A Thought Never Dies

Hints of Fall Begin to Dot the Slopes

Every thought we have and every word we speak goes out into this infinite Universe and stays there. Every thought we have has an effect on us and our planet as well.  Gregge Tiffen [Life in the World Hereafter: The Journey Continues & The Journey Continues: In Search of Wisdom – September 2010]

The above quotes got my attention this morning as they were what my eyes landed on in each of the two books I picked up as I began to muse about today’s post.  I wondered just what the heck they had to do with an event this week that I’ve been reflecting on and guessed that I’d be writing about.

Last week I wrote about the need for forgiveness to forge peace.  Other than questioning the level of my own courage to forgive, my reflections were more global.  Said another way, they were more about the world and others than developing my own capacity to forgive.

As is the way of learning, the issue was brought home to me this week in one of those ‘small events of life’ that generated deep reflection and questioning: a conundrum, as yet with no clear ‘answer’.  An unresolved conflict between what I claim my values to be and choices I make that aren’t aligned with them. I’m grateful for the curiosity which inspires me to explore and want to sort it out.

This idea that a thought never dies that it goes forth into the Universe forever has my attention in this internal conflict.  You see, for all my thoughts of peace breaking out all over the world, I experience being annoyed by and being concerned about the impact on me and my environment by some of nature’s creatures. I call them ‘pests’: mosquitos and mice to name two specifically.

I aim not to give them much energy or attention. But sometimes they demand it.  During mosquito season, my inner killer came forth daily as dozens would follow me or guests in the door. Without much thought I swatted them. Dead.  Months before, after experiencing an infestation of mice that I was unable to control by natural means, I made the difficult decision to use poison.  Unlike mosquito swatting, I made a conscious choice.

I had the awareness that this choice wasn’t aligned with my claim to value non-violence and peace. While it’s been successful in reducing the mouse population, I’ve never been totally at peace.  It isn’t what I want to contribute or how I want to express myself in the world. Every choice is after all an expression of me.  Yet, I rationalize my decision with the success of not hearing mice scurrying in the walls.  

Enter this weekend, a larger creature.  In the dark of the night, it took bites out of every piece of fruit in my two fruit bowls and knocked several items off of the kitchen counter.  Other ‘evidence’ clearly indicated that it wasn’t a mouse. While I was definitely upset, my thoughts didn’t go to ‘kill it’.  And, as I reached out for advice on dealing with the situation, the clearest was to “set a live trap”.   That action was a success, and a rascally young pack rat has been relocated to a remote area several miles away and, hopefully, its point of entry sealed: a small victory for non-violence and for own thought process.

Compassion for the Perpetrator

Although I’m keenly aware that my thinking and my choice contribute to negativity on the planet and to our human propensity toward violence against one another, I’m not at the place of reversing my mouse control decision.  The angst and curiosity of the conundrum will continue at least for a while.

A Beautiful Path for Strolling Contemplation

Back to School/Back to Joy

Early Morning Orbs at the Ziggurat

If we are to live in joy and in accomplishment, we must release our cells from self-imposed restrictions so they can sense, interpret and move us with the changing times. We need to be ready to respond and to use our experiences to our advantage.  Gregge Tiffen (What You Should Get From Education - 2007

It’s ‘back to school’ week here in the Sangres. This morning’s quote provided me with the ‘back to school’ jolt I needed to recognize that I’d fallen into a pattern of rote response to daily events. No joy. No awareness of using those events to my advantage.

Fortunately ‘back to school’ didn’t require pre-school shopping and scurrying around (plenty of the later just tending to life). I simply needed to STOP, breathe, recognize and reset.  I stopped early yesterday, putting my head on the pillow before darkness fell.  I wasn’t aware just what that stopping would bring, and after a few deep breaths of gratitude, I was fast asleep.

It was only when I hit the books this morning for the spark of inspiration to kick off this week’s post that I took the time to recognize (and acknowledge) that I was slogging through events each day.  I was ‘getting things done’ and in the doing I was more focused on what needed to be done next than on the activity at hand.

I wasn’t miserable, but I definitely felt stressed. And, where there is stress, there is no joy and little, if any true accomplishment. Yes, tasks get done, but without the awareness needed for the experience to bring forth any wisdom. Unknowingly, I’d stepped back into some old ways, rotely responding to Luke’s needs, my garden’s call to ‘come harvest’, preparing meals, running my B&B, attending a county commissioner’s meeting, and a host of other ‘to dos’.  The quote above woke me up to that awareness with the recognition that I was moving through life with a sense of dread.

So this day (and probably several that follow) is dedicated to resetting and getting me back in tune.  I started on our morning walk, putting my attention on feeling the cool air, smelling the freshness, and hearing the quiet of early morning in this beautiful place.  I set aside the ‘to do’ list and stayed present, allowing the beauty of the day to envelope me. I returned home, interacted with a departing guest, cared for Luke and then took myself out on the deck with a nourishing bowl of fruit and cup of tea. 

I took some time to reflect on this process of ‘resetting’ and outlined what I wanted to commit to in this reset:

·        Take time as each task is complete to recognize the accomplishment.

·        Step into each task with joy and gratitude.

·        Keep my attention on the task at hand, not ‘what’s next’.

·        Take care of me – rest and nourishment when I need them (not when I have time for them).

I’m clear that the return to my old ways of moving through each day put me out of sync with the current patterns of the Universe and of me. Perhaps that’s true on such a broad scale that the world is in ever increasing chaos.  What if we each checked our settings regularly to ensure that we are in tune? What kind of world would we create if we simply took time to stop, breathe, recognize, and reset?

The Tree of Joy and Wisdom!

The Gift of Resistance

Most of us have two lives: the life we live and the life within us.  Between the two stands Resistance.  Steven Pressfield

In Resistance is the gift. Cindy Reinhardt

A beautiful hike on Spanish Creek in the quiet of morning's beauty.

At one time or another most of us have been told (by self or another) to overcome our resistance and ‘just do it’.  Whatever ‘it’ may be, if we’re resisting then certainly it’s something that we ‘should’ (ugh!) do.  Of course, there are times when this is a choice that serves us, moving us ahead toward a goal or keeping us on a favorable path.  But, for any resistance on the surface, there is something deeper to be discovered.

This week I (re)discovered that the more deeply I examine my resistance (in this case with support from my coach), the richer my awareness is.  All too often though, we don’t take that deeper look.  Heck, I wasn’t even aware that I was resisting.  

My pattern, when I do notice my resistance is for my ‘should-o-meter’ to kick in. I automatically tell myself to ‘stop resisting’ and ‘just do it’. After all, that’s how you conquer life, right?

But what about those times when our resistance may have a different message, one accessible only with a bit of digging?  For me this week the message from resistance was 180 degrees from ‘just do it’.  Upon taking a close look, I saw that my resistance was asking me to reassess a business decision. My clue to look deeper came when I noticed that I felt trapped by that decision. It seemed that I had to do it: no choice, no renegotiation, ‘just do it’. Ugh!

What was it that had me feel trapped? Working with my coach (thank you Patrece!), I realized that I had made a decision to essentially trade my personal peace for a short term financial gain.  I would likely suffer (rather than laugh) all the way to the bank. It’s little wonder that I was resisting. The gain wasn’t worth it.

My willingness to look at my resistance to doing a few small actions presented me with the gift of this awareness.  Had I barreled through and ‘just done’ those things, I mostly likely would have created a week of stress. And that would have taken me significant energy to recover from.  In resistance is the gift.

As I began to see the situation from this perspective, a clear course of action revealed itself. I needed to renegotiate a promise with a customer. Surprisingly, I felt no resistance. That path felt much lighter. After some initial reluctance, the customer agreed. This week is unfolding nicely.

I’m not suggesting that there aren’t times when we need to overcome resistance and just get ourselves into action.  I’m sure that I’ll have those from time to time as I continue this sojourn.  Our learning opportunity is one of discernment, of stepping back and taking a look at our resistance to determine whether it is simply lazy, childish avoidance (yes, we do); an underlying fear that it’s time to address; or, as with me this week, it wants my attention for the sake of inviting me to take a deeper look at a choice that I’ve made.

Staying In Tune With Our Unique Rhythm

Sometimes we play ...

Everyone and everything has a different rhythm.   Conditions become chaotic when you are not in a position to manage the harmonics of your core energy to create.  Gregge Tiffen (The Journey Continues: Time Travels – July, 2010)

As I look back on a fun, whirlwind week with visiting friends and ahead to the many guests scheduled to stay here at the Dragonfly House over the next several weeks, I have a keen awareness of just how different our individual rhythms are. Each of us marches to the beat of our own drummer.  Or, we give our power to others (partners, employers, children, etc.) to set our pace.  We might even use goals or set deadlines that are contrary to our natural rhythm in an effort to be ‘productive’.

Learning my rhythm continues to be a big part of my life experiment and experience. Although the learning never stops, I’d say that I do a pretty good job of honoring my natural rhythm as I understand it. I think that my greatest learning is doing so with grace (or at least a modicum thereof).

None of us live in isolation. Our lives require coordination with others and with their unique rhythms and commitments.  Perhaps it’s no wonder that there is so much chaos and discordance in our world. It makes me wonder:

What if one of the keys to personal (and, therefore, planetary) peace is to learn to maintain our rhythm while allowing others with whom we live, work, and play to do the same?

The simplicity of this idea draws me inward. Looking back for just a moment, I notice how testy and demanding I become when I’m feel that staying in my rhythm is threatened. I have little room for grace.

A deep breath and a spark of curiosity open the door for wondering how I might engage with others by putting rhythm on the table as a part of the conversation. It seems to me that doing so would create an environment that is much friendlier, one where grace might show up naturally with ease.  I think it will take some experimentation and lots of practice to master maintaining my rhythm with grace.

And, the resulting personal peace will be well worth the effort. 

After thousands of years of war, perhaps learning to step into our own rhythm with grace may contribute one small step toward creating not just a peaceful personal life, but peace on the planet as well.

Other times we rest.

Loving Life

"When you love the life you are living, you have the life you love." - Gregge Tiffen

We have a choice about how to be with the experiences that life presents. And, we have the free will to choose what we will do with them. What I’ve come to appreciate is that every experience is a learning opportunity when I’m willing to pay attention to what’s going on, what I’m doing, and how I’m doing it.

I’m discovering joy in this attention, particularly in some of my daily routines like building a fire each morning to warm my home. Through that experience each day and the preparation required I’m learning many things about wood, how to arrange kindling for a good start, and such. I’m already thinking ahead to next winter – purchasing my wood earlier so that it will be dryer, stacking it in a different place, etc.

That’s valuable learning, but it only scratches the surface. This seemingly simple daily event is teaching me much more. I’ve come to appreciate the focus, attention, and patience required to create a fire that will warm my home. Those requirements make it the perfect activity for my morning quiet time, even though I have to get up from my cozy perch and put my reading or writing on pause for a few moments.

Each morning I’m reminded that I choose how to approach the experience. I’m aware that I could choose to make it a ‘chore’ and be grumpy about how long it takes to warm the room and that my reading or writing has been interrupted. I could work up some real juice when the kindling doesn’t ignite with the first match.

And, that daily reminder strengthens my capacity to choose to love and learn from all of my life, even those events that in the moment I might prefer not to experience: an injured toe, ice melt leaking in the garage, the prospective client that chooses another coach, not receiving an expected greeting from a loved one, allowing myself to be duped into a sales presentation having been told I’d ‘won a prize’.

Those seemingly little things in life can teach us so much and remind us to “love the life we are living,” so we can “have the life we love”. In this month of love, what ‘little thing’ in life can you love this week?

Using What I Know

"Knowledge not used is not knowledge." - Gregge Tiffen

"Without knowledge there is no wisdom." - Cindy Reinhardt

This week, I experienced a wake-up call about using what I know. Perhaps that alarm rings more than I know, but for sure this week it got my attention. Of course, I continue my journey of learning that the alarm is not to tell me that I’m doing (or not doing) something wrong, that I’m bad, etc. – you know that self-deprecating voice. Rather the ring was a gentle nudge that I have an opportunity to learn or, perhaps to use what I already know.

Once again, a daily reading (this one from Mike Dooley who has written daily notes from The Universe - http://www.tut.com/ - for 14 years) was right on target:

Isn't it odd, Cindy? Of all the people in all the world who are starting to "get it," how few actually give it to themselves. I think it's because they simply forget to live it … Live it, Cindy - The Universe

That little bell rang for me one evening when I went to bed feeling exhausted, drained, and as if I’d accomplished nothing. That night, I didn’t, as is my practice upon retiring, breathe deeply and give thanks for the day. My out loud ‘Thank you for this day!’ was MIA. I tossed and turned for some time, before I ‘got’ that I needed to review the day to discover why.

As I took time to reflect, I realized that I had walked through the motions and activities of that day with something other than what was in front of me on my mind. I’d engaged in a number of distractions that weren’t especially enjoyable or rewarding. I’d been thinking about something that, although it does need a response, had NO-thing to do with what I wanted to accomplish that day.

My focus had been past (replaying the event) and future (what will happen?). I hadn’t been present to the beauty of the mountains on my walks, the meals I’d prepared and eaten, the wood moved, playing with Luke, the tasks I tackled, or even the ‘entertainment’ that I used as distraction.

I know the importance of being present to and at choice about where my thoughts, my attention are placed. But on this day (and more than I wish to admit), I wasn’t using, or as Dooley said, ‘living’, what I know. The cost was the peace that being grateful brings me.

So, for today and the days ahead, I’m committed to full presence, especially awareness of my thoughts and being at choice about them. What about you? How much of what you know are you living?

The Way That Is In You

"Do not compare, do not measure. No other way is like yours. All other ways deceive and tempt you. You must fulfill the way that is in you." - Carl Jung

As I was snuggled in front of the fire several mornings past about to begin my morning reading and quiet time practice, Luke, who had been sleeping at my feet, woke and began to scratch. He's been doing that more than usual,

and it reminded me of a comment that a dog trainer made some time ago about scratching becoming a habit in "OCD dogs".

Remembering her comment triggered a series of thoughts about our cultural habit of diagnosing and labeling behavior that doesn't fit the culture's definition of 'normal' (think ADD, ADHD, OCD, etc.).

I thought about how it seems to me we are trying to create a 'one size fits all' culture that, while it gives lip service to individuality, seeks conformity to some not quite clear definition of "normal". One size hardly fits anyone well. This is what I see when I look at our education system, much of the business and corporate world, and even health care. Learn this. Do this. Take this drug. Don't be different. Conform.

After a few minutes, I put aside that thinking and opened my Science of Mind
magazine to start my daily reading. The quote above greeted me, and I chuckled at the 'coincidence'.

Then as I reflected more deeply, I felt deep gratitude for the path that is uniquely mine and for daring to step out to discover and experiment with how the Universe works.

I'm grateful for those teachers along the way who encourage me. I'm grateful too for those who discourage and need for me to conform. Each provides information and experiences for me to discover more about 'the way that is in me'. I'm grateful for the experiences that I glide through with ease. I'm learning to see those that seem not so easy, even painful, as experiments in discovering and developing 'my way'. And, I'm grateful for them as well.

I'm reminded of Frank Sinatra's hit from my college days, My Way.  I trust I'm nowhere near my 'final curtain', but I aim to be able to sing it with joy and sincerity when I get there. For me, that is yet another way to define success.

Reflection for the Week: How true are you to ‘the way that is in you’?

Patience

"The reward of patience is patience." - St. Augustine (born 354)

I had an opportunity to choose and practice patience this week. I’m glad I made the choice and, in hindsight, grateful for the opportunity. Along the way I discovered I don’t think of myself as especially patient, especially when traveling. And, of course, the opportunity to choose patience came in just that venue – a road trip to Denver, normally a three and a half to four hour drive away.

The first half of the trip was fairly normal, a bit more traffic than usual on this particular road, but it was flowing smoothly. No big trucks chugging up the mountain passes to slow me down.

Then, just beyond the half-way point, approaching a small town, we slowed to a crawl which soon thereafter became a stop, a short crawl, stop and all I could see ahead was a long line of cars, one big long parking lot.

I was curious. What’s ahead that’s causing this traffic jam - road construction or a wreck?  When it became obvious that we were going to be slowed for a long while and not arrive in time for a planned event, I set aside angst, frustration and disappointment, then texted a message to let the folks expecting us that we’d be late.

We opened the windows and while Luke either slept or sat patiently in the back seat, I saw rock formations and colors that, while beautiful traveling by at high speed, held even more beauty when I could simply gaze upon them.

The golden aspens were lovely and we joked that we could see the colors changing as we sat and from time to time slowly moved forward.

I watched people as well. Several made u-turns, heading back from where they’d come, none looked like they were having fun. While we donned cameras, others talked on their cell phones, again, not looking too happy. Of course, I can’t know where they were headed or what urgency they felt. I only know that I made a choice that brought me peace, not just there on the road, but for the meetings that lay ahead.

Two and a half hours and about 45 miles later, traffic began to flow at normal speed and we flowed with it. No signs of construction or a wreck, I’m guessing ‘the jam’ was simply folks who’d been up in the mountains for the peak of fall colors returning to the city. But I’m grateful for the lesson and the practice. Peace was the beautiful bloom of my patience.

Opportunity for the Week: Choose patience when something isn’t going your way.

Scrambled

"There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen." - Rumi

I’m away from home this week. Still in the beautiful Colorado Rocky Mountains, but attending a conference in at a resort/conference center in northern Colorado.

When I returned to my cozy ‘home away from home’ (a nice little condo with a comfy bed and kitchen so I can have my morning tea) last night, the only word that came to mind about how I felt was ‘scrambled’.   Unlike my life at home, attending the conference puts me in the position of being with people (several hundred) the entire day. You know, breakfast at one of the round tables so big that you have to yell across the table to meet those you are dining with; walking with the crowd from session to session; listening to others speak. Then on to lunch, eating while trying to listen to a fascinating and inspiring speaker. More afternoon sessions, then, finally the opening gala reception with yet more food and great (though loud) music.

Years ago I thrived (or thought that I did) on such events and the hustle, bustle and busyness of life. In no way do I want to make anyone wrong for living that life. And, what is so clear to me after a good night’s sleep, is that it’s no longer my life. If you know me or have been reading these posts over the past year, you may be thinking ‘well, duh, yeah Cindy, no way that’s your life’ (I had the same thought as the light bulb slowly began to glow) but I realized at a deep level that busyness muffles the voice that ‘doesn’t use words’.

Without that voice I am ‘scrambled’. I need my inner compass and whatever time or practice it takes each day to find it. With that awareness and giving myself extra time this morning to be quiet and listen, I can prepare differently and walk back into the conference environment with clarity about why I’m here and what I want to learn to take back to my community with me. Perhaps I won’t attend as many sessions, but I trust that I’ll make the right connections to leave with information, insights and connections to answer the questions I came with. That trust moves me from scrambled to peaceful and ready to navigate the noise of the day.

Reflection for the Week: How do you listen to the voice that doesn’t use words?

Friendship: A Path to Peace

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin

I love how Spirit (Life, the Universe, God or any name you wish to give the flow of energy moment to moment) works.   Ask. Expect. Receive. Simple, and not always easy.

Early this morning as I woke and picked up my journal, curious to discover what the focus of today’s post would be, I felt a pull between two seemingly opposite ideas: friendship and the violence occurring here in the US and abroad.

Although much of my week has been about friendship, I felt a deep need to speak to the violence that is front and center in the news. My heart said that I couldn’t ignore it. And, so I began to write about its roots, that through the ages we humans have built systems – governments and industries – that have fear at their core. The massive weapons industry relies on fear grounded in beliefs that one can destroy another who doesn’t have the force to strike first or defend. We fear death because we’ve lost our awareness that life is more than the body that our consciousness inhabits.

Where fear dwells there is little room for love. As I observe current events and the continued militarization of local law enforcement, I stretch my capacity to love and feel compassion for those who are so fearful that they believe taking another’s life will protect them. I seek to understand and feel love for those who hurt so much that they vilify others whose views do not match their own.

I imagine a world where peace and love prevail, and this morning’s quote, which landed in my ‘inbox’ compliments of HeartMath, brought me to see the connection that friendship is a path, a way to peace that violence can never create.

This week I am blessed with friends in abundance: visits from long-time friends [a 20+ year friendship that began at the first conference of coaches two years before the birth of the International Coach Federation], a shorter term friend [the amazing woman who fostered Cool Hand Luke out of the shelter and gave him the foundation for being the amazing canine companion that he is], and new friends with whom I have the honor of sharing the peace of Dragonfly House as they come to Crestone to study with their teachers.

These are easy friendships compared the relationships that are needed to forge peace. In my idealist heart and mind I see the beautiful possibility of befriending someone who is afraid. Of sending them love and compassion despite our different views of the world. I know that it will require ever more mindful choices of the words I speak and the choices that I make moment to moment, day to day, and beyond. May I be up to the challenge to contribute to peace in this way. What about you?

In the end I wasn’t required to choose between the two topics, but rather was gifted with a bridge that connected the two. Perhaps one path to peace is to be curious, open and seek bridges between seeming opposites and to allow what wants to emerge to present itself.