Life: Sandbox or Sandpaper?

Robin sings and brings new beginnings of Spring

As willing adults, we are able to trust, be curious, be enthused, be pleased with ourselves, and be fully generous once again. We are able to know and feel and experience the peace, joy, and love creatively produced by Mother Nature as we live in harmony with Her.  Gregge Tiffen (Mother Nature – May, 2007)

I’m feeling my childlike nature come alive as the temperatures warm, the songbirds sing songs of courtship, and the green of new growth appears on the aspens and cottonwoods. The creek is flowing more freely and swiftly, and budding cones are forming on the pines. Will I embrace new growth and life as my sandbox? Or, will I succumb to the dreary news and the ways of the world that grate like sandpaper on my soul?

The bright green of new growth as the snow melts and Cottonwood Creek flows

I have children on my mind and in my heart this week. Up close and personal, my stepson’s daughter is about to celebrate completing her third year on the planet and begin her fourth. We haven’t met yet other than via the wonders of technology, yet she’s always in my heart.  That same heart aches at the suffering we humans have created for one another, especially for the children who face survival early on in life. Surely we can do better. We must.

It is the nature of a child to be trusting, curious, enthusiastic, satisfied with self, and generous. Those childlike ways of being are pure energetic qualities that we each have access to. They are the sandbox of life.

Somewhere along the way sandpaper arrived on the scene. We lost touch with our nature. Someone, maybe many, told us it was time to ‘grow up’ or ‘get serious’. They didn’t understand that life is a sandbox. Education and other systems of the world echoed this sad message.

The curious eyes of Cool Hand Luke trained on a turkey vulture high on a limb stretching to dry its wings

But changing our nature is not the way of nature. In nature there is consistency, nurturing, and growth. From a seed in the ground a tiny sapling pushes through the earth and, through all of its years, fulfills the pattern in its seed. It keeps on being that tree through cycles, weather events, nesting birds and insects who find a home there.

In staying true to its nature, the tree invites us to do likewise – stay true to our nature as trusting, curious, enthusiastic, self-satisfied, generous beings. As humans with consciousness, awareness and free will it is our choice to do so. Or not. Moment to moment, day to day we can develop our capacity to return to the life affirming nature of our childlike ways.

We do so by accepting the care and protection of the Universe and having unwavering trust in that protection. We experiment curiously with life’s events to discover how life works (and, in the process, we discover things that don’t). We expect and allow our curiosity to nurture enthusiasm as we experiment, explore, and, yes, even when things don’t turn out as we aimed for them to. We allow ourselves to be satisfied. Even when we think we’ve fallen short, we trust that we gave it our best shot and that tomorrow will dawn anew. Finally we give what we naturally have to give – a warm smile, a hug, a word of encouragement, a helping hand, a laugh and, oh, so much more.

When we embrace life’s events as a sandbox with everything needed to build castles in the sky, the rub of sandpaper fades away and we move forward in our natural state to create the world, our world, anew.

Spring! A fertile time for bunnies, ideas, and other new growth.

Cheerful Journey Inward

Snowy Trail on the Journey

Let us look to Nature for guidance as our code book for everything we need to know or to understand. Gregge Tiffen (Tax Time: Are You Taxing Yourself? – April, 2007)

I saw my first meadowlark of the season (a Western Meadowlark for those birders among you) on April 1st (no joke!) and heard its song the following morning, a snowy one, on a hike to the Ziggurat. The cheerful song accompanied beautiful views in all directions: the Great Sand Dunes and Blanca Peak to the south, San Juan Mountains to the west, the Collegiate Peaks to the north, and, our home, the Sangre de Cristo Mountains to the east.  The beautiful, vast San Luis Valley floor surrounded us on three sides.  Ah, nature.

The Great Sand Dunes and the vast San Luis Valley

This vastness is in contrast to the woods that surround us here at the Dragonfly House.  Except for a few glimpses of Crestone and Kit Carson Peaks, there’s little indication of the vastness to be seen a short walk away.  Here I see each tree, up close and personal.  I see the unique form each has taken on its journey of life. I see how shape is formed by how much light, space and moisture are available and by storms that have broken or redirected limbs.  I can gaze with contentment on a tree for a very long time, imagining its stories.

Nature speaks deeply and wisely. I wonder how deeply and wisely I’m listening.  Meadowlark reminds me to let the journey inward be a cheerful one (Ted Andrews – Animal Speak).  Much like me, meadowlark lives and stays close to the ground, home, the self.  I’m reminded to not stray too far from that which is my responsibility.

Nature reminds me that in life there is no purpose for complaint, for blame, for competition or comparison. These distractions are created by man. They separate us from our true nature and from nature herself.

I smile knowing that in my humanness I engage in such acts, even though I know that they contribute nothing to my growth or to happiness and joy. They hold no beauty, harmony or love. The smile acknowledges nature’s wisdom so much deeper than my own.  In nature I see acceptance, cooperation, and the unfolding of its blueprint as each seed falls on fertile ground.  Nature has much to teach me.

Again, I wonder how deeply and wisely I’m listening. 

Before my walk this crisp, clear morning, that was the last sentence of this week’s post. But nature held a different plan. She gently reminded me of another attribute: there is no death, no end.  Snow melts or evaporates. That’s a simple change of form. A tree ceases to add new growth and slowly rots, providing housing for many creatures before it crumbles and returns into soil. 

And, so it is with you and with me.  At some point the body ceases to function, and it changes form.  Consciousness, the soul, moves onward as well, just as it has for eons of time, if only we remembered just how long our true journey has been.

Beauty Without End. Amen!

Directing Energy

Sometimes even the 'best good boy' needs to explore the edge ...

And God said, Let there be light; and there was light. Genesis 1:3

You give energy direction. When you focus on something, you magnetize raw energy.  Gregge Tiffen (The Language of a Mystic: Originality - January, 2009)

Continuing the theme started last week (http://cindyreinhardt.com/blog/a-sound-beginning), the Bible as a code for how to operate on our planet, directing energy with awareness and clarity is the means by which we create joy and deep satisfaction in life.  Developing the skill to do so masterfully is perhaps the most powerful learning opportunity of life.

When we direct energy with awareness and clarity, we stay in the driver’s seat and avoid the ‘woe is me’ path of victimhood.  This doesn’t mean things always turn out the way we want. And, for sure, it is not about controlling others or even events.

It is about learning to take and experience life step by step with each step leading to the next.  It is the recognition that I’m always directing energy.  If my experience seems off course, I can choose to be angry, fearful or frustrated or I can choose to reevaluate and redirect the energy available to me.  If I’m feeling that the world is against me and throwing too many obstacles my way, I can take the time to remember that I alone am in charge of me.

As he so often does, my teacher, Cool Hand Luke, provided just such opportunities this week.  I humbly admit that my initial reaction when he disappeared during a morning walk was worry.  Although I was calm, the situation was in control. I was in reactive fear.  So reactive that, without thinking clearly, I walked home  to get the car, returned to the area where we’d been walking and drove down a road that never sees a snow plow in winter. 

Not a good choice, especially in the absence of awareness and clarity and direction.  You’ve probably guessed that I got stuck in a snow bank when I attempted to back out.  In my reactive, doing mode, I hadn’t taken time to give direction to the energy available to me, and I wasn’t paying close attention. 

I see this now, in hindsight.  In that moment, a call to a friend for help provided the reminder that I needed (and a suggestion as to who could get my car out of the pickle I’d created). “You need to be home. Luke knows his way around. He’ll be back. Take some deep breaths.”  And so I did just that. I took a breath. I began to walk home remembering that while I had no control of the outcome, I was in charge of the energy available to me.

I’d like to report that Luke was waiting on the porch by the time I got to the house, but that wasn’t to be.  It was an hour or so before he bounded up the steps (muddy, cold, matted with stickers and a very upset tummy – he apparently had quite an adventure in the snowy woods).  I welcomed him with open arms and a joyful heart. Not a trace of anger emerged in the two hours of tedious clean-up that followed.  In that period of waiting, I made a clear choice.  I let go of the expectations and plans I’d had for the day.  I put my focus on love and care for both of us. 

Just as I finished cleaning Luke up and settled him in his kennel to rest, help with the car arrived. Within a few minutes an easy tow and turnaround had my trusty vehicle back in her berth.  Life had presented me with a day of unplanned opportunities.  It was time for gratitude and a nap.

Although it is simple and in our design as humans on this Planet, mastering directing energy is not a single lesson we learn, but rather a commitment to lifelong learning through practice.  As I learned this week, it starts with simply remembering that the energy is ours to direct.

Great place for a canine adventure!

What Is The Question?

It's beginning to look (and feel) like winter!

When you are not focused on a question and not seeking an answer, you are not living. You are not feeding the planet, and the planet is not feeding you.  Gregge Tiffen (The Language of a Mystic: Universality, November, 2009)

In a world that honors knowing, questions often get a bad rap. We can feel inadequate when we don’t know something, hiding our unknowing by acting as if we do.  I’ve done that and, in doing so, I block the energy, the excitement, the joy and satisfaction of discovery. I block the energetic force of life.

Perhaps in part this is old residue from school days where having the right answer brought cheers, while the wrong answer or, worse yet, no answer at all evoked jeers (or worse).  What if ‘I don’t know, but I’m going to find out’ was seen as the best answer?

The theme of discovery emerged this week amidst finding myself in a post-election funk, having allowed some of the energy of the masses to enter my being. I realized that I’d lost any sense of curiosity and wonder about what is happening in the world.  I forgot my belief that all is unfolding as it should in the universe. ‘It’ seems all wrong and depressing to consider.  

In the thick of the funk, I was aware that when I walk through life’s events with curiosity, I’m energized, engaged, and have the capacity to hold life lightly.  That’s true of even the seemingly insignificant, but necessary, daily tasks in life. 

On the other hand, when I engage with a sense of obligation, my energy quickly fades carrying with it peace, happiness and satisfaction.  And, without a sense of something to be discovered, obligation seems to rule.  In musing about how to cultivate a culture of discovery, the question ‘so, what is the question?’ emerged. Forming a question is key to cultivating wonder and curiosity.

I have some what I consider to be ‘big’ questions. Those are the questions that there’s no quick, easy answer to. Rather, they live and they help me frame the more immediate questions, those learning opportunities that in due time solve the mystery.  I’m curious about what it means to be ‘in the world and not of it’. And, I’m curious how to live that.  I’m curious about universal law and how energy works, more specifically, how can I use the energy of each day more effectively?

When I’m fully aware, these questions guide my choices about what I read, what I participate in and how I do so.  More importantly, they help me cultivate my sense of wonder around life’s daily events where the learning opportunities are ever-present whether I recognize them as such or not. 

There are gems to be uncovered in every choice we make. Questions help me recognize them when I’m willing to ask and then seek to discover. 

What about you? What question will cultivate your sense of wonder today?  Tomorrow?  And, beyond?

Our favorite spot on Cottonwood Creek is putting on its winter cloak.

Going All Out

Going All Out for Halloween!

Waste is the one thing that the Universe does not allow, and to ignore the ‘Great Pumpkin’ of why you are here is a waste. You become part of your own excitement when you recognize that you living your life is you being revealed to you. Now that is productive! Gregge Tiffen (The Great Pumpkin: Was Charlie Brown Right? October, 2007)

I’m away from my normal environment this week, spending time on Colorado’s Front Range in the Boulder/Denver area, a few days in suburbia and a few in the heart of the City. Being away typically stimulates different reflections and new points of awareness. This trip is no different. Among several such points of reflection was noticing the abundance of Halloween decorations on our walks in the neighborhood where I’m visiting a friend.

After an initial snarky judgement (who me?), I found myself curious about the idea of ‘going all out’. Since I generally don’t go all out for decorations, I asked myself just what I’m inspired to go ‘all out’ for.

Ah, the Great Pumpkin of life was inviting my attention, offering the possibility of new awareness from my observations and judgments. Something new was being revealed, a new lens from which to reflect and, perhaps, to make adjustments:

• What does it mean to me to ‘go all out’?
• What do I go all out for in my life?
• What new possibilities offer the opportunity to go all out?

My quick first list included much of how I live my life: my self-care, care for Luke, care for my home, as well as care for my coaching clients, bed & breakfast guests, and friends. Creating this weekly post and my commitment to my personal and spiritual learning and growth are other areas that I identified. Pretty satisfying.

The list led me to realize that, for me, ‘going all out’ is an inside job before it becomes an outside expression. It means bringing forth the best that is in me whatever that is moment to moment, without regard for what I’m doing. It requires that I be clear and harmonious. I need to keep the world’s chaos at bay and maintain balance within.

‘Going all out’ for me means what Gregge calls “attending to our own creativity”, whether I’m engaged in the day to day activities that make up life or in a big creative project. From that perspective, I can ask ‘what do I want to go all out for now, next and I can stay tuned into me to discover just what that will be.  And, that’s a pretty exciting thought to take out for a walk with my friend and our beloved pups on this beautiful, warm autumn day.

Or Maybe I'll Go Play With a Dragon ...

The Humbling Side of Awareness

May All Your Paths Be Paved With Gold!

The whole technique, in terms of living, is the means of being aware, curiously aware and questioningly aware.  Gregge Tiffen (The Language of A Mystic: Innovation, October, 2009)

Being aware brings a great deal of excitement, interest and joy to daily life. It can also bring moments of humbling truth.

In the midst of exploring a gnarly, conflict-filled situation with my coach, she asked a question with implications far beyond the event we were discussing. “Do you need the extremes, the conflict?” she inquired.

The answer in that moment for that event was a clear resounding ‘no’.  Yet, as I suspected, the question had legs and would stay with me as I observed my thoughts and actions afterwards. Over the next several days as I put the event behind me, I was quickly aware of and mostly able to manage judgmental, conflict-oriented thoughts about the situation.  And, I also noticed something else: other thoughts (more that I would like to admit) that engaged the themes of extremes, conflict and judgement.  Ugh! 

Beyond the ‘ugh’, I mustered some curiosity and began to notice even more. Some of my interest in conflict was energizing in a positive way. For example, seeing the extremes in the current Presidential race here in the U.S. can move me into action supporting the views that I believe in.  That kind of engagement is rewarding in terms of self-expression and satisfaction.

But I also noticed a ‘dark’ side, other thought patterns that, while they may energize in the moment, actually drain my energy. These are thoughts that put my attention on others, on comparison, and judgement in a way that creates an atmosphere of conflict where none exists nor is it needed.

Discovering these stories and acknowledging that some offer the illusion that I am ‘better than’ another has been humbling. Seeing that they energize in ways that don’t serve me is a gift of that awareness.

From these discoveries I can release any dependence on this form of conflict to energize me. I can choose when to engage and explore ways to do so in alignment with my true nature. I can notice when these thoughts arise and create different ones. I can experiment and practice; then rinse and repeat.

I can be ‘curiously and questioningly aware’ and THAT is LIVING!

Nature's Beauty Abounds ...

Challenge for the week:  Engage your curiosity and questioning to discover what among your many thought patterns serve you and which ones do not.  Share your discoveries over on the blog site.

Early Morning Light and Beauty with Luke

What's In It For Me?

Autumn in The Rockies

The obligation for each of us is that we must have a sense of doing what we believe is right. Gregge Tiffen (The Journey Continues: In Search of Wisdom – September, 2010)

I’ve been sitting with this wisdom from Gregge for a couple weeks around several opportunities presenting themselves for my consideration. I’ve been asking questions such as ‘what values am I considering as I think about what is ‘right’?  Do I/will I like myself as I engage in this?  What might I learn? How might I grow? And, ultimately ‘what’s in it for me?’

Does the question bring a shudder of judgement suggesting it’s selfish to ask?  It did for me when I was first challenged to consider it.  It’s a very different question than ‘what’s important about this to me?’ and many of the other questions that we ask when making choices both large and small.  Rather than being a selfish question, I’m finding it one that opens me to new discoveries about what motivates me and what I care about. It brings me gently to identify and consider agendas that may be hidden.  It helps me bring clarity to my intentions.  

Rather than being a question that skims the surface merely identifying potential material gain, asking what’s in it for me?  takes me to a deep, reflective place. It helps me define what I need and want as I make choices about where to invest my energy. Discovering this helps me feel a sense of satisfaction at day’s end when I lay my head on the pillow.

As I reflect on the question itself, I sense that it leads me to a more authentic expression me. It keeps me or puts me on paths that best fit my personal design. It brings a sense of ease and flow to life and erases any need for struggle.

Happy biker ... I'm guessing she know 'what's in it for her'.

A Beautiful Fall Day in the Rockies

Learning Is Your Power

Early morning haze as the sun rises to shine on Blanca

The more we empower other people or conditions, the less we use the invested power in ourselves and the less we understand about what we have available. Gregge Tiffen (Pleasure Is Short, Wisdom Is Infinite – May, 2008)

You do know, don’t you, that the Universe invested tremendous power in YOU?  It invests that power in each of us, forever and ever. Amen.

We live in a world though that would have us forget this truth. We interact with other people and with systems in such a way that we come to depend on them. When we lose our awareness that conditions as experience are here for our learning, we give our power away.

I write this blog with pen and paper. In order for my words to get to you, I rely on a computer, an internet connection, and more technology services than I can understand. A glitch happens somewhere along the way. I learn to work around it and, along the way, have the opportunity to manage my temper.

Deep within, often outside of my awareness, I trust that the message will get through. If it doesn’t, I trust that as well. Unless I empower them, the ‘glitches’ take nothing from me or from my power. Each week I intend to offer something of value from my experience. You determine what that is for you.  Independent of you, I determine whether I am satisfied. (That said, I love your feedback and comments!)

As I look out to the world beyond me, I wonder if the angst and anger visible in our world isn’t a result of investing this power we were given by the Universe outside of ourselves rather than in our own learning to use that power?

We know much (or we wouldn’t be granted the gift of being on this planet at this time).  Yet, we are each here to add to what we know by applying our knowledge in new ways and learning from the experience.

Stop for a moment. What is your greatest challenge right now? Where are you in relation to that challenge? How much of your energy is invested in thoughts like ‘if they would …’ or ‘if only it …’?  How much of your energy is invested in you with thoughts such as ‘what if I tried …’ and ‘what can I learn from this’?

What if we asked these questions from a place of faith that all things are working together for our highest learning?

My truth is that there are no guarantees. Yet when I approach my life’s events from this place of learning (no matter how long it may take me to get here!), I always (and in all ways) come out ahead, even when the apparent outcome may not be to my preference or my liking.

This week I invite you to notice where you are investing your power.  And, if your investment is outside of you, to gently question, experiment and discover the power of learning in (re)claiming your power.

On behalf of the forest, a tree greets the morning sun.

The Gifts of Restraint

No problem is without a solution, and no problem exists that did not exist as an ‘unproblem’ before it became a problem. Every knot was once a straight rope, and no knot unties itself. Gregge Tiffen (Pleasure is Short, Wisdom is Infinite – May, 2008)

The post could be subtitled ‘From Insight to Experience (or Challenge)’. After sharing last week’s insight (http://cindyreinhardt.com/blog/healthy-thinking) about energy wasted and the health impacts of a particular habit of my mind, I challenged myself to laugh each time I noticed I was engaging in the habit. For a few days, I laughed a lot!

Then, slowly, subtly something began to shift. My attention was much more focused on what was in front of me. My thoughts were clearer, my awareness seemed sharper, and I experienced a lessening of the physical symptoms I’ve been addressing.  I was beginning to end a habit of thought that didn’t serve me. Or, was everything just calm with no external events to catalyze my habitual reaction?  Several days of snow, rain, and cold blessed me with the opportunity to read, rest, snuggle in by the fire (and Cool Hand Luke, of course), and to disconnect from the world. Nice!

Soon, the sun came out and I plugged back in. My inbox revealed an email that is just the sort of stimulus to trigger that old reactive habit. Step One: fire off a quick, snarky response. Step Two: play the endless feedback loop of ‘how dare you’ to keep myself riled up and ready to battle.

But this day I stopped. I made different choices. Yes, I was disturbed by the other person’s action. No, I would not engage in my old habits. I would stop. I would restrain from letting my fingers fly across the keyboard in reaction. I would not allow the situation to take over my thoughts unless and until I could think about it clearly and with the intent to resolve. 

This approach did not require that I ignore or avoid the situation. Indeed it created the spaciousness to allow it to unfold, to discover others who shared my view, and to engage in positive conversation about moving forward with them. When not engaged in that way or in my own personal review, I was able to invoke the discipline to set the issue aside and to be mindful that restraint was/is a choice. 

Within a couple days, a way forward emerged through the actions of the person who sent the original email. Others had expressed their concern in their ways, powerfully, gracefully, and with clarity. The way is being shown.

Restraint is a muscle for me to develop further. In these intense times where there seems so little, perhaps restraint is a gift for us to all develop in our ways at our pace. So much learning; so many gifts!

Thank you ‘Restraint’ for ease, grace, peace, possibility, growth, and personal satisfaction (just to name a few!).

Disagreeing Without Being Disagreeable

Teachers at work. The boys at play. "No! I want the stick!"

Whether we are willing to admit it to ourselves or not, isn’t a disagreement actually about questioning how someone else could be so ignorant, uniformed, inexperienced or naïve to see something different than we do?  Patrece on behalf of P-Systems, an independent 501(c-3) non-profit corporation (PS 52 The New Experiment, Series 8, Week 18)

Bingo!  I’ve been sitting with a question about relationships: wondering how it is that I (and we humans) bristle in reaction to a particular behavior from one person, but hardly notice that same behavior in another.  Why am I disagreeable in reacting to Sally and more gracious toward Judy when each has done basically the same thing?  More importantly, how can I do/be the later; that is, disagree without being disagreeable?

This seems to be an important distinction and behavior to master.  I certainly see how it can positively impact my life, not to mention those whose paths I cross.  I doubt that anyone enjoys being treated ungraciously. I don’t. And yet, I sometimes lash out with harsh words or a harsh tone.  This is followed by a sense of unease, dissatisfaction, and disappointment from me to me.

As I reflected on a recent situation in which I found myself being disagreeable, I remembered a similar experience a few weeks back with another person in which I didn’t find myself annoyed even though we each had different approaches. Throughout that experience, I was at ease and gracious, able to make requests and negotiate a way forward.  What, I wondered, is the difference?

Then, my weekly installment from Patrece at P-Systems landed in my in-box (divine right timing, yes!).   When I read the quote above, I began to understand.  

When I engage in a disagreement from the perspective that the other is not as smart, informed, or experienced as me, then the respect needed to disagree graciously is missing.  It’s humbling to be reminded that we each experience life in our own unique ways. Each of us has past and present challenges that form our unique way of navigating life. We mesh well with some folks, not so much with others. With each and every one, “a little RESPECT” (thank you Aretha!) goes a long way.

Looking beyond our own small circles of life, we see examples daily in the conduct of public life and running for public office (and that, perhaps, is a topic for another day).  Imagine what a dash of sincere respect could bring to that arena.

R E S P E C T, the missing ingredient in disagreeing without being disagreeable

The labyrinth ... a place for quiet reflection and peace.