Gifts of an Unexpected Pivot

Early Morning Fire on a Blustery, Cold Day

What would life be like had my ancestors chosen to live in harmony with the indigenous peoples here? Would we live in greater harmony with Mother Earth? With one another? What a pivot that would be!

When I looked out upon waking this morning my heart sank as the multiple of inches of snow forecast had yielded barely a trace. Mother Earth so needs a thick white blanket. I too would relish a snowy day by the fire.

Muse whispered blog thoughts as I began to stir and go about the morning ritual of building a fire. Rarely a routine, mindless task, I build the fire as sacred action – a blessed way to begin each winter day, literally on my knees as if kneeling in prayer. This brings me to deeply felt gratitude. Appreciation for the trees and the forests, the cycles of life, and all those who had a hand in getting these logs to my door.

As I settled in to write I thought of an African tribe’s practice of keeping a fire burning for generations as an unbroken connection to their ancestors. It is the wife of the tribal chief who carries this sacred responsibility. A feminine role of care connecting past to present and being present to the utilitarian gifts of the fire: warmth and cooking. Simply living. Simply life. Connection with those who have walked before. Connection with Earth. Being present now. Care. Simply living. Simply life.

I say a silent prayer that we so-called civilized humans won’t impose our “civilized” ways on them as has been done so often in history. Muse wonders with me: what would life be like had my ancestors chosen to live in harmony with the indigenous peoples here? Would we live in greater harmony with Mother Earth? With one another? Herstory would weave a different path. Can we truly pivot to live from the feminine? What a pivot that would be!

These are the wonderings that stir in me in this time of turning, of death, of rising new. Crevices of exploration that come when I step off the treadmill of doing, of accomplishing and simply allow myself to be. Muse nods in knowing agreement. These are the swings in my soul’s playground when I allow Muse to push the swing and simply sit and observe Zadie Byrd, sleeping in her ‘cone of courage’, allowing healing. Stillness and gratitude add to my warmth on this cold, blustery morning.

These are the gifts offered up as I break my decades old habit of saying ‘yes’ too often, jumping in to participate in activities that bring me no joy and are not in service to my Becoming.

Muse smiles, happy to observe the dots I’m connecting and, I suspect, impishly wondering how I will live into these choices in the days (weeks, months, years) ahead. I’m curious as well.

That’s where this post was going to end. Draft written, it was time for our morning walk. As I’m preparing to head out, the phone rings. Finally, a return call from our vet, who I’d called a couple days ago when I noticed redness in Zadie Byrd’s eye. I wanted to know if this was normal after surgery.

“No,” said the vet. We should look at it …” Although she said it wasn’t urgent, I sensed that for Zadie’s well-being and my peace of mind, we should go in today, regardless of the winter storm advisories and warning and reports of icy roads.

I fell into a bit of a spin. Mind warning me of the weather and associated risks. Heart saying, ‘go anyway’. After a few breaths and a short walk, the inner knowing rose: All will be fine it affirmed.

And it was just that: ‘fine’. Perhaps our angels cleared the way. Icy road conditions reported earlier had cleared. Two and a half hours and 120 miles under our belts, we are safely home with drops for Zadie’s eye and confirmation that the issue is minor and should clear in just a few days. I had pivoted from the morning plan, Wednesday morning’s blog commitment, to care for my sweet pup.

On the drive home, my thoughts returned to the blog. Muse pointed out that I’d done more than a simply pivot from plan. My early disappointment around the lack of snow held no regard for the hazardous driving conditions that such snow brings. Hey, I’m home by the fire, no problem. But, as I met the need to care for another, my disappointment shifted to gratitude for the clear roads that made our journey safe and easy. Such is the way of an unexpected pivot. What is dark in one moment becomes light in the next. This IS life.

Let Sleeping Dog Heal

Zadie Byrd's Zinger

Sun Setting on a Very Full Day

When we see difficult circumstances as a chance to grow in bravery and wisdom, in patience and kindness, when we become more conscious of being hooked and we don’t escalate it, then our personal distress can connect us with the discomfort and unhappiness of others. What we usually consider a problem becomes a source of empathy. Pema Chodron (daily quote for Pace e Bene Nonviolence Service’s Daily Inspiration for Your Nonviolent Journey – 24 January 2022)

As I began to think about today’s post, Muse, ever wise, sensing my weariness and knowing that my primary focus this day is caring for and keeping my eye on Zadie Byrd who had eye surgery yesterday, gently tapped me on the shoulder and suggested ‘go easy this day. Share Zadie’s lesson, you know, the one where she turned the tables on you …’.

I readily agreed. Her lesson was potent, playful, and caught me just as I started down the road to criticism and judgement. You know, the one I shared last week? (click here if you missed it). Zadie’s Zinger stopped me in my tracks, elongated the choice point of discernment, and ultimately gave me a chuckle. I suspect that Muse was chuckling too – if not in outright guffaw mode.

Out for our walk one rather cold morning this week, I heard, at some distance from us, the unmistakable voice of someone speaking loudly on their cell phone. Ugh! I suspected that meant they were paying no attention to their canine. Then, just as judgement was about to kick in full blown, Zadie Byrd looked at me, and I heard my voice speak, ‘not yours!’, a cue I use with Zadie when she begins to react to something that we don’t need to tend to. In a flash, my well-practiced litany of criticism stopped. Zadie had zinged me at that choice point of discernment where the opportunity for love waits patiently. In doing so, she gave me the opportunity to pivot from my costly litany to a laugh and to love and appreciation, sprinkled with compassion and care for those missing the morning’s beauty and the joy of canine teaching and connection.

After a full day of travel and waiting when we arrived home from the veterinary hospital late yesterday, I just wanted to come inside and unpack all our ‘stuff’ from the trip, but wise Zadie Byrd had a different plan. ‘Let’s catch the last rays of sun before it disappears,’ she seemed to say as she plopped down facing the fading light and resisting my coaxing to come inside. So, I joined her and, after a few moments, realized that I was basking not only in the sun’s healing rays but in the success of the day and in all that love offers when we are open to receive.

I’m truly, truly grateful and feeling very blessed as Zadie Byrd sleeps nearby. And I may just join the chorus of snores soon.

Catching Some Healing Rays!

Reaching In, Reaching Out

Owl Wisdom in the Woods

Reach – (1) to stretch in order to get or touch something; (2) to arrive at a place, a decision, a goal

The Muse is back (‘Aye’, the Muse says, ‘I never left; I just hid out so you would rest.’). Although the extreme discomfort (okay, pain!) is mostly gone, the body continues to remind me that it is healing and that I need to heed my own message of a few weeks back: look for places where you can do less. The Muse in fact suggests I share that I’m in healing mode because I did just the opposite: pushed through to complete a heavy lifting task solo rather than waiting until I could ask someone to come over and help. Over-reaching. Ouch!

Having limited (and painful) mobility in my shoulder limited my reach and I discovered just how much of daily life involves reaching for things. A mug of tea, a pan and ingredients for soup, a book, the keyboard, a log for the fire, Zadie Byrd’s harness and leash, treats, a jacket, toothbrush … yep, we reach out a lot. Reaching for whatever we need in the moment. Blessed with the abundance of whatever is within our reach.

The more I reached for ‘things’, the more that discomfort reminded me to look for where I could do less (thank you Moshe Feldenkrais and my awesome instructor Jill, a coaching colleague and friend for years before my discovery that she also teaches this method of awareness through movement. Click here to learn more.

When the discomfort became especially intense, my heart opened with deep compassion for those who experience chronic pain. I thought of my cousin who, before her death last year, suffered excruciating back pain. I was experiencing just a small drip of what far too many humans experience every day. I understood how it is in a system that shuns alternative treatments with derisive comments like ‘snake oil’, a system which profits from our disease and pain, that people become opioid dependent.

Indeed, I who shun much of what western medicine offers, would have popped the top had there been pain killers stronger than aspirin within my reach. Alas, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, castor oil packs, PEMF, body work, and most important of all, REST are the tools of my recovery. I wonder: how can these and other alternatives become more acceptable, available, affordable, within reach for all?

In the quiet that rest offers, I felt myself reaching in. Exploring and calling forth what I believe to be true about this physical vessel in which I navigate the planet. It is wise and knowledgeable this body is, understanding, knowing its needs, its limits and communicating that information whether I’m tuned in or not. This body knows how to heal, and it needs my cooperation to act on its knowing. I need only reach in to hear her voice reaching out to guide me.

Inspired by a story I heard during this time of rest, before rising this morning I imagined that I was feeling the warm embrace of the sun before she rose. Reaching inward to imagine the somatosensation of the sun’s rays gently warming my skin and the light bringing visual clarity to my surroundings, I felt embraced by the faith of deep knowing that I live in a friendly universe and, despite appearances and circumstances that seem contrary, all is right with the world.

As I wrote about the experience, I realized how easy it is and how privileged I am to reach in and access such wisdom when I’m warm and cozy under the covers before rising. Will I remember to reach in after my feet hit the chilly floor and when I engage with the world that often seems to want to have its way with me? What direction will I reach at my next challenging moment – in or out?

We have inner wisdom and knowing throughout our cellular structure. What if we reached in to discover the wisdom of the inner planes with as much purpose and intent as we reach out to find answers on Google or stretch our arm to reach for a healthy snack? What if we understood that all the wisdom and knowledge of our dear Gaia and, indeed, the Universe are within our reach? Indeed, what if …?

Snowy Morning in Town … First Big Flakes of the Season

War Is Not The Answer

Winter Clouds Over the Sacred Sangres

The power of nonviolence is not circumstance-specific. It is as applicable to the problems that confront us now, as to problems that confronted generations in the past. It is not a medicine or a solution so much as a healing process. It is the active spiritual immune system of humanity. Marianne Williamson (The Healing of America - 1997)

The above quote popped out at me one recent morning after experiencing a deep sense of the need to shift consciousness, individually and collectively, around what we call ‘disease’. The message came through loud and clear:

War and fighting are not the paths for ending the current pandemic OR future ones. Rather than attack diseases as enemies, reach out with love and curiosity to discover what messages they hold for healing, growth, and humanity’s evolution. Just as we have the potential to cultivate peace with one another, we hold the potential to cultivate health - physically, mentally, and spiritually.

As I reflected on that message and as Williamson’s words suggest, nonviolence holds the potential to address the myriad of 'ills' that individual humans and humanity collectively suffer: poverty, racial discrimination, hate, conflict, injustice, inequality, etc. etc.

We need to stop. To listen with mind, heart, and gut. We need to hear ourselves, our bodies and we need to respond to their pleadings to create health not simply fight off disease when it occurs or vaccinate ourselves against it. The body has vast capabilities to heal and to stay healthy IF we will create an environment within which it can do its job. Clean water; nourishing organic foods; exercise; reducing stress and fear; and maintaining a positive outlook on life can do wonders to create the magic of health in our bodies. This is the foundation of a nonviolent approach to health.

We need to listen to one another.  We need to listen to those with whom we agree and, especially, to those whose views are contrary to our own. We need to hear one another from the heart, not just the head. We need to seek not victory as the paradigms of war and competition promote, but unity. We need to more deeply understand that we are all connected, indeed that everything is connected; and to develop new systems and approaches to thriving lives on our planet. This, for me, is the nature of nonviolence that both Mohandas Gandhi and Martin Luther King suggested in their words and in their deeds.

Perhaps now as a new year begins is a time to commit or to re-commit to learning, practicing, and engaging nonviolence in ALL aspects of life. The 24th ‘Season for Nonviolence’ beginning on January 30th and ending on April 4th offers one approach to such engagement.

Established in 1998 by Arun Gandhi to honor his grandfather and Dr. King, the ‘season’ begins on the anniversary of Gandhi’s assassination and continues for 64 days, ending on the anniversary of the MLK’s assassination. Now convened each year by the Association for Global New Thought (AGNT), this year’s theme is ’64 days, 64 ways’.

I haven’t yet chosen my path for expanding my commitment to and practice of nonviolence, so I invite you to join me in learning more here and finding a path that fits your schedule, your style, and the personal commitment you wish to make to our individual and collective evolution.

Ending Note: As I complete this post, peaceful protest in the nation’s capital seems to be giving way to violence. May the power of peace and love prevail.

New Year Sunset

Knowing

Broken …

‘Knowing’ – This piece is about trusting, trusting that you can find peace within the storm. Deana Fisher Wilfong

…completion. An aspect of knowledge is now a part of you to such an extent that nothing can diminish it or be added to it. … Completion is the natural progression of the planet established out of the characteristics of the planet. Gregge Tiffen, The Language of a Mystic: Completion – September, 2009

Nine years or so ago, I purchased a beautiful sculpture at a local charity fundraiser. I’d come to know the artist shortly after moving here and often admired her work in our local cooperative artisans gallery. I fantasized that when I ‘won the lottery’ I’d purchase a Wilfong sculpture.

I didn’t win the lottery, but the stars aligned the evening of the fundraiser and ‘Knowing’ came home with me. She was beautiful in so many ways: sensuous yet strong, soft yet rugged, a bit sassy, mystical, perfectly imperfect in reflecting a deep sense of ‘Knowing’. The artist’s statement of the piece’s meaning spoke deeply to me, a reflection of my soul’s conviction about trust.

And, Wilfong’s description of the firing process (15 days in the beauty of the New Mexico desert, including 7 days  in a kiln reaching 2419 degrees Fahrenheit with constant attention), the teamwork and trust required enhanced my sense of the deeper meaning as I contemplated the sculpture from time to time. Noticing her in my home always reminded me to trust.

One evening several years later in the midst of some excited human and canine play, ‘Knowing’ toppled to the floor, breaking into three pieces, a few small shards and a bit of dust.  I don’t recall, but I probably cried.

Broken …

I packed her away in a box. I had no idea of what to do, yet I was committed to saving her from the landfill.

Months later I mustered the courage to tell the artist what had happened. She assured me that repair was possible and that she’d even help. We didn’t make that happen right away, and, after a while, ‘Knowing’s’ repair slipped from my awareness as I moved, settled in a new home, and engaged in life. Several years passed.

Then, one day last year I pulled the box off the shelf and contemplated bringing ‘Knowing’ back to life. The artist instructed me on the materials needed and encouraged me to do the repair solo. “Don’t try to hide the repair,” she said, even suggesting that I might paint the seams gold.

Over the next several months, stretching into a year, I started the process several times, testing the material, yet not feeling quite ready. Sometimes a life event came along that took my attention away. But I didn’t pack ‘Knowing’ away. Her pieces lay patiently in full sight on a shelf in my office.

Finally, a few weeks back, I knew it was time. I was ready. I prepared the repair mixture and put the two larger pieces together. They didn’t look or feel right. And, they weren’t staying together. Hmm … Life is like that, we finally dive in to make things right, then something doesn’t quite fit. I realized that I’d started late in the day. The lighting was poor, and I was more tired than focused. I cleaned the pieces and decided to start fresh the next morning with fresh material and better light.

As I worked, I thought about events in life that sometimes seem to break us. Resilient beings that we are, we put the pieces together and begin anew. We carry those life experiences in our cells. They are a part of us.

With that insight, I decided not to paint the repair seam gold. I liked how the new material blended with the original and thought the seam would be the perfect place to use the small shards and ceramic dust. ‘Knowing’ now carries them with her.

I waited a few days to repeat the process, this time, to attach the head. Smaller and more intricate, I found myself wanting to hide the repair. But, ‘Knowing’ would have none of that. She was delighted to be coming back, a reminder of the beauty in bouncing back from life’s curve balls. She guided me to make the seam thick, like an adorning necklace, and to add something new. A small shard of flint, found by a friend on a recent hike and beautifully matching ‘Knowing’s’ color palette, was perfect.

At long last, I embraced the sweet satisfaction of successful completion and acknowledged the learning that had come along the way. Through our journey to completion, ‘Knowing’ reminded me that every event in life adds to our knowledge. While, as Gregge Tiffen suggests, that knowledge cannot be diminished nor taken away, it is up to each of us to tap into it, use it, and keep that knowledge in our awareness.

Indeed, the completion we experience sets the stage for another cycle in the natural progression of life. Onward!

‘Knowing’

Fierce Softness: Life IS Sacred Service

A Teyuna Mamo with Mary Gaetjens of Harmony with Earth Mother Initiative in Columbia

You carry your worth in your heart. Complete, constant, and impartial love radiates through you to all creatures. Gregge Tiffen (The Collected Works of Gregge Tiffen: Echo – Sept. 2012)

Teyuna mamos and zagas exist in deep communion with every living thing, a state they’ve preserved and grown since what is for most westerners time immemorial and what is for them easily recalled through living tradition. (Earth Law Center Website - https://www.earthlawcenter.org/blog-entries/2018/6/teyuna-foundation-launches)

Have you ever been in the presence of fierce softness? I imagine that in being with the Dalai Lama or Thich Nhat Hanh one might experience a sense of ‘fierce softness’. Historical figures such as Jesus or Ghandi likely held fierce softness in their presence. Gregge’s quote above begins to describe what I think fierce softness can be.

I’ve been with people who are fierce. Heck, sometimes I’ve been fierce in ways that are not so positive. I’ve also been with individuals who radiate love and softness. I aim to do the same (and, being human in our culture, I often miss the mark).

Until last week, I’d not experienced the two together: fierce AND soft. Perhaps the seed was planted by Sharon Blackie’s book which I wrote about last week (http://cindyreinhardt.com/blog/reclaiming-softness). For sure, the book opened me to what I was about to experience here in Crestone at a ceremony for three Teyuna mamos and, two days later, at a healing ceremony that they offered.  

I don’t yet (and may never) have words to fully describe my experience. Powerful, healing, amazing, transformational are each accurate, but they miss the mark of complete expression. I’m integrating their words, the exercises we did, and their presence to make meaning and apply it my life.

For now, ‘fierce softness’ best describes the energy I experienced and received as these elders guided us through a powerful exercise to connect with the earth.  In both of my encounters with the Teyuna every word, every action, every step was clear, gentle and showed heartfelt and powerful intensity.  It was clear to me that they listen deeply to Mother Earth and respond with exactly what is needed in each moment.

The intense care for people, the planet, and for every living thing was palpable. I felt that I witnessed life as it is meant to be lived: in reverence and deep communion. That is ‘fierce softness’. That is service to life.

The Teyuna understand that as caretakers of the planet, we humans must take care of and heal ourselves in order to fulfill our sacred responsibility. No one can do it for us. The journey is an individual one, unique for each of us. As we heal ourselves, we heal our relationship to Mother Earth. We begin to live life as sacred service to our home rather than as a race to see who can collect the most toys and do the most harm.

Fierce softness. I’m exploring what it means to live from that place. Where is my softness needed – in my life, in the world? Where do I have the opportunity to soften? How might it look to be fierce in my softness? This week I invite to learn more about the Teyuna – here https://www.earthlawcenter.org/blog-entries/2018/6/teyuna-foundation-launches or watch the movie Aluna (available on Amazon.com) about their journey. And, I invite you to reflect on bringing ‘fierce softness’ to your expressions of life.

The Fierce Softness of Grandmother Pine lives on.