Breaking the Chains of Dependence

Gentle greeting in the woods this morning.

The minute you become dependent upon anyone in any way you no longer have any power to move forward in your own pattern, in your own blueprint, and on your own behalf. You come to a halt. Gregge Tiffen (Finding Freedom: The Meaning of Independence, July, 2007)

Reflect on this quote for a few moments and you may come to discover a key to why we so often feel stuck and experience the frustration that accompanies that ‘stuck-ness’.

Another Independence Day has come and gone here in the USA, the 240th since a small band of visionary revolutionaries, some of whom had deep mystical understanding, declared independence and set a course for a new nation.  We’ve celebrated our freedom once again. But I’ve come to wonder if we/I really know what freedom is. Do we/I know the importance of exercising our independence? Do we/I even know how?

As I observe the political landscape, I see and hear demands for freedom. Fear that someone who is ‘different from me’ will take our freedom away is rampant.  It seems we have lost our understanding that the source of freedom and independence is not man or government. Rather, free will is our gift from the Universe. Independence is Universal law.  Dependence is a violation of that law.

And yet we have created and continue to support dependence in our systems of government, education, business. We give life to these systems when we depend on them as our source. We’ve become dependent on bosses, clients, government agencies and circumstances for our happiness and well-being.  And, in doing so, we give away our freedom, our power to choose.

When I’m deeply honest with myself, I can see dependence imbedded in personal relationships and friendships as well.  We expect others to ‘be there’ for us and we may even be dependent on them needing us as well.

It’s no wonder that the level of frustration, angst, and fear has reached revolutionary proportions. We aren’t being true to our nature. We desperately want to find our way back. So we revolt. Many lash out at the ‘powers that be’ as if they are the source. Others wisely recognize that change starts within and that responsibility is key to the exercise of freedom.

A first step in taking responsibility is the recognition that the tyranny of dependence is in part self-imposed. From that awareness we are in a position to declare our own, personal independence. I’ve discovered that ‘unlearning dependence’ requires the willingness and self-honesty to look inside to what motivates my action. When I help out a neighbor am I simply using the opportunity as expression of my best self or do I have a hidden (mostly to me) agenda to fill an unmet need?

We restore our independence our willingness to look honestly step by step and choice by choice. We learn from experience and commitment that our independence is mostly an inside job. That job is made more challenging in a culture that fosters dependence as a means to control.  Yet, in the final analysis we and we alone are the authors of our own freedom.

Freedom of expression in our July 4th parade!

Speak Easy

An exclamation point in the sky reminds me that every word I speak is magnified.

By the very virtue that you open your mouth, there is an affect upon you.  Gregge Tiffen (Open Secrets: An Honest Performance - June, 2011)

It’s your honesty in attitude that controls your voice box. (Open Secrets: An Honest Performance - June, 2011)

When I’m truly honest with me and look at results and patterns that are not as much to my liking as the day above, I can find clues in words spoken without that care.  And, that’s a story for another day. http://cindyreinhardt.com/blog/voice-your-power

Today is the day for that other story that I digressed to several weeks back. I do so humbly as over the past week or so I’ve noticed an old habit creep back into my way of being: a sharp tongue voiced in reaction to some little event (usually one with little obvious consequence). For the most part (though not exclusively) these little explosions are not directed toward or in response to another person. No, they’re the curses (small but intense) that come out when the hose crinkles stopping the flow of water or some other minor annoyance.

They’ve been especially abundant over the past week. I dislike how I feel about me when I utter them. And, I know deep inside that my words have an impact not just on me.  They contribute to the noise and chaos that is roaring in our culture, adding fuel to an already dangerous fire.

That’s not how I want to contribute to our world.  And, it’s certainly not the attitude I want to carry with me in my immediate environment. I notice how one creates a path to the next and the next and beyond. I feel their impact. They drain my energy and undermine my clarity as I look beyond to the places where I want to put my energy: a project for the water and sanitation board, making the Dragonfly House ready and inviting for guests, a series of webinars to reignite my coaching, loving on Cool Hand Luke and simply enjoying each and every moment of the day.

Gregge’s words appear as I read and I’m reminded of all that I know about the power and the impact of my voice.  I take a breath. Express gratitude for the awareness. And, I ask ‘now what?’ How will I use this awareness to speak easy to me, to Luke, and beyond?

Cottonwood 'snow' on Cottonwood Creek. Ah, summer in the Sangres!

Pivotal Moments

Another beautiful sunrise in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains

Consciousness recognizes Life not society. Gregge Tiffen (The Journey Continues: Sex, Lies, and Assumptions, June, 2010)

Life is an infinite series of potentially pivotal moments.

I always catch myself when I start to say ‘I always …’ Oops! There I go. Perhaps we do have characteristics, habits, ways of being that have been with us ‘always’, although ‘always’ is infinite and goes back beyond this silly measure we call time. ‘Always’ includes every experience that consciousness has had in every form physical and non-physical in the vast Universe.

That’s a bunch of experience to bring forward to this moment. No wonder life sometimes seems so complex.

But I digress. This day find myself reflecting on my own personal thoughts and our collective thoughts in times of tragedy. I’m observing how I and others respond (or react). I see elements of what looks to be our highest and our best. And, I see the opposite extreme. I reflect on how events impact us and how our collective consciousness – the combined thoughts, words, deeds of each of us – are creating the world we experience.

I’m wondering how it is that in the in the immediate aftermath of the event we know as 911 I could pen a challenge to not let fear take over our thinking?  And, I’m wondering how it is today I maintain that same sense about current events while I am not consistent in bringing that same understanding and peace to personal situations and relationships? How is it that my actions ‘locally’ don’t consistently align with my higher global worldview? These questions call for continued observation and reflection. Perhaps there is no definite answer other than how I use what I discover.

All events in life – the personal ones and the global – are FOR us. They invite us to choose whether or not we will participate and how we will do so (or not). They invite us to learn. Some invite us to be distracted from our path. Other events cheer us on.

Every event holds the potential to be a pivotal moment – one in which we choose to be true to Life rather than follow the dictates of a society that tells us how we ‘should’ be.

Every moment holds the potential to be a stand for who we are as an individual, to accept others on the same terms, and to bring authentic love and understanding into our world.  There is beauty in the prickly business of life, our opportunity is to see and respond to the beauty, not the thorns.

Beauty Blooms From the Prickliness of Life

Batting Practice: Time Or Energy?

The flow is increasing, Cottonwood Creek widens and the sound of the gentle stream is a roar. That's the energy of Spring and Summer!

We are to implement what the Universe puts before us, or we lose energy. We use the energy to meet the requirement when the requirement is there in order to gain from that cycle of ‘time’. This is functioning according to Universal time.  Gregge Tiffen (Impatience Fishes In An Empty Pond – June, 2008)

Some folks don’t like baseball because it isn’t a time limited game. When I lived in Houston years ago, I was an Astros fan and attended what turned out to be one of the longest games in baseball history: 22 innings or such and ending at 2am.  Based on our experience, we have an idea of what energy and time will be required when we begin a project or a task. But we don’t know how it will unfold or what twists will be presented.

It’s challenging in our world to not live and be limited by the clock.  We use time to pressure ourselves and we allow other people and conditions to pressure us with ‘deadlines’. We’re surrounded by visual and audio reminders to be ‘on time’.

We forget that the Universe didn’t create time. The Universe created cycles. Within those cycles energy flows, and it falls to we humans to use and direct that energy for our benefit in the experiences life presents. From these we gain knowledge.

I found myself exhausted one day recently and had the thought that it was like I’d been at batting practice all day, swinging against every pitch that came my way.  I realized that my attention for most of the way hadn’t been to use and direct energy. Rather I was ‘getting things done’ on a mostly self-imposed schedule. I was doing each task so I could check it off of my list and get to the next.  I was working against myself and being exhausted by my focus time.

Unlike the batter who uses the start of a new cycle after a pitch to reset and refocus for the next pitch, I didn’t hold each task as a cycle. I didn’t honor the completion of one task and give myself the gift of resetting and looking at the energy requirement needed before I engaged in the next.  I was doing, not directing energy. 

As I look to the week ahead, I’m going to experiment with stepping out of the batter’s box between Universal pitches. In doing so, I aim to bring more awareness and choice to how I direct my energy. And, at when I’m done, to feel complete and satisfied, not unsettled, exhausted, and anxious about what I didn’t get done.  Care to join me here at ‘home plate’?

Patiently waiting while Mom takes pictures and some quiet moments by the creek.

Voice Your Power

Sunrise over the Sangres

The use of your voice, in the simplest of conversations, activates an energy flow and an energy pattern.  Gregge Tiffen (Open Secrets: An Honest Performance – June, 2011)

This week I experienced a profound energy shift. When I looked back at the experience, I noticed that the shift seemed to have been activated by words I spoke in the quiet of the woods. 

I awoke the day of a scheduled appointment in a nearby town with a sense of ‘don’t go’ so strong that I couldn’t ignore it. The day before I’d had a touch of angst about going, but I set that aside (or perhaps I ignored it). I went through the litany of reasons not to cancel, including the probability that I’d pay for the appointment because I’d be cancelling so late. 

I thought of the many times in life I’ve ignored a strong pull to do or not do something, and the consequences of my ignorance. I decided that as soon as the office opened, I’d call and cancel anyway.

Decision made, Luke and I set out for our morning walk.  After a beautiful long walk in the cool morning and enjoying the sun as it rose over the mountains. As we often do, we ended our walk at the labyrinth. When I reach the center each visit, I acknowledge and give gratitude to the six directions and what I see as I turn my attention to each: the mountains of the east, the tree of the south, the valley to the west, the forest of the north, the vast sky above, the solid earth below. I did just that and felt the lightness and joy that a labyrinth walk brings as I walked the circles back to the beginning.

And, as it generally does, that lightness and peace was a part of me as we came in for breakfast.  As I began to think about the day, now a blank slate since I was cancelling the appointment, I noticed that the energy had shifted.  I felt drawn to keep the appointment, run the other errands that I do when I go to this particular town, and treat myself to lunch by the river.  I took a few breaths and checked in to be sure.  None of the foreboding sense of ‘don’t go’ remained.  I moved onward into the day as planned, one that turned out to be quite pleasant and an easy flow.

I can’t prove or perhaps even know for certain that my voice in the woods initiated the shift. But, it certainly seems that way to me. That is just how powerful we are!

I’m reminded to be mindful in all the words I speak, whether to the woods or to another or even to myself.  When I’m truly honest with me and look at results and patterns that are not as much to my liking as the day above, I can find clues in words spoken without that care.  And, that’s a story for another day.

Luke sporting his 'summer cut' at our favorite spot on Cottonwood Creek.

Learning Is Your Power

Early morning haze as the sun rises to shine on Blanca

The more we empower other people or conditions, the less we use the invested power in ourselves and the less we understand about what we have available. Gregge Tiffen (Pleasure Is Short, Wisdom Is Infinite – May, 2008)

You do know, don’t you, that the Universe invested tremendous power in YOU?  It invests that power in each of us, forever and ever. Amen.

We live in a world though that would have us forget this truth. We interact with other people and with systems in such a way that we come to depend on them. When we lose our awareness that conditions as experience are here for our learning, we give our power away.

I write this blog with pen and paper. In order for my words to get to you, I rely on a computer, an internet connection, and more technology services than I can understand. A glitch happens somewhere along the way. I learn to work around it and, along the way, have the opportunity to manage my temper.

Deep within, often outside of my awareness, I trust that the message will get through. If it doesn’t, I trust that as well. Unless I empower them, the ‘glitches’ take nothing from me or from my power. Each week I intend to offer something of value from my experience. You determine what that is for you.  Independent of you, I determine whether I am satisfied. (That said, I love your feedback and comments!)

As I look out to the world beyond me, I wonder if the angst and anger visible in our world isn’t a result of investing this power we were given by the Universe outside of ourselves rather than in our own learning to use that power?

We know much (or we wouldn’t be granted the gift of being on this planet at this time).  Yet, we are each here to add to what we know by applying our knowledge in new ways and learning from the experience.

Stop for a moment. What is your greatest challenge right now? Where are you in relation to that challenge? How much of your energy is invested in thoughts like ‘if they would …’ or ‘if only it …’?  How much of your energy is invested in you with thoughts such as ‘what if I tried …’ and ‘what can I learn from this’?

What if we asked these questions from a place of faith that all things are working together for our highest learning?

My truth is that there are no guarantees. Yet when I approach my life’s events from this place of learning (no matter how long it may take me to get here!), I always (and in all ways) come out ahead, even when the apparent outcome may not be to my preference or my liking.

This week I invite you to notice where you are investing your power.  And, if your investment is outside of you, to gently question, experiment and discover the power of learning in (re)claiming your power.

On behalf of the forest, a tree greets the morning sun.

Mother Nature, Planet Earth

The early morning sun begins to shine on the peaks

Mother Nature, planet Earth, gave us our power, our life, our energy. Ideally, we learn and teach fidelity for the land. We are to take care of the planet and to take care of the body that birthed us. It is everything to us. Take care. Do not destroy it. Do not turn your back on it. That is taking dominion. Gregge Tiffen (Mother Nature – May, 2007)

Years ago when I lived in the city, it was an effort to escape the concrete jungle and put myself in the woods or on the beach of the Gulf of Mexico. I always preferred the woods. After an interim move to a small canyon on the West Texas plains, I now find myself at home in the quiet woods of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains.

Here appreciation, gratitude, and love for nature and for my physical body grow.

Here I am nourished by what my five senses take in:

• The distinguished song of the meadowlark and the gentle sounds of Cottonwood Creek as she flows down the mountain and through the foothills
• The beauty of snow-capped peaks by day and clear, vast starry sky by night
• The solid, yet uneven earth under my feet and chill of the morning air on my cheeks
• The freshness of the earth and the pines after a rain
• The flavors of produce fresh from a friend’s garden or greenhouse and of pine pitch when my hand is sticky and I lick to clean it

Here I notice how my senses work together: sight and touch keeping me upright as I walk on rocky trails.

Here my ‘sense’ beyond my senses becomes more known.  I deepen my connection to the earth and come to know her as the source that sustains me.  I aim for my choices to reflect this knowing.

Here I take care of the earth and of this vehicle that consciousness has chosen for the ride this sojourn.

Here as I plant the seeds that know they are carrots, beets, beans, and squash, I scatter seeds reflecting what I know about the Universe and what I’m curious about.

The seeds are sown. Let the growing begin!

And, here knowing now what I didn’t know when I lived in the city, I see that I can honor Mother Nature, planet Earth, my true family wherever in the world I find myself.

I invite you to join me in the experiment to embrace the dominion we were given. In the weeks ahead, wherever you are, take time to notice and honor the ground that you walk on.  See, hear, feel, smell, taste the planet that is your home. Remember that you are not separate from her indeed you are integral part of the play.

Learn your lines and play your part well.

A friendly junco greets the day

The Gifts of Restraint

No problem is without a solution, and no problem exists that did not exist as an ‘unproblem’ before it became a problem. Every knot was once a straight rope, and no knot unties itself. Gregge Tiffen (Pleasure is Short, Wisdom is Infinite – May, 2008)

The post could be subtitled ‘From Insight to Experience (or Challenge)’. After sharing last week’s insight (http://cindyreinhardt.com/blog/healthy-thinking) about energy wasted and the health impacts of a particular habit of my mind, I challenged myself to laugh each time I noticed I was engaging in the habit. For a few days, I laughed a lot!

Then, slowly, subtly something began to shift. My attention was much more focused on what was in front of me. My thoughts were clearer, my awareness seemed sharper, and I experienced a lessening of the physical symptoms I’ve been addressing.  I was beginning to end a habit of thought that didn’t serve me. Or, was everything just calm with no external events to catalyze my habitual reaction?  Several days of snow, rain, and cold blessed me with the opportunity to read, rest, snuggle in by the fire (and Cool Hand Luke, of course), and to disconnect from the world. Nice!

Soon, the sun came out and I plugged back in. My inbox revealed an email that is just the sort of stimulus to trigger that old reactive habit. Step One: fire off a quick, snarky response. Step Two: play the endless feedback loop of ‘how dare you’ to keep myself riled up and ready to battle.

But this day I stopped. I made different choices. Yes, I was disturbed by the other person’s action. No, I would not engage in my old habits. I would stop. I would restrain from letting my fingers fly across the keyboard in reaction. I would not allow the situation to take over my thoughts unless and until I could think about it clearly and with the intent to resolve. 

This approach did not require that I ignore or avoid the situation. Indeed it created the spaciousness to allow it to unfold, to discover others who shared my view, and to engage in positive conversation about moving forward with them. When not engaged in that way or in my own personal review, I was able to invoke the discipline to set the issue aside and to be mindful that restraint was/is a choice. 

Within a couple days, a way forward emerged through the actions of the person who sent the original email. Others had expressed their concern in their ways, powerfully, gracefully, and with clarity. The way is being shown.

Restraint is a muscle for me to develop further. In these intense times where there seems so little, perhaps restraint is a gift for us to all develop in our ways at our pace. So much learning; so many gifts!

Thank you ‘Restraint’ for ease, grace, peace, possibility, growth, and personal satisfaction (just to name a few!).

Healthy Thinking

Sunset beauty!

Health is the state of natural harmony producing optimum performance. Gregge Tiffen (Open Secrets: The Hidden Worth of New Wealth, April, 2011)

This week’s post is slow to form. I tried a few different directions in an attempt to avoid sharing an unpleasant discovery I made yesterday.  The unpleasantness stems from its being one of those jarring ‘ahas’ when you realize something that you’ve known for a long time on a whole new, deeper level.  Then, after the initial jolt (aka “oh, sh__”) you are excited by the discovery. We humans are a confusing lot, yes?

For as long as I’ve explored metaphysics, I’ve had a strong belief about the power of our thoughts to heal.  When I’m feeling poorly, I attend to my thoughts along with whatever physical symptoms I’m experiencing. I remember that I am the director of my cells and, with deep conviction, command them to do their job in alignment with one another to keep (or restore) me to health.

Until yesterday’s insight, I don’t ever recall thinking about how my thoughts in general impact my health. Because I tend to be an optimist, I’ve not put attention on my habits of thought. Hey, I’m upbeat, after all. I haven’t explored questions like: What is the tone of my thinking in general? How does it impact my life in general and my health in particular?

Experiencing some physical discomfort and imbalance for a couple days, yesterday morning I dove deeply into Gregge’s writing about the body as well as that of Ernest Holmes in Science of Mind.  I wanted to find clear language for directing my cells back to physical perfection at a time when my symptoms seemed to be running the show.

After reading and some reflection on what I’d read, I began to write in my journal. As I did so, I saw clearly a pattern of unhealthy thinking that I unconsciously go to under stress, and I felt at a deep level its impact on my physical well-being.  I saw how it directly related to the symptoms I’ve been experiencing.

It’s not that I wasn’t aware of this habit of building up a head of steam, writing a script in my head as a way to ‘prepare’ for conversations and situations that might prove difficult.  You may be familiar with the emphatic “I’ll show him or tell her and they should …” conversations that occur only in your thoughts.  Deep down I knew that they weren’t helpful, but never had I seen the clear, direct link to my health. 

Busted!  I felt the requirement to cease and desist, to deepen my awareness and choices about my thoughts. Not a new discipline, but a richer understanding of its importance to my ability to walk through life in a state of natural harmony producing optimum performance.

Springtime Snow Surprise!

Awake. Now What?

Tashi Gomang Stupa right here in the Sangre de Cristos

Yeah, right; now what? Isn’t that the moment-by-moment question we are meant to be asking ourselves every day? Patrece on behalf of P-Systems (PS52, Series 8, Week 29: The New Experiment)

 Coursing through us is a Universal flow of energy to give us the power to think, move, and create. Under the conditions of a normal day, we use this power without thinking about it. Gregge Tiffen (Tax Time: Are You Taxing Yourself?)

I woke this morning with this word: unsettled.  I lay quietly with it for a bit to notice whether it was just a word or if I felt unsettled. No, just a word; the word to focus today’s post. Hmmm … If I don’t feel unsettled, what’s the point, the message? 

I took myself to the dictionary. Beyond calm, quiet, and free of disturbance or upset, what does ‘settle’ mean?  To put in order, arrange or adjust as desired.  Oh. That.

In prioritizing rest over activity since returning home, I haven’t put my home and office back in order the way that I function best. When my energy returned, I leapt over that to re-engage in the bed and breakfast (lovely weekend guests!) and projects for the local board I serve on. And, since it’s the beginning of my personal new year, I’m asking ‘what do I want to accomplish this year?’

I notice a bit of angst about not knowing the answer.  How do I want to direct the energy that’s available to me this year? That’s my big ‘now what’ question. I have some ideas and some choices that I’m mulling over, allowing to percolate.

While they are percolating, the more immediate ‘now what?’ is putting my attention on creating the order that I so need as fertile ground.  There is clearing, organizing, and preparation to be done not just in the garden plot, but here inside: my office, the closet, and some cabinets as well. Yes, the garage too.  The body could benefit from a purge as well. After all it is spring cleaning time!

That’s settled. And…

Asking ‘now what?’ moment to moment has the added benefit of keeping flexibility in my life.  Yes, there is value in ‘having a plan and sticking to it’. There’s also value in taking an unexpected hike as Luke and I did with friends yesterday up to the big Stupa.

Our canine friends rest in the cool shade ...

Asking ‘now what?’ creates awareness of our choices and keeps us from operating without awareness.  

Now what? Where is your attention and your energy focused this week?  Are you trying to figure something out or to get unstuck with a problem? You have the energy, the power. Perhaps a simple ‘now what’ will open the door to the direction you need.

... and we find a quiet place for contemplation and peace beneath these Buddhist prayer flags.