Self-Belief is the Foundation for Love

"Love will conquer all." - Lionel Richie

"The love that conquers all is the choice love. It is the unconditional love." - James Michael Randorff, Unit Leader, Bassist at Seventh Fleet Band & Musician at United States Navy

"Let’s consider that it is self-belief that provides the freedom for individuals to acknowledge one anothers beliefs without interference." - Patrece on behalf of P-Systems (www.P-SystemsInc.com)

These two ideas converged as I reflected on a Facebook post yesterday...

written by my amazing stepson (and soon to be father), wondering to myself ‘just what would make it possible for me to love unconditionally’. I wasn’t thinking so much about loving those close to me (although, like most of us, from time to time I find my love being conditional). I was wondering how I might love those whose views I don’t share, those whose actions harm others (at least as I see it). As I look at this morning, I suppose I was wondering ‘how can I be more loving in all areas of my life?’

Then, I thought about situations that clients have brought to our coaching this week: fear of failing in managing a team with members who act disrespectfully toward one another, a strained family relationship where manipulation trumps all else, a pattern of taking on things not her responsibility and thus creating confusion about what she really wants. What could love bring to those situations? What could be a foundation for developing the capacity to love?

That’s when I realized that self-belief is key. In order to respect another or their views, I need a deep conviction in myself that no matter what ‘they’ do, they cannot endanger that part of me that really matters. What provides the foundation for my capacity to love is my belief in me, my confidence in my capacity to weather any storm and to be the captain of the ship that is my life. If you are reading this you are breathing. And, if you are breathing you have weathered many storms. Acknowledging this track record is the start of building self-belief.

From self-belief comes the capacity to respect and to be curious about another person’s point of view rather than to be fearful of it. From respect and curiosity, new possibilities for conversations and actions are likely to arise. And, it only takes one of us to make the first move.

From self-belief comes relief from the pressure to prove something by taking on what isn’t ours to do.

From self-belief comes the possibility of forgiving those whose actions have harmed us in some way.

From self-belief comes greater possibility for unconditional love and the conversations and actions that will bring forth greater peace in our personal lives and on the planet.

From self-belief comes Luke’s sheer joy at playing in the creek in sub-freezing temperatures, my curiosity to explore and find the balance inherent in rocks,  and the audacity to connect these pics and the message. (And, you thought today’s pics had nothing to do with the topic. Surprise!)

Exploration for the Week:  Notice what situations trigger your to question your belief in you. What belief in you calls out for you to strengthen?

Rock Solid Foundation

"A rock solid foundation is impermeable like rock itself. Each rock has its points of balance and each has a beauty inside that remains unseen until it is unveiled. And, so it is with the foundation on which we build our life." - Cindy Reinhardt

The words ‘rock solid’ have been with me since early yesterday. At some point in the day I realized they were suggesting a focus for this week’s post. Then, thoughts began to flow around having a rock solid foundation in life. What does that mean? How does my foundation measure up?

This morning I awoke, picked up my pen and journal, and I began to write. I wrote a bit about the rocks that bring great beauty to our local landscape. And, about a rock that caught my eye yesterday. It proved to be a perfect piece to add to a rock balancing sculpture that I started last fall (and that survived, hidden beneath the winter snow). I’m a novice at rock balancing, yet when I engage in stacking and balancing, individual rocks seem to call out and guide me to their points of balance.

I give the activity my best shot and let the rocks fall where they may. Whether they stand or fall is not the point. When they stand, I cheer and grab the camera. When they fall, I learn that I didn’t have quite the right point of balance. Each is a success. My confidence builds and my desire to experiment grows. How can that be?

That’s when it struck me that my foundation in life is the internal balance that’s come from developing a strong sense of who I am as an individual point in and part of an infinite and loving Universe. Unlike the rocks, we humans have free will, and in addition to the heavenly host of ‘angels’ that can guide us on our path, we experience a gauntlet of ‘devils’ that would have us choose them as our foundation.

I’ve learned that I stand strong and life flows with more ease when I operate from the inside out, allowing what’s in front of me to show me the point of balance that’s needed. To give each event my best shot and, then, to let the chips fall where they may is a point of balance and strength missing in a world that tells us that force and control are the foundations we should rely upon.

I’m coming to see that my foundation is rock solid. While it may not measure up to the world’s definition of what a foundation should be I conclude it serves me well. And, that’s the measure that counts.

Exploration for the Week: On what (or whose) foundation are you making the choices each day that build your life?

For a very special treat, check out this short video from Rock Shaman, Travis Ruskus:  http://youtu.be/yH17-HajfAk Color me in awe and inspired!

Beauty and the Season's First Bear Tracks

"If we were truly moved by the beauty of the world about us, we would honor the earth in a profound way." - Thomas Berry

What might our world look like if we each ‘honored the earth in a profound way’ as Thomas Berry suggests in his essay, The Earth Community?   What if we could see beauty in everything, like these bear tracks from my morning walk?

My first inclination is to rail more loudly against those whose greed continues to destroy the planet, her natural beauty and gifts. You know who I mean. The frackers, the mountain top removal miners … a very long list. It’s easy to point the finger of blame and to ignore my own choices that contribute to the destruction.

Next I thought about what I believe we should all do: recycle more, create energy from renewable sources, grow and eat organic, purchase recycled products. Again, the list is long. It’s worthy. And, yet it misses the mark of profound that I imagine Berry had in mind when he penned this essay.

I’m aiming for something personal: profound as in great or intense, heartfelt, wise. I’m aiming for expression, deep care for the planet I’m blessed to call home. And, this brings me back to me. ‘How can I honor the earth in a profound way?’

As I look out at the beauty of another blessed spring snow with its life giving moisture, I realize that I can bring consistency and add depth to my gratitude for the earth. I can acknowledge and appreciate not just the beauty that feeds my soul, but the splendor of all that the planet provides to sustain life: air to breathe, water to drink, fuel to warm me and support me in being mobile, food to nourish my body, materials for shelter. Again, the list is long.

As I reconnect with this deeper awareness and as gratitude fills my being, I wonder what changes may come when I practice acknowledging and appreciating the planet for her gifts on a daily basis. Will I discover lifestyle changes not yet seen to reduce my impact on our home? Might new, creative ideas emerge to make an even larger difference? What else is possible from conscious gratitude and appreciation? How might my small, yet profound care contribute to raising consciousness? I look forward discovering what will emerge in the days, weeks, months and years ahead. And, I invite you to join me.

Experiment for the Week: Take 60 seconds each day to feel and express your profound appreciation for the Earth. And take a few minutes more to share your discoveries on the Zone blog.

Facing What Is Changes What Will Be

"The act of running shuts off almost all of one's Universal flow since the body and mind are focused on escape." - Gregge Tiffen

Sometimes in life an event occurs that triggers our flight, fight or freeze response. When we shift into this mode we lose our receptivity to Universal flow.

We forget everything we 'know' about how life really works. We experience losing access to our power, the power that we use easily in course of our normal daily activities. We flee. We blame someone else. Or, perhaps, we ignore the event, hoping it will go away.

Tax time in the United States, the April 15 date on which tax returns and taxes are due, is a time that brings this out for many. And, this year, I had just such an opportunity to step out of my power, when I learned that I'd made an error resulting in a significant tax due. I could ignore it and face the consequences later. I could step into anger at the government for taxing me or at myself for being so stupid. Not good choices I decided.

On the other hand, I could face my mistake, pay the taxman, be grateful for the income, and correct the error to avoid the same situation this time next year. I chose this course, and the results I experienced were nothing short of miraculous! My thinking was clear and I could see several options for meeting the obligation. I reached out to explore the best approach and to ask for help. A gift arrived that covered the amount due. Then, magically other projects that had seemed stalled began to move again. Best of all, I didn't experience the stress so common in our culture around this issue we are blessed with the free will to choose how we face what life presents us. Fight, flight, fear and blame beget results that cause stress, worry, and dis-ease. This approach is rather like imposing a personal emotional tax on ourselves. It makes us rigid and, like the pine above, we may break.

Our other choice is to allow and dance with what is. That's how I imagine that the cheerful mountain bluebirds move through life. When we face and embrace what is with responsibility and gratitude, the form of what comes next is forever changed. We stay in our power, allowing Universal flow to course through and guide us on our path.

Exploration for the Week: Notice where you are taxing yourself by choosing to fight, flee, or freeze from some event in life. Consider choosing differently.

The Gifts of Our Stories

"Through sharing our stories we discover our connections, our unity and our diversity. And, we discover ourselves." - Cindy Reinhardt

We share our stories in many ways: through conversations, writing, the choices we make in life and simply in our habits of being.  Through our stories we discover what connects us as well as what divides us.  In sharing our stories we create opportunities for deeper connection, expanded awareness and peace.

In talking with some people our stories seem naturally connective.  Through them we discover common interests, shared experiences, and passions that reinforce our unity.  When I’m out in the beauty of nature, the story that I hold deepens my sense of being a part of something greater than me.  Even now, looking out the window at falling snow, I feel that unity with all that is.

When we discover mutual interests, it’s easy to engage, building on one discovery to explore what may be possible in the future from our common ground. These are the friendships, partnerships and collaborations that we embrace and build upon.  They are easy gifts to receive, and we can see our unity with humanity in them.

It’s not so easy when we discover interests, views, habits that are divergent from ours.  ‘Ugh! More snow? How can you embrace the beauty in that? It’s spring …’.   ‘How can you ignore the bad things that are happening in the world?’ (I don’t by the way, I simply choose to put my attention elsewhere – but that’s perhaps a story for another day.)

We may walk (or run) the other way, seeking to avoid confrontation with the other or perhaps with ourselves. We may feel threatened at anything which we interpret as a challenge to our perspective.  Yet, these can lead to new awareness.  Therein lies the first and, perhaps most precious, gift.

Another gift is the possibility of stepping beyond the diversity. When we can take a breath and call forth the best within us from a place of curiosity, we have the opportunity to discover there is unity in all that is.  Somewhere, beneath our differences is common ground.

With a commitment to respect others, we have the ingredients for forging new alliances, bridging divides, and healing one more cell of the divisiveness that stands in the way peace, personally and on the planet.  With curiosity and a willingness to step outside our comfort zones, we have another piece to the puzzle of creating peace, internally, ‘me to me’ and externally, ‘me to we’.

After all, isn’t peace one of the greatest gifts there is?

Experiment for the Week:  Observe how you interpret the stories you hear, read, and see. What do you notice?

Cycles End and New Ones Begin

"It takes a period of time (a cycle) for you to recognize what you have learned before you are ready to initiate your new cycle …" - Gregge Tiffen

Cycles are in my thoughts this week as spring has arrived and as I enter the final week of my 63rd year and prepare to launch a new annual cycle in my life.  I feel pulled just a bit in this time between the arrival of spring’s warmth with its pull of new beginnings and my own annual cycle wrapping up with its invitation to reflect and evaluate the experiences of the year.

I’ve been dancing with each this week. I’ve engaged in conversations about getting our garden started as well as participating in conversations about creating a new culture in an organization that I work with. Exciting to be sure, but before I rush into the new, I’m giving myself the time and space to review the year just ending and life to this point.

As a part of that review, I’ve just completed reorganizing materials collected over 34 years of working with two of my guides on this life’s journey, Gregge Tiffen and Patrece. You’ve seen them both quoted here from time to time and you’ll likely see more as I dive back into the rich learning that’s now neatly organized into six giant binders.

Organizing the material in a new way brought forth new awareness, some of it humbling. Questions asked years ago. Answers and possibilities forgotten; opportunities not seized. Reminders of life’s challenges faced with courage or grace; lessons learned and lived.  All are indicators of my progress this life.

In this sacred week of ending another annual cycle, I look forward to several days of review and reflection here amongst the trees and in the shadow of the Sangres. I hold these questions in my heart and mind as take that look back:

• Where am I?
• What have I accomplished?
• What is my progress?
• What do I choose next on my journey of progression?

While these are especially powerful questions to reflect on as one cycle ends and another begins, it occurs to me as I observe the chaos in our world that they are worthy questions at any time and in most any situation.  They create a container within which we can reach the clarity of thought needed to take life’s next step.

As I look ahead to my new year, that is the clarity that I want to bring and to apply in new ways.

The mountain weather conspires to keep me comfortably indoors and inside myself with wind, clouds, snow and rain.

Does life get any better than the joy of learning and experimenting and feeling the deep gratitude for whatever I’m experiencing moment to moment, cycle to cycle?

Question for the Week:  What cycles do you observe and honor in your life?  What richness do they add?

What am I Thinking?

"With every thought we are creating our present experience and planting the seeds for our future." - Cindy Reinhardt

Happy Spring!  Winter in the Rockies continues to slowly cast off her warm, cozy blankets making way for the sun to provide more warmth as the days lengthen.  Small blades of green grass are breaking through the soil.  The pine trees are showing the first signs of what will become pinecones, seeds of future trees, over the next few months.  And, the creeks are beginning to flow, offering one of my favorite mountain sounds.

I awoke this morning a few hours before the official arrival of the new season with the words and melody of Bette Midler in my mind’s ear: Remember in the Winter, far beneath the fallen snow, lies the seed that in the springtime becomes the rose.

Every seed has within it the idea of and blueprint for what it will become. No matter how deep, when the snow melts and the ground warms the rose, the dandelion, and the grasses give us the gift of their new growth.

They are new. Each blade of grass, each yellow dandelion, each branch on the rose represents new growth from the seed within where its journey began.

My thoughts (yours too!), each and every one, are seeds as well.  They are the power that creates what I’m experiencing in this moment and the next and beyond.  They are the power that shapes my future, the experiences I will have, how I will feel, and what I will learn.  That power presents the opportunity and the responsibility to choose wisely.

Thoughts are the seeds of my life.  They are my most powerful and potent creative tool.

As I plan and plant my garden this Spring, I will carefully and lovingly cast out those seeds that would lead me down paths not mine to follow.  I will plant seeds of love, of abundance, of beauty, of light, of harmony and happiness, of joy, of service and generosity, of enterprise and infinite possibilities.  I will plant rows of understanding, action, integrity, learning and growth.  Throughout the garden I will scatter seeds of hardiness, courage, and tenacity those qualities of nature that I think of when I observe a small tree that has broken through the rocky soil and survives with little moisture.  I’ll sprinkle in some seeds of ease, grace and luck.  Anchoring my garden will be trees of justice, idealism, humanitarianism and peace.

A lush, full garden for sure, one that will inspire me daily to be aware of my thoughts and to choose them oh so carefully.

Question for the Week: What seeds are you planting with your thoughts this Spring?

The Gift of Following My Heart (and My Dog)

"… we are born to happiness and fulfillment, but we sometimes get so lost and wrapped up in the everyday events of our lives that our happiness and fulfillment seem rare." - Ted Andrews (Animal Speak)

This morning as is my habit, the camera accompanied Luke and I on our morning walk.  Yesterday, in a bit of a rush, I left it behind.  Most mornings, especially Thursdays when the blog is calling to be posted, we walk a two-mile loop – down the road, turn, up a path to the next road, turn, then back to our road and home.  This morning Luke ignored the turn up the path and continued to follow a path toward the Ziggurat.  At the same time I called for him to come back, I felt a pull to follow his lead and the Ziggurat path, thinking that we’d follow it for a short while then back track to home, but not make the climb to the top.

When I reached to fork where the path veers off to this ‘stairway to heaven’, I veered. I felt a pull to make the climb.  The blog post would come in its time. And, Luke was delighted.  The path makes the climb fairly easy, and the views from the top are spectacular: the Great Sand Dunes to the south, the vast San Luis Valley to the west, Poncha Pass and the Collegiate Peaks to the north, and the stunning Sangre de Cristo Mountains and Crestone Peak to the east.

The views though were only part of the gifts this day.  On the way down, as I was photographing a tree stump, I noticed my shadow below me on another tree. What fun to welcome the sunshine and see myself as the sun came up over the ridge! Shadows, when we allow them to, offer us great gifts of insight and self-understanding. I paused for another few moments of gratitude and appreciation.

The next visual gift was a mountain bluebird who made a rare appearance in a tree top as we reached home.  These beautiful creatures remind us of ‘unassuming confidence and happiness’ according to Ted Andrews. I think of them as cheerful, for that’s the feeling they instill in me.  This gift was especially poignant since yesterday bluebird appeared on the Cheerful Way street sign near my home (and me without my camera!).

But the greatest gift of all is the gift of peace that comes with following my heart. Had I followed our normal path this morning, the post would be very different – no spectacular views, no fun with my shadow, and perhaps no bluebird or deep sense of peace.

Reminder heard – loud and clear. Over and out until next week when we celebrate Spring!

Experiment for the Week: Take a break from your normal paths in life and discover the gifts that await you.

Mastering Energy, Mastering Life

"Your level of energy (consciousness) creates your world each moment." - Bruce D. Schneider

As winter prepares to give way to spring and I prepare to close a cycle in my life’s journey and to begin another, I’ve been reflecting on levels of energy.  I’m reviewing my personal energy, where it’s been this year and what I may want to shift as I embark on a new one.  I’m curious about what my observations of the world tell me about the energy ‘out there’ and how I want to dance in it? This is taking me back to a variety of resources, and, as a result, this week’s post is a bit of a shift.

For all the years (20+ now) I’ve coached, I’ve had some level of understanding about our personal energy.  In the early days of my coaching when most of my clients were old enough to know what a switchboard is, I’d often guide them to unplug from unproductive energy and plug into another, higher level of energy.  In my personal development, I use a number of experiments and practices to shift and maintain my energy at levels that are expansive, constructive, healing.

In the system he developed called Energy Leadership, Dr. Bruce Schneider calls these levels ‘anabolic’, energy that is positive, productive, expansive, and fuels us to move forward.  He contrasts these with ‘catabolic’ energy levels, energy that is draining, contracting, and stressful.  Anabolic energy levels allow us to see more possibilities for innovation and problem solving. Catabolic levels, limit our vision.

At each level of energy (Schneider identifies seven) there is a defining core thought, a core feeling and, corresponding action or result.  Victim is the core thought of the lowest level of energy, with apathy as its core feeling and lethargy as its result.  My awareness of this correlation (victim to apathy and lethargy), helped me identify the source of what at the time I considered as ‘being lazy’.  I was able to identify a couple key behaviors and the beliefs under them that had me visiting the victim level of energy.  With that awareness (and some work!), I was able to shift to a higher level of energy.

At the top of the energy levels is non-judgment with the corresponding feeling of absolute passion and the action or result, creation.  It’s the level of the master of life who has the ability to tap into the other levels as needed.  I aspire to master my energy at this level.  Between these two polarities are remaining five levels: conflict (the second of two catabolic levels), and four anabolic levels: responsibility, concern, reconciliation, and synthesis.

Whether I’m using a contemporary system like Energy Leadership or tapping into wisdom of the ancients from esoteric writings, one thing is clear to me: Mastering my energy is mastering my life.

Experiment for the Week: Observe the levels of energy that you plug into several times each day.  Where among the levels do you find you?

Onward to Spring!

"The fundamental structure of the Universe is one of harmony." - Gregge Tiffen

Although winter may yet make another appearance (or two), here in the Sangre de Cristo mountains signs of spring are beginning to show themselves.  A few mountain bluebirds have returned.  Bucks with their beautiful racks are among the small herds of doe (love is in their air!).  Chipmunks are frolicking and chowing down in the open.  Even a few plants are showing a little green.

As one season ends and another begins, I find it’s a wonderful time to reassess my harmony and to identify what’s needed to bring myself into balance with me, with others, and with the planet.  From that place of discovery and awareness, I can look ahead to the activities of spring.  And, I muse with curiosity – what would my life be like if I attended to this daily.

The questions I ask in that assessment include inquiries about my body (my energy, my weight, overall health, any aches/pains needing attention, etc.), my mind (is my thinking supporting and energizing me or dragging me down?) and my spirit (how do I feel about my life, life in general and my relationship with spirit).   Then, I look at how each discovery relates to the others.

I observed that there is some debris left behind from the recent storm that I need to clear on all three levels.  I’ve started by shifting my thoughts and remembering my power to heal.  I realized that I’ve allowed some scarcity thinking the weasel its way in.  “Out!” I command. Really I do know better and I’m reminded that living abundantly in a culture grounded in the opposite requires diligence.  I also remembered the importance of receiving the healing gift of body work.

Perhaps the most important reminder of all is that life is a school.  I’m here to experiment and learn, not to always ‘get it right’.  When I allow myself to suffer, I’m not looking at an event as a learning opportunity.  When I look at the event as a learning opportunity, the satisfaction of learning soothes and heals any suffering and hurt.

So, bring on spring!  Let me plant new seeds in my garden and my home, in my work, in my community and in my life.  Let me deepen my use of nature as my compass and guide.  Let me participate fully and allow life to unfold as it will, with the deep trust that it is unfolding in perfect harmony.  Let me appreciate every breath I take and my connection to the harmony of Planet Earth.

Experiment for the Week: Set aside some time to inquire and observe body, mind, spirit.  What do you notice?  What needs your attention to prepare you for spring?