room for grace.

A deep breath and a spark of curiosity open the door for wondering how I might engage with others by putting rhythm on the table as a part of the conversation. It seems to me that doing so would create an environment that is much friendlier, one where grace might show up naturally with ease.  I think it will take some experimentation and lots of practice to master maintaining my rhythm with grace.

And, the resulting personal peace will be well worth the effort. 

After thousands of years of war, perhaps learning to step into our own rhythm with grace may contribute one small step toward creating not just a peaceful personal life, but peace on the planet as well.

Other times we rest.

Life Plan Approved!

“To realize Universal reality, we need only open ourselves to our innate, insatiable curiosity to seek the broader knowledge of many things – then to embrace the adventure. Gregge Tiffen (Life in the World Hereafter: The Journey Continues)”

Summer is bursting out all over!

What if each of us had a life plan that was designed solely to provide a learning adventure that would further our growth in consciousness?  What if we had reviewed that plan before our birth?  And (gulp), what if we’d approved it?  Finally, what if our systems (family, spiritual, educational, business, etc.) were set up to support us in remembering and fully living into what we agreed to before we splashed down on the earth for this life?

Fantasy?  Perhaps, but I don’t think so. 

Paradise – a more beautiful world? That’s what I’ve long believed: that we can do better than the current state of life on our planet.  For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt a sense that if we were all doing what we were meant to do and being who we were meant to be, that we would experience a world of peace, joy, abundance, harmony and beauty.  To my last breath I suspect that I will maintain the belief that an intelligent universe created a perfect system despite the messes we’ve brought forth in our ignorance on this planet.

My belief provides a lens through which I can make sense of seemingly senseless events. This bears little to no resemblance of trying to make rational sense of our world or even the events in my life.  And, it definitely does not mean that I understand or condone all that occurs.

Such a perspective on life removes the possibility of seeing myself as a victim in ANY situation (gulp again). The responsibility that entails can bring my knees to go weak and my chest to tighten. At the same time, it’s a huge relief. 

I suggested just that to a client recently. In telling me about a number of situations in her life that she was experiencing as problematic, she concluded, “I didn’t approve any of this!”  After a bit more exploration, I gently posed a question for reflection: “What if you did?”

What if I did?  The first thing that occurred to me as I sat quietly with this question early one morning was how differently I look at events when I remember this lens.  I don’t shift to victim mode. I’m curious about how to use events for my learning. That doesn’t always mean some big life lesson.  It might be as simple as discovering a new way to do a routine task more efficiently or as profound as seeing another person’s perspective without judgement, especially when it’s contrary to mine.

When an event is especially challenging, the idea that I’ve approved it in advance is humbling. I feel supported to call upon the knowledge in my cells to guide my approach. I can let of needing to get it ‘right’ when I remember that my purpose is to learn.  I aim to remember who I truly am.  My compassion for myself and others as they face challenges grows. And, I’m grateful. 

Summer fun and play time with his buddy is in Cool Hand Luke's life plan!

Change

Do you see the elephant?

The Universe is going to act upon what you do no matter what it is. Gregge Tiffen (The Language of a Mystic – May, 2009)

I chuckled as I wrote the title of this post when I realized that only four letters are different from last week’s title (Choice).  Sometimes I notice little details like that and they bring me a smile. Simply fun, no meaning attached.  I’m aware this represents a change from my former ‘serious’ self.

Yesterday I received an email ‘request for proposal’ from someone searching an online database for a coach. The individual shared that she wanted “more great clients, more newsletter subscribers, and to lose 15 pounds.” It reminded me of another aspect of my former self and of coaching clients over the years: we want our circumstances to be different, but we don’t want to change.

You’ve likely had some experience in this. At one point in my life I continually said that I wanted to quit smoking. In reality, I wanted to want to. Only when I became clear that my health was more important than the habit did I truly want to quit. And, I did.

In this 5th month of the year, change is in the air and with that change I’m aware of the Universe responding, not necessarily in ways I expect or even that I fully understand.

Some of that awareness is external manifestation. In terms of my most recent business (ad)venture, the Dragonfly House B&B, I expected that my attention to creating inviting, comfy spaces in my home, along with an awesome logo and new business cards would generate business. It has!  I enjoy sharing my home and I tap into that joy as I take on the mundane tasks required for each visitor’s comfort.  I expect the Universe to respond to both my actions and my attitude.

Recent guests prepare for departure.

In my coaching business, I’m experiencing the Universe’s response in unexpected ways, and noticing that Universal timing doesn’t always seem to match my own.  Over the past year I’ve put little attention there other than writing this blog each week and on being present for and giving each client my very best. Lately I’ve been asking the question ‘what’s next in my professional life?’ with no pressure to have an answer. That question is coupled with thoughts about reaching a wider audience. Again, I feel no sense of urgency. I’m simply curious and open.

It seems the Universe has acted upon that as well, providing a forum for me to be interviewed and for ‘The Zone’ to be featured to the audience of a leading coach training organization. YES! (and, yes, I’ll post a link when it’s available!)

Whatever is present in our life is the result of our actions and the Universe’s response. That is the law.  When we change we give the Universe something new to act upon and magnify. With experimentation and practice, we can use the law of cause and effect (karma if you will) to our benefit with awareness, gratitude, and a sense of wonder.

'Come on Mom ... we're almost to my favorite spot!'

Self-Belief Revisited

Strong self-belief helps us weather life's storms with ease and grace ...

The Universe doesn’t make ninnies. Gregge Tiffen (Tax Time: Are You Taxing Yourself?)

 About this time last year, I penned a blog post inspired by two important people in my life: my amazing stepson who had just written a short post about unconditional love on Facebook and my coach who proposed the idea that self-belief “provides the freedom for individuals to acknowledge one another’s beliefs without interference”.  In my reflection, the two wove together creating the idea that “self-belief is the foundation for love”. (You can see that post here: cindyreinhardt.com/blog/self-belief-is-the-foundation-for-love).  And, I wrote about its relationship to personal peace earlier this year (cindyreinhardt.com/blog/the-gift-of-self-belief).

This week as I was preparing for an interview, last year’s post caught my eye. It led me to take time to review Gregge Tiffen’s writing on the subject and to look at my own self-belief. 

I started with a fundamental question:  What do you believe? Then, as I reflected a bit, a distinction began to emerge: What is the foundation of your beliefs? Are they grounded in what you do or in what you are?  I sensed a clear difference.

If beliefs are grounded in what you do, you will likely find yourself continually pressured to do in order to ‘prove’ your worth.  Most of us know this first hand. We’ve ‘been there/done that’ and we live in a culture that seems to call us to stay on this treadmill.  We do, do, do and, yet, make little progress other than checking things off of our ‘to do’ list. Standards and expectations constantly change so we are forever ‘doing’ just to feel like we are keeping up.

On the other hand, what do you believe about what you are?  Over the past year of changes, I’ve deepened my belief in and understanding that we live a benevolent Universe as beloved children of that Universe.  (Yes, I am loved. I need do nothing to prove it. And, the same is true for you!)  In his writings about self-belief, Gregge shares that we are created in the image of the Universe as “strong, dependable, creative, self-assured, intelligent, harmonious, complete.”  Nothing (NO thing) needs to be added.

These qualities reside in every cell of our body. We OWN our cells and part of our learning is to discover how to direct them.  If you are reading this post, you are alive. You have navigated the valleys and challenges of life by doing just this, perhaps with little or no awareness, but with a level of determination and conviction that got you through.

With this awareness we can embrace these many victories and allow them to nurture our self-belief. Yet, all too often we see a list of qualities like this and stories about how we fall short crop up in abundance drowning out any urge to celebrate. Our job is to stop such stories in their tracks.  We do so by remembering both what we are and that ‘the Universe doesn’t make ninnies.’

I believe that it is here in our self-belief that we make real progress in life. In self-belief we find success, security and all those things that we have struggled to acquire. We struggled because we looked outside ourselves (our cells) for what truly is an inside job.

... And, to not take ourselves too seriously. (Mom, can we go play now?)

ASK! Don't Tell.

A spring storm, like a dusty corner, brings gifts to life.

Only you can truly know you. Me

As a coach, I’m trained to ask and to listen. Then to ask again, giving my client the space and structure to discover the approach, the answer, the insight that only they can divine. The ‘ah ha’ moments that has brought over the years are rich, exciting and a large part of the satisfaction my work has given me.

Asking not telling is an approach that’s also aligned with what I know metaphysically: only you can truly know you. It’s a powerful way of relating to others not just to clients or customers. Asking creates openings where ‘telling’ or ‘being told’ closes doors (I know. I dislike being told – sometimes even when I’ve first asked to be.)

Of course, we all know this. But, this week, I discovered places where I’m not using what I know. I noticed that I was using a different approach in conversations where I was wearing my ‘community leader’ hat.  The awareness came as I reflected on several conversations from which I’d come away feeling restless, dissatisfied, bummed.

As many reflections do, it started with ‘them’: if only they would … (I’m guessing you’re familiar with this reflection).

Then, as I went a little deeper, I saw that rather than starting with my natural care and curiosity to create spaciousness in the conversation, I was starting with ‘I know. Let me tell you.’  I was assuming (we all know about ass-u-me) – not consciously of course – that I was being told something in order to solicit my opinion. I was using the conversation not as a place for exploration, but as a place for telling what I (think that) I know. 

As the place where much of our learning starts, let’s just say that ‘it wasn’t pretty’.  It was a dark, dusty corner asking for the light of attention: the light of bringing my caring, curious self to these community conversations and of using my ‘knowing self’ much more selectively.

I noticed something else as well. I’ve come to a place in life where I can identify these dark, dusty corners without the guilt and beating myself up for not being the perfect, caring, curious me.  I like discovering those dark, dusty corners. They represent where new learning begins. And, in a Universe meant for learning, that’s a great measure of success.

Blanca Peak showing off her fresh spring snow on a clear, crisp spring morning.

Life's Knots

Springtime In the Rockies!

Every knot was once a straight rope. Gregge Tiffen

Sometimes, especially when we’re surprised by an unexpected challenge, we go negative. Fear and worry set in.  We may find it difficult to sleep. Our focus stays fixed on the problem and our fear that we don’t know what to do.   On some level we all know better.  But our ability to tap into that knowing is blocked by our negativity.

It’s at these times that Gregge’s metaphor of the knot once being a straight rope reminds me of another of his truisms: “There is always an answer.”  Ahhh … breathe that in for a moment. There is always an answer.  (Rinse. Repeat.)

I’m taking a bit of a turn this week to share a process that I discovered from reading a transcript of a lecture that Gregge offered over 30 years ago. The context of the lecture is health and strength of the cells.  He says, “The argument for good health in terms of cellular strength is the argument that says you cannot be affected by the negative to any degree as long as the cells are healthy because they will not sustain this negative flow going through. The cells will reject the information and turn it into a positive form.”

So, my health is a critical factor in how I respond to life, in particular my ability to access beliefs like ‘there is always an answer’ when the pressure is on.  As I read on, just beginning to scratch the surface of this obvious yet potentially life changing idea, Gregge offered this simple three step process for clearing the system of the toxicity of worry:

1.      Run around the block – Exert yourself to the point of huffing and puffing to “clear the blood and strengthen the cells”.  Put your attention on that intention: clearing the negativity rather than on the knot that you need to untie.

2.      Drink lots of water – Drink lots of water to “flush and neutralize the system”.

3.      Go to bed – sleep. And, if tomorrow finds you still anxious and worried rather than able to face the knot, repeat the process.  I believe that Einstein once said that he solved many problems by taking a nap.

This is contrary to much of our learning and the habits that we’ve developed. We believe that we need to focus on the problem and worry over it until it is solved.  We put tremendous pressure on ourselves (our cells) to do just that.  As I discover more and more, I see just how high the cost of that pressure is: our good health.

Thankfully, I’m not faced with a big life knot right now. And that seems like a good time to start a new practice: shifting the intention and focus of my exercise, water intake, and rest to strengthening myself (my cells) for the time when just such a knot will appear. 

Worthy of Reverence

"The body is the only thing you own. It’s the only thing you have a total right to work on. It’s the only thing that will bring you absolute results without any other outside addition. There’s nothing you can name that will do that." - Gregge Tiffen in Open Secrets: The Hidden Worth of New Wealth (http://www.p-systemsinc.com/publications.htm)

Inspired by reading more of Gregge Tiffen’s work, yesterday morning I woke to being curious about my body, so I decided, just for the day, to pay attention to what I ask of it. The first 10 minutes alone set the stage for a day of wonder and the emergence of deep reverence and gratitude.

I promise this post isn’t a biology lesson (my least favorite subject in school and one I came close to flunking), but along the way, my curiosity led me to look up a few facts. I learned that the body has approximately 640 muscles (though there is some debate about the exact number) and 206 bones (208 if you count the sternum as three). Those count for only a portion of the billions (some say trillions) of cells that make up each physical body on the planet.

Scientific fact aside, I came to a deeper awareness of my body as an awe-inspiring creation in terms of what it is capable of: movement, food processing, sight, taste, touch, speaking, hearing (just to list a few!). Can even the most complex of man’s creations come close to that? To add to the wonder, each of us has one of these amazing creations. It is ours, and ours alone, to use.

Just how much I take my body for granted began to come clear by the time my first foot touched the floor when I got out of bed. By that time I’d directed my body to open eyes; stretch each arm, leg, and my torso; sit up; swing legs over the side of the bed. Then, to stand, to take a step, and another, and …

Ten minutes or so later having brushed my teeth, built a fire, made a cup of tea and settled into my morning quiet time, the wonder was building. I looked at my hands in awe of their role in my life. I thought of my little feet and their ability to hold me upright as I move through the day. Although I don’t to push my body to athletic limits, I do demand that it move through each day’s events. Some days – like those when I was schlepping rocks up to the labyrinth site, shoveling snow, or hiking high up in the mountains – I ask more than others. With only a rare groan, my body complies.

My experiment yesterday brought me to a place of deeper appreciation, reverence, and gratitude for this body and all that it does. It also brought a sense of deepened responsibility and possibility: responsibility to care for it in perhaps some new ways, certainly with more awareness, direction and purpose; and possibility for the results that are certain to follow.

Luke's Solstice Gift

“Become totally empty; Quiet the restlessness of the mind; Only then will you witness everything unfolding from emptiness.” - Lao Tzu

My soul has been longing for my body and mind to slow down, stop even, and step into the pace and rhythm of this sacred time of year. That, after all, has been my practice for many years. And, the quiet of the snow blessed woods calls me gently each time I step out the door or look out the window at the beauty.

This year is different though. The world is also calling me to participate: clients wanting a last session of the year, visitors needing lodging here and the Dragonfly House, and key staff changes at the local agency where I serve as President of the Board. And, that doesn’t include a few holiday activities that nurture me – body, mind and spirit.

Something needed to shift and I knew it wasn’t likely to be the world inviting me to stop (or me declining an invitation). I needed to get beyond the either/or [stop and turn off the world OR forego the nurturing of Solstice time] and move to both/and [participate in the opportunities of the events offered by the world AND give myself the gifts of Solstice’ nurturing].

And, no surprise, the amazingly sensitive and awesome teacher in my life provided just the path, hopping onto the couch as I was snuggled in with a cup of tea before beginning the day. No, he didn’t curl up at my feet as he usually does. Rather, he plopped right on my chest (all 60 loving pounds) and fell fast asleep. The choice was clear: seize the moment and use it to honor my soul’s longing OR deny the gift (get up, put a log on the fire, write my blog, etc. etc.).

I seized the moment. For a blissful hour I watched my thoughts conspire to move me into action (or at least into thinking about what I needed to do in the world or how events might unfold) as I simply relaxed on the couch and allowed myself to bathe in gratitude for my life and to feel the unconditional love of the Universe through its messenger of the moment, Cool Hand Luke Skywalker -Texas Ranger.

Luke’s gift was a reminder that life is rarely about the win/loose, either/or choices that we so often allow ourselves to fall victim to. Choices, yes they are the core of our journey. But, when we empty the clutter of thoughts that cloud our clarity we obscure the beauty of that power of choice.

Luke and I wish you the best this season and invite you to take time for you and your soul. We promise that you won’t regret it.

P.S. A Solstice gift for you. Last year on this Thursday before Solstice I wrote about the beauty and blessings of this special time of year when “All of heaven and all of earth coordinate at the Winter Solstice.” Gregge Tiffen*

Winter Solstice is the time of natural transformation, newness that comes forth with or without our awareness. Winter Solstice is the time when our receptivity is heightened in consciousness. Is it any wonder that with fewer hours of daylight, we are drawn inside into our homes, perhaps under the covers, and definitely drawn to be inside ourselves at this time of year?

Choosing Faith Over Fear

"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt (in his first inaugural address – 1933)

We’ve all felt that “nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror” that stops us in our tracks. Sometimes though, fear isn’t so obvious. It creeps into our thoughts as concern and into our words and deeds as we navigate daily life. Perhaps we don’t notice feeling especially fearful, but we find ourselves worrying. That worry can lead us down any number of destructive paths. It blocks us from the creative flow of the Universe.

The antidote is faith. I’m coming to understand more deeply that I respond (or react) to life’s events from one or the other – fear or faith. One brings me joy and curiosity. The other brings stress and pain.

Developing faith first requires us to know what we believe. I personally believe in an abundant, loving Universe that offers a cornucopia of opportunity of all shapes, forms and colors. All that is asked of me is to ask, trust, and step forward to receive.

After we come to understand what we believe (or perhaps even what we think we might or could believe), faith requires consistent practice, bringing our belief into everything, to each event life brings our way. In making this my practice (and in sometimes forgetting to do so) I’ve strengthened my conviction about the nature of the Universe.

This week, I’ve had the opportunity to choose faith rather than stepping into fear when, much to my chagrin, I discovered that I’d made a costly error. I misread the ‘free trial period’ offer for a course that I wanted to try out, and when I called to cancel, I was told that I wouldn’t receive a full refund because I was beyond the trial period. I felt a surge of energy. I paused. I took a breath. I made my case and admitted my error as I talked with a customer service representative and up the chain to his boss. I kept in check what could have easily become fear expressed as anger.

When the conversation ended and after a brief ‘you should have paid more attention’ conversation with myself, I plugged into my belief that the resources I need will come and that being angry would block the flow. I stopped any conversation in my head about ‘them’ or ‘me’. At day’s end an email informed me that ‘voila’ I had a new client, a step on the path to recovering my loss.

This week, I’ve also had the opportunity to observe a community conversation around the budget and proposed fee increases by the agency that provides water and sanitation services. Some residents have expressed concern that increases will continue and they won’t be able to afford to live in the community. As the conversation has unfolded via email to board members (I serve on the board) and on social media, I’ve observed some who engage in angry, inaccurate comments stated as fact. They seem to have no interest in dialog. From my perspective, they are grounded in fear.

Others are concerned, but come forth with questions and curiosity about how we can do this differently. I sense that, while they don’t know the answers, they have faith that we can chart a course that works. Watching this conversation up close and personal and preparing to participate in it when I chair tomorrow’s board meeting, has me wonder ‘what is the world we will create when we choose faith over fear’? I don’t know, but my imagination likes the look and feel of this possibility for myself personally, for my community, and for the planet.

All Hallow's Eve

"Each of us is a living spirit. When you’re dead, you’re not dead. You are very much alive." - Gregge Tiffen

Last week many in our community celebrated the life of a feisty artist who died just a few days shy of her 91st birthday. How her life was celebrated seemed to me to create a bridge between what we know as ‘living’ on this side and what we think of as ‘dead’ on the other. The ceremony itself and the words spoken by family and friends were a beautiful reminder that this body I inhabit is only one small slice in the bigger pie that is my life as a living spirit.

That event and the coming of Halloween on October 31 presented an opportunity to take a look at the nature of life as I understand it and at the messages that surround me in nature, natural billboards that proclaim “life everlasting”.

For me, trees carry this message beautifully in the cycles of the seasons and in what happens when the tree dies. The tree lives on long after its death. It may simply decompose in the forest, providing a rich environment for new tree life to sprout. Or, the dead tree may become firewood, like that I’ve been stacking, ready to break the morning chill.

In the autumn, brilliantly colored leaves that sprouted in spring’s warmth gently fall to the ground. At quick glance, the tree appears dead during the winter. But, it will burst forth again after the snow melts and it is touched by the warmth of the sun.

I believe life is like that on this planet we call home. When, this body is done, I believe that, like the tree, I will live on, continuing to develop, learn and grow. Then at some perfect future point, one that is just right for my learning, another body, another life will come along. And I’ll catch another ride.

This week as I sit by the fire in the quiet beauty of a fading fall, I ask to know more about the other side. I want a glimpse of what life is like beyond the bounds of this body that is, at least for now, my home.