Loving Life

"When you love the life you are living, you have the life you love." - Gregge Tiffen

We have a choice about how to be with the experiences that life presents. And, we have the free will to choose what we will do with them. What I’ve come to appreciate is that every experience is a learning opportunity when I’m willing to pay attention to what’s going on, what I’m doing, and how I’m doing it.

I’m discovering joy in this attention, particularly in some of my daily routines like building a fire each morning to warm my home. Through that experience each day and the preparation required I’m learning many things about wood, how to arrange kindling for a good start, and such. I’m already thinking ahead to next winter – purchasing my wood earlier so that it will be dryer, stacking it in a different place, etc.

That’s valuable learning, but it only scratches the surface. This seemingly simple daily event is teaching me much more. I’ve come to appreciate the focus, attention, and patience required to create a fire that will warm my home. Those requirements make it the perfect activity for my morning quiet time, even though I have to get up from my cozy perch and put my reading or writing on pause for a few moments.

Each morning I’m reminded that I choose how to approach the experience. I’m aware that I could choose to make it a ‘chore’ and be grumpy about how long it takes to warm the room and that my reading or writing has been interrupted. I could work up some real juice when the kindling doesn’t ignite with the first match.

And, that daily reminder strengthens my capacity to choose to love and learn from all of my life, even those events that in the moment I might prefer not to experience: an injured toe, ice melt leaking in the garage, the prospective client that chooses another coach, not receiving an expected greeting from a loved one, allowing myself to be duped into a sales presentation having been told I’d ‘won a prize’.

Those seemingly little things in life can teach us so much and remind us to “love the life we are living,” so we can “have the life we love”. In this month of love, what ‘little thing’ in life can you love this week?

Using What I Know

"Knowledge not used is not knowledge." - Gregge Tiffen

"Without knowledge there is no wisdom." - Cindy Reinhardt

This week, I experienced a wake-up call about using what I know. Perhaps that alarm rings more than I know, but for sure this week it got my attention. Of course, I continue my journey of learning that the alarm is not to tell me that I’m doing (or not doing) something wrong, that I’m bad, etc. – you know that self-deprecating voice. Rather the ring was a gentle nudge that I have an opportunity to learn or, perhaps to use what I already know.

Once again, a daily reading (this one from Mike Dooley who has written daily notes from The Universe - http://www.tut.com/ - for 14 years) was right on target:

Isn't it odd, Cindy? Of all the people in all the world who are starting to "get it," how few actually give it to themselves. I think it's because they simply forget to live it … Live it, Cindy - The Universe

That little bell rang for me one evening when I went to bed feeling exhausted, drained, and as if I’d accomplished nothing. That night, I didn’t, as is my practice upon retiring, breathe deeply and give thanks for the day. My out loud ‘Thank you for this day!’ was MIA. I tossed and turned for some time, before I ‘got’ that I needed to review the day to discover why.

As I took time to reflect, I realized that I had walked through the motions and activities of that day with something other than what was in front of me on my mind. I’d engaged in a number of distractions that weren’t especially enjoyable or rewarding. I’d been thinking about something that, although it does need a response, had NO-thing to do with what I wanted to accomplish that day.

My focus had been past (replaying the event) and future (what will happen?). I hadn’t been present to the beauty of the mountains on my walks, the meals I’d prepared and eaten, the wood moved, playing with Luke, the tasks I tackled, or even the ‘entertainment’ that I used as distraction.

I know the importance of being present to and at choice about where my thoughts, my attention are placed. But on this day (and more than I wish to admit), I wasn’t using, or as Dooley said, ‘living’, what I know. The cost was the peace that being grateful brings me.

So, for today and the days ahead, I’m committed to full presence, especially awareness of my thoughts and being at choice about them. What about you? How much of what you know are you living?

The Gift of Self-Belief

"To have faith in God is to follow this faith through by having faith in the self." - Ernest Holmes (The Science of Mind)

"The Ultimate Gift of Self Belief is Personal Peace." - Cindy Reinhardt

When I opened my daily reading this morning I wasn’t surprised that the topic was faith in self. You see, this week I’ve been reflecting on the strength of my own self-belief, how it’s developed over the years, and what that development makes possible. I also mused about my observations of what happens when faith in self waivers and the upset that often results.

In part, these reflections grew out of a part of my personal goal setting. They were also spawned from conversations with clients who, in my observation, seemed to lack a belief in self to call upon when life’s inevitable curve balls come flying their way, or who tend to measure success mostly in material terms and feel like a victim when they think they’ve fallen short.

The story in this daily reading was about a curve ball experienced by the famous violinist Itzhak Perlman as he was about to perform in concert. Perlman had motioned to the conductor that he was ready. Moments later a string on his violin broke. Unable to pop up to get another violin, he played with only three strings, creating a virtuoso performance to which the audience responded with great applause. But, it’s what he quietly said as the applause died down that speaks volumes about Perlman’s self-belief. “You know, sometimes it is the artist’s task to find out how much music you can make with what you have left.”

When we develop a strong belief in self, we grow our capacity to see life’s curve balls just as Perlman did: an opportunity to see what we can make of the situation rather than being thrown asunder by events.

When we place our faith in self rather than money we have in the bank, we can be curious, willing to experiment, and even willing to fail because we know that in reality there is no such thing as ‘failure’. Even in what may feel like the darkest times, we ‘know’ that we are just fine.

Strong faith in self gives us the strength to make choices that are right for us, without regard for what others make think, say or do as a result.

Developing a strong sense of self has bought me more in tune with nature and with Source (or God, or the Universe, if you prefer) and help me understand that Source is not something ‘out there’. Rather it is right here inside as wisdom to tap into 24/7.

Developing strong self-belief requires commitment, discipline (think ‘disciple’, not your second grade teacher rapping your knuckles with a ruler!), and consistent practice. If it’s a new idea for you, developing self-belief can be helped along with training wheels (think coach).

This week, I leave you (and me) with a challenge: Just how much will you and I deepen our self-belief this year? Are you ready to start (or continue) now?

Mitigation With Love

"There are lots of things, including changing the kind of inner dialog, that can mitigate anxiety." - Scott Stossel

Mitigation is on my mind this week as I commissioned an awesome crew to help me mitigate the property surrounding my new home. I took on this project with a healthy respect for the potential that exists here for wildfires and, more importantly, with love for the land and the trees. I wanted to give them new life, something that removing dead branches does for a tree. I want to be a good steward of this land.

As I began thinking about this week’s post, I wondered ‘just what does mitigation have to do with life’?

Mitigation is defined as ‘lessening the force or intensity of something unpleasant’; ‘the act of making a condition or consequence less severe’; and ‘the process of becoming milder, gentler, less severe’ (thank you dictionary.com).

Early this morning, I noticed that unlike the 48 weeks prior to this one, I felt tense about what to write. I tossed in a dash of ‘should’ (really Cindy, you should start thinking about this earlier). The trust I feel each week about the message revealing itself waivered. Breathe.

Then, as it always does, the message began to come clear: ‘mitigate the pressure on yourself’. Ahhhh, yes, that. First step: the morning walk. This morning the air is clean, crisp, and cool after thunderstorms dropped blessed rain. Breathe that in. Notice how happy the earth feels under my feet, soft with the new moisture. Smell the freshness. Be grateful. Give thanks. Nature has her ways of mitigating tension and pressure. When we allow her to she shows us the way.

Thoughts and ideas began to flow. The process of becoming ‘milder, gentler, or less severe’, personal mitigation starts within. At its best, love is the foundation.

Like the fire mitigation project I completed this week, thoughts anchored in love not fear make life flow with ease. In choosing loving thoughts, I’m better able to walk through life with grace. Love, patience, gratitude, compassion are just a few of the seeds I can use to mitigate from the inside out.

Unlike the fire mitigation project, personal mitigation is an ongoing process. It requires my presence and awareness to notice when dead branches show up as thoughts that don’t serve me. For only with that awareness can I make the choice to replace fear with love, impatience with patience, loathing with compassion, and ungratefulness with deep reverence and gratitude.

Reflection for the Week: Look deep inside to discover any thoughts that need to be mitigated. Insert love to replace each and every one.

Gratitude is An Act of Self-Care

"Nowhere else will you find greater demand or greater satisfaction than that which the bloom of self caring can bring to the Garden of Life." - Gregge Tiffen

I’d not especially noticed the link between gratitude and self-care until earlier this week when I had the experience of feeling deeply grateful for the commitment I have to what Thomas Leonard, my first coaching mentor, called “extreme self-care”. It was a bright, sunshiny Sunday morning after an amazing early hike with Luke as I sat down to enjoy the tasty brunch I’d prepared. As I took a moment to be thankful for the food and all who had some role in putting it on my table, a feeling of deep gratitude for how I take care of myself swept through me. In that moment I realized that living in gratitude is, for me, an act of self-care.

Perhaps some of you will think “well, duh, of course …”, but for me it was an ah-ha moment. It took me back to when I first began to consciously practice gratitude over a decade ago. I started a practice of consciously breathing in love, breathing out gratitude. Several years later, I realized that love and gratitude lived in each and every breath I take.

This week I have a deep sense that this and other practices of gratitude are acts of self-care that make my life the joy that it is to live, one of many acts that keep me healthy, happy, and, hopefully, on purpose. My first and last thought and words each day are “Thank you” and I’ve come to feel those words in my heart. Meister Eckhart, the 13th century German theologian, philosopher and mystic, is quoted as saying "If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough." I’m experiencing the truth of Eckhart’s words as well as that in Gregge’s wise words above.

Living in gratitude, like self-care, is easy when life is flowing in the ways we want. As I celebrate the birth of my step-son’s daughter this week, I am grateful on many levels. I’m grateful for our relationship across the years and miles, for his happiness, his health and that of his growing family. And, I’m grateful for the internet which keeps us easily connected (not to mention the flow of baby photos since her birth!). It’s easy to be grateful.

But perhaps the ultimate self-care is to develop the capacity to be genuinely grateful in the midst of adversity. What kind of world might be created if we learned to be grateful to live amidst and navigate through life’s challenges with gratitude? Is gratitude a path to world peace?  And, aren't our children and our children's children worth whatever it takes?

Exploration for the Week: Notice your relationship to gratitude this week. What are you thankful for? What else might you be thankful for?

Onward to Spring!

"The fundamental structure of the Universe is one of harmony." - Gregge Tiffen

Although winter may yet make another appearance (or two), here in the Sangre de Cristo mountains signs of spring are beginning to show themselves.  A few mountain bluebirds have returned.  Bucks with their beautiful racks are among the small herds of doe (love is in their air!).  Chipmunks are frolicking and chowing down in the open.  Even a few plants are showing a little green.

As one season ends and another begins, I find it’s a wonderful time to reassess my harmony and to identify what’s needed to bring myself into balance with me, with others, and with the planet.  From that place of discovery and awareness, I can look ahead to the activities of spring.  And, I muse with curiosity – what would my life be like if I attended to this daily.

The questions I ask in that assessment include inquiries about my body (my energy, my weight, overall health, any aches/pains needing attention, etc.), my mind (is my thinking supporting and energizing me or dragging me down?) and my spirit (how do I feel about my life, life in general and my relationship with spirit).   Then, I look at how each discovery relates to the others.

I observed that there is some debris left behind from the recent storm that I need to clear on all three levels.  I’ve started by shifting my thoughts and remembering my power to heal.  I realized that I’ve allowed some scarcity thinking the weasel its way in.  “Out!” I command. Really I do know better and I’m reminded that living abundantly in a culture grounded in the opposite requires diligence.  I also remembered the importance of receiving the healing gift of body work.

Perhaps the most important reminder of all is that life is a school.  I’m here to experiment and learn, not to always ‘get it right’.  When I allow myself to suffer, I’m not looking at an event as a learning opportunity.  When I look at the event as a learning opportunity, the satisfaction of learning soothes and heals any suffering and hurt.

So, bring on spring!  Let me plant new seeds in my garden and my home, in my work, in my community and in my life.  Let me deepen my use of nature as my compass and guide.  Let me participate fully and allow life to unfold as it will, with the deep trust that it is unfolding in perfect harmony.  Let me appreciate every breath I take and my connection to the harmony of Planet Earth.

Experiment for the Week: Set aside some time to inquire and observe body, mind, spirit.  What do you notice?  What needs your attention to prepare you for spring?