Morning Musing on the Deck

Morning in the Woods

The opposite of love is not rage. The opposite of love is indifference. Love engages all our emotions: Joy is the gift of love. Grief is the price of love. Anger is the force that protects that which is loved. We cannot access the depth of loving ourselves or others without our rage. Valarie Kaur (daily quote 5-17-23 in Pace e Bene Nonviolence Service This Nonviolent Life: Daily Inspiration for Your Nonviolent Journey)

Out on the deck! Sun beaming on my face. Cottonwood Creek offering background music with beautiful sounds of flow from the snow melt. Deer nearby. They scattered when I came out. Hummers joyful that the feeder is replenished. Zadie Byrd, content after breakfast, rests as she watches over these woods, ears UP. Stillness this blue-sky morning as the sun rises higher over the peaks.

Thus begins a blessed morning, a blessed day, in this blessed life. How do I express the depth of my gratitude for this, THIS? I wonder, ‘is a simple thank you, felt deeply in the heart, enough?’ For truly this morn, this moment my heart feels it. Appreciation for life, this life, this place, this being that I am radiates in every cell of my body. I am that. I am.

More gratitude for my health as last week’s cold symptoms wane, a lingering cough yet to clear (but moving in that direction!). Gratitude for the health that is this body, this spirit, and its movement to clear and release that which needs to be cleared and released. How we miss this subtle, yet obvious, miracle of LIFE working its magic. 24/7, 365 life is always ‘on’ no matter the calendar or the clock. All Ways! May we go beyond the world’s training of our rational minds so that we can know this, experience this. May I.

I pause to listen to an unfamiliar sound. Animal-like, but not familiar and hard to describe. Not a ‘moo’ or a ‘meow’. Soft, slow, short. Two deer walk up near the Circle of Elders, the sound moves with them. It is them or one of them. I have never heard a deer before. Life’s magic is given voice in this moment.

Before the pause, I was about to write about anger, posing the question ‘how does one feel anger from this place, this gratitude?’ I rarely feel angry and yet I know it has a presence in my life at some layer or level. It sometimes pops out obscuring the love, the care, the curiosity, the true being that I am and want to express in the world, with self, with others, with Zadie Byrd, with all of life. There is little, if anything, to be angry about in my life, about my life, even with its curveballs and setbacks.

As I’ve reflected this week, I’ve come to see that what truly rises my ire is the systems that are unjust, unfair, damaging to people and the planet and have many people trapped in their webs of greed. Perhaps too I am angry with myself for missed opportunities to speak out, do more. Where might I be a greater contribution? What is mine to do? I wonder.

I put the pen down and enjoy for a few more moments of the sun’s warmth, the creek’s song, and the beauty of the woods outback. As I open the computer, the quote above greets me with a new light on anger. The magic of life unfolding!

Cottonwood Creek

Magic and The Beauty of Life

Baby Pinecone

Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it. Roald Dahl

Yesterday morning I picked up a book that’s been on a nearby shelf for several years. It’s one of many that I’ve started over the years then set aside, pulled away by a shinier red ball or something that seemed at the time a more interesting or urgent trail. There wasn’t time to read in that moment, so I set it aside resolving to read later in the day.

When we returned from a lovely post-dinner walk, Zadie Byrd resisted coming inside. It was a beautiful evening, Sun moving through clouds on its journey to the western horizon, calm and quiet. Rather than insisting that she come in so I could read as planned, I grabbed the book and joined her outside. Ahh, the beauty of a Rocky Mountain evening.

Zadie explored the grounds where her long lead will allow, then pawed some earth and settled in. I settled into a waiting chair, taking a breath, scanning the landscape, and absorbing the serene beauty. A moment of gratitude for Zadie’s ‘suggestion’.

When I opened the book, I was greeted by the above quote. I read just a bit more, then read the quote again. Hmm… I closed the book, wanting to observe my surroundings with luminous eyes, ears, and all my senses. I thought of my desire to be a more keen observer of Nature, to hear and understand her messages. That being the topic of the book, I sensed I was receiving a new lesson, one that put my attention not on words on a page, but on Nature herself. I wondered if Muse was standing by.

I picked up a baby pinecone laying on the ground by my feet, probably knocked out of the tree in Monday’s hailstorm. It smelled of fresh sap and was gentle to my touch. I sensed that I was part of it and it a part of me. We were at once different AND of the same Source.

I felt deep gratitude as I wondered ‘who is that flitting in the pine?’. I took the challenge of seeing clearly in the fading light to discover western wood pewee, white breasted nuthatch, and violet green swallow. I ignored the gnat or small fly buzzing in my ear, to watch Sun’s last rays highlight the twists and turns of branches in an old pine that never fail to have me wonder ‘how/why do they do that?’

I sat, heart and whole being filled with gratitude for this place, this time, this planet, life. This gratitude grounds me in what is real beyond the world’s sound bites, stresses, and strains; its horrors and heartaches; its violence and injustice.

As the light faded, I realized how quiet this dusk is. I thought about an unidentified (so far) voice in the woods that I frequently hear summer evenings. As the thought exits, that voice – a deep, one note sound – enters. I chuckle and rise to move slowing in the voice’s direction. Maybe this day, I will see ‘it’. Not to be. ‘It’ is silent.

After a bit, I roust Zadie and we come inside to prepare for our night’s rest. Closing a back window, I see Moon in her fullness rising over the mountains and through the trees. Having spent time with Sun as she fell in the west, I’m drawn out back to be with Moon. Zadie declines to join me.

Moon mesmerizes as she shines through the trees, like Sun highlighting twists and turns in the pine branches. The unknown voice returns, speaks, moves, speak again, moves, speaks, moves … I sit in awe and deep gratitude for the magic of witnessing and participating in this life.

Muse smiles as I write this, knowing that my understanding and conviction of gratitude as a doorway to magic and peace has deepened overnight. Sun has just risen over the mountains and her rays into the woods. Cycles. Magic. Life.

As I prepare this post, I wonder about the symbolism of gnat and I ask ‘Dr. Google’. My quick search reveals such meanings as perseverance, transformation, change, and new perspectives. Sounds like more evidence of magic to me!

Moonrise in the Pines