Earth's School of Events

For Whom Does Your Bell Toll?

No event touches our life that does not have a use in our overall development. Gregge Tiffen (LIFE: The Staircase of Many Steps – January, 2008)

More and more I find myself curious about what I’m learning from every event in life. Even when that learning isn’t so clear that I can articulate it, I have this sense of embracing life’s events as a learning lab for my evolution.

We seem to do that easily with life’s so-called ‘challenges’. Part of how many of us navigate those events is to acknowledge that they are part of ‘life’s lessons’. That’s where I found my own awareness this week as I faced a computer challenge. What was the learning of spilling liquid on my keyboard and watching the screen go blank?

The obvious is ‘keep liquids away from keyboards’, a lesson I assumed I knew, but certainly didn’t apply. We often discount this level of learning as not important, but even learning to tie our shoes (something most of now do without much thought) has value beyond the surface in the connections it makes. How is it that we learn to deftly move our fingers to form bows that secure our shoes on our feet? And, what in that learning do we apply to hundreds (maybe thousands) of tasks every day?

Events like this wake me up and pull me out of my tendency to not be present in each moment. It reminded me that although drinking a cup of tea while using the computer isn’t rocket science, I’m better served if I do so with awareness and care.  The event also gave me the opportunity to choose how much to beat myself up (very little, I’m happy to report), to do what I could in the moment (turn the keyboard upside down and lightly blow a hair dryer across it), and then to let it be. 

Letting it be proved to be easier than I thought. Perhaps I’ve learned that I can only do what I can do, and energy exerted after that is wasted. Since the event happened on the weekend, I took time to make a plan for getting critical tasks done on Monday. I shed some cleansing tears. With gratitude and faith, I asked the Universe to assist. Then, I went to bed.  When I woke, I didn’t rush to see if the computer would power up. I didn’t even think about it as I engaged in my morning rituals. In hindsight, I have a sense of personal satisfaction about that.

Then, late morning before heading out for a long walk with Luke, I thought about the computer and decided to discover whether it would turn on. It did. Wowza!

I felt deep gratitude, not only for having my computer, but for the event and the learning that it brought forth. The cleansing tears that followed, those were tears of joy.

Life is learning. Learning is life. We cannot ‘not learn’, but we can choose to not embrace life as the learning lab that it is.

What is your choice?

Anchors for Adaptability

New Year, New Winter Storm

Life is apparently going to be more complex than we could have ever imagined. If we do not have something real to anchor ourselves we will possibly be swept away at sea. Gregge Tiffen (The Significance of Beginning – January, 2007)

Even though I’ve created a life that’s pretty simple, the need to be flexible in the midst of changing conditions and events is ever present. I’ve come to believe that learning how to be adaptable is one of the key curriculums that our dear planet earth offers us.

You may have guessed that this first week of 2016 did not start out as I planned. In reflecting on my own need to adapt, I noticed with appreciation that I’ve increased my adapt-ability in the last several years. I wondered about the anchors that keep me from being ‘swept away’ when the unexpected occurs.  And, I thought of friends who are navigating a much larger challenge than what redirected my energy and attention this week. What keeps us from being swept into overwhelm and losing the opportunities life presents for learning?

I came to the realization that my anchors are the foundation on which I base the choices that I make.

You see, we live in a vast sea of pure, raw energy, so vast that it is infinite. This is the Universe. Events occur. I choose to step into an event or not using this energy. Play or don’t play. This is my choice point, a new beginning. I often make the choice to participate or not on the spot with seemingly little awareness of the internal analysis that occurs.

That’s exactly where I landed this week when my friend’s husband experienced an injury requiring surgery. The nearest hospital is 60 miles away and winter weather is upon us.  Their pup Odie is Luke’s best romping buddy, so it was easy to offer ‘Odie-care’, allowing my friends to focus on getting medical needs met. 

But, having two dogs (even two good, well-behaved boys) required Luke and me to adjust our routines and asking Odie to adapt as well. As you might expect, Odie and Luke are proving to be highly adaptable – canine teachers once again.  The choice also required adjusting my plans for and expectations of what I would accomplish this week. I’m fortunate to have the flexibility to do that with most of the projects I’m engaged in. Mission accomplished.

Master Teachers of Adaptability -- Sir Oden Jackson, Flat Stanley, & Prince Cool Hand Luke Skywalker.

So what is my ‘something real’?  It is a rock solid foundation that anchors me in the swirling sea of life’s events. My personal foundation, anchors if you will, is based on keen self-observation, strong self-belief, and faith in the ultimate good of the Universe.

When I make choices from this foundation, they tend to serve me well, if not immediately, then certainly long term. Even decisions that don’t work out as planned turn out in my favor in the long run.

This week I invite you to take a deep look at what anchors you in the sometimes stormy sea of life. How rock solid is your foundation?  How might you strengthen it in the year ahead?

No Insignificant Thing

The nights are getting colder and slowly ice grows on Cottonwood Creek

Believe in the importance of everything you do.  Gregge Tiffen [The Journey Continues: The Legacy for Generations]

Many voices in our culture (most of them well-meaning, I assume) urge us to ‘be, do, and have’ more. “Do big things in the world” and “Make your life matter” we’re told. It’s as though we aren’t enough. 

I lived a lot of my life on that path, striving for goals I thought I should have and placing my security in the material world. Now though, I’ve come to understand life and living differently.  After years (decades?) of angst wondering if what I was up to met the standard of ‘big enough’ and not feeling as though my work in the world was meaningful (of course, I was comparing it others), I’ve come to a new understanding of what ‘important’ and ‘matters’ mean.

Being off of that treadmill is a breath of freedom and fresh air.  I see what I couldn’t see then: my worry was for naught. Nothing that I do is unimportant. And, that’s true for you too.  WooHoo!

In previous posts, I’ve written that every thought we think and every syllable we utter lives forever.  In a Universe that is energy, those thoughts and utterances matter. Whether I smile tenderly or snap impatiently in response to something in nature or Luke or another human being, it matters.  Whether I’m speaking passionately about what I care about, attending to business, or walking in the woods, it matters.

I am a part of and contributing to consciousness with every step I take.  The attitude that I engage from is more important than what I engage in. When I engage with that clarity, I’m at choice and aware of the worth in what I’m doing.

I’m not talking about drum-beating, banner-waving importance to satisfy the ego. Rather, this is the importance of self-satisfaction, self-belief, of discovery, learning and growth. It is a deepening knowing that we are each important parts of a greater whole. Yes, both YOU and me.  

It is recognizing that the opportunity to adopt a shelter dog five years ago and to engage in the journey of giving love and care and receiving unconditional love holds as much importance as other personal and professional accomplishments in life from step-parenting, marriage, and being a charter member of the ICF.  It is taking time to be patient with myself and a postal worker who had difficulty figuring out how to get my international, military package on its way. It is trusting that I’m always in the right place at the right time and not allowing the unexpected extra time required to complete a task  to be a waste or a burden.

Patiently waiting for Mom ...

Importance is not a quality that comes from comparison or competition. It emerges from honest self-assessment, self-acknowledgement, and practicing the belief that there are no small things. What important things have your attention today?

The Gift of Resistance (Take 2)

Will there be snow on the peaks tomorrow?

"Challenge your resistance or resist your challenge."

"You become a part of your own excitement when you recognize that you living your life is you being revealed to you." 

Gregge Tiffen [The Great Pumpkin: Was Charlie Brown Right? – October, 2007]

As often happens I didn’t start this post with the idea of busting a meme, yet in a BFO (blinding flash of the obvious) during our morning walk, I saw that indeed I am challenging the conventional wisdom which says that ‘challenging resistance means doing what it is I/you are resisting’.  Au contraire.

Challenging resistance doesn’t necessarily mean doing something I’m having a reaction to, avoiding, or wanting to run away from.  Rather, it means recognizing my reaction as resistance. That requires being aware of and willing to name what I’m experiencing as resistance, followed by questioning to discover the source of that resistance and what gift it has to offer.

Resistance has crossed my path several in several experiences recently. First was the idea that when I declare that I ‘don’t know’ or don’t have access to the information that would guide me to know, I’m resisting. That’s an idea that I’m still working on.

Then, in a course that I signed up for mostly to earn credits toward renewing my coaching credential next year, although I was intrigued by and thought I ‘should’ (ugh!) do it,  I noticed I was reacting to being taught. ‘I already know this’. This doesn’t apply to me, because I’m (blah, blah, blah). Without an intention to learn, I quickly moved to what I might call arrogant boredom. I grumbled my way through the first two lessons, not taking time to be aware that I was resisting and to reflect on that awareness.

I also found myself reacting to a post from someone I follow on social media. As she pontificated on being beyond about how she’d grown and others who hadn’t (blah, blah, blah), I was turned off, tuned out, and I felt made wrong. More ugh! And with those ‘ughs’, I noticed opportunity to explore and reflect.

Enter reading the booklet that’s the source of this week’s quotes.  I paused, took a breath, named and owned my resistance. As I opened, I allowed the resistance to inform me and to guide me to choose again. In one situation, I’m in the process of shifting my resistance to curiosity and exploring how to incorporate the content on my terms. In the other, I’m simply letting go, declaring that there’s no right/wrong, good/bad, rather understanding that my beliefs are not aligned with the ideas being put forth.

Through recognizing and owning my resistance, I gained new insight into me and discovered the gift of challenging resistance: new knowledge; knowledge that is both useful in the moment and becomes wisdom to carry forward on my sojourn – in this life and beyond.

Yes!  Morning brings the season's first dusting on the peaks ... and

A cheerful bluebird that reminds me to smile!

Catch A Falling Leaf

The hills are alive enroute to Cochetopa Pass

Life is an enormous power to be understood and used as energy.  Gregge Tiffen (Open Secrets: Ancient Rituals October, 2011)*

In the last few weeks we’ve experienced a solar eclipse, the autumnal equinox (here in the northern hemisphere), and this week’s spectacular eclipse of the super, harvest moon.  Each event had its own power. Each of us experienced the events in our own way, unique to us and understood at our own level of awareness, knowledge and interest.

As we move into autumn with daylight waning day to day on our way to the quiet, inner time of winter, we approach the season of celebration: harvest festivals and the holy days of many religions.  As the leaves are providing their annual show of fall color, I move into my annual preparation for winter and I’m reminded of the energy of connecting with the earth, her cycles and of rituals that emerged from observation.

In ancient times, holy days were truly holy. The people stopped. They celebrated and, perhaps sometimes recalibrated, to be in sync with the planet. They observed. They interpreted. They sought to understand the energy of events and to use that energy.  It seems that they understood intention and the power of the mind in ways that science today is proving. From their understanding rituals emerged.

Happy dog pausing to pose on the trail ... 'come on Mom!'

A drive high into the mountains to immerse myself in the beauty of the turning leaves reminded me of a ritual that Gregge Tiffen wrote about in the booklet that today’s quote comes from: catching a falling leaf. A falling leaf “represents the goodness of Mother Earth,” thus good luck emanates from catching one before it hits the ground. It is said that in ancient times wise women sent the children out to do just that. The caught leaf is carried until the end of the season and disposed of at the Winter Solstice.

Catching a falling leaf is not as easy as you’d think. My car ‘caught’ one that floated in the window. I have yet to catch mine.

I think of rituals as habits or practices that I do with awareness, intention and a sense of sacredness. We create ritual when we bring purpose and a sense of the sacred into life whether catching a leaf each autumn for good luck or blessing our food daily for gratitude and good health.

The pass -- an historic place to steep in nature's beauty.

Staying In Tune With Our Unique Rhythm

Sometimes we play ...

Everyone and everything has a different rhythm.   Conditions become chaotic when you are not in a position to manage the harmonics of your core energy to create.  Gregge Tiffen (The Journey Continues: Time Travels – July, 2010)

As I look back on a fun, whirlwind week with visiting friends and ahead to the many guests scheduled to stay here at the Dragonfly House over the next several weeks, I have a keen awareness of just how different our individual rhythms are. Each of us marches to the beat of our own drummer.  Or, we give our power to others (partners, employers, children, etc.) to set our pace.  We might even use goals or set deadlines that are contrary to our natural rhythm in an effort to be ‘productive’.

Learning my rhythm continues to be a big part of my life experiment and experience. Although the learning never stops, I’d say that I do a pretty good job of honoring my natural rhythm as I understand it. I think that my greatest learning is doing so with grace (or at least a modicum thereof).

None of us live in isolation. Our lives require coordination with others and with their unique rhythms and commitments.  Perhaps it’s no wonder that there is so much chaos and discordance in our world. It makes me wonder:

What if one of the keys to personal (and, therefore, planetary) peace is to learn to maintain our rhythm while allowing others with whom we live, work, and play to do the same?

The simplicity of this idea draws me inward. Looking back for just a moment, I notice how testy and demanding I become when I’m feel that staying in my rhythm is threatened. I have little room for grace.

A deep breath and a spark of curiosity open the door for wondering how I might engage with others by putting rhythm on the table as a part of the conversation. It seems to me that doing so would create an environment that is much friendlier, one where grace might show up naturally with ease.  I think it will take some experimentation and lots of practice to master maintaining my rhythm with grace.

And, the resulting personal peace will be well worth the effort. 

After thousands of years of war, perhaps learning to step into our own rhythm with grace may contribute one small step toward creating not just a peaceful personal life, but peace on the planet as well.

Other times we rest.

Life Plan Approved!

“To realize Universal reality, we need only open ourselves to our innate, insatiable curiosity to seek the broader knowledge of many things – then to embrace the adventure. Gregge Tiffen (Life in the World Hereafter: The Journey Continues)”

Summer is bursting out all over!

What if each of us had a life plan that was designed solely to provide a learning adventure that would further our growth in consciousness?  What if we had reviewed that plan before our birth?  And (gulp), what if we’d approved it?  Finally, what if our systems (family, spiritual, educational, business, etc.) were set up to support us in remembering and fully living into what we agreed to before we splashed down on the earth for this life?

Fantasy?  Perhaps, but I don’t think so. 

Paradise – a more beautiful world? That’s what I’ve long believed: that we can do better than the current state of life on our planet.  For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt a sense that if we were all doing what we were meant to do and being who we were meant to be, that we would experience a world of peace, joy, abundance, harmony and beauty.  To my last breath I suspect that I will maintain the belief that an intelligent universe created a perfect system despite the messes we’ve brought forth in our ignorance on this planet.

My belief provides a lens through which I can make sense of seemingly senseless events. This bears little to no resemblance of trying to make rational sense of our world or even the events in my life.  And, it definitely does not mean that I understand or condone all that occurs.

Such a perspective on life removes the possibility of seeing myself as a victim in ANY situation (gulp again). The responsibility that entails can bring my knees to go weak and my chest to tighten. At the same time, it’s a huge relief. 

I suggested just that to a client recently. In telling me about a number of situations in her life that she was experiencing as problematic, she concluded, “I didn’t approve any of this!”  After a bit more exploration, I gently posed a question for reflection: “What if you did?”

What if I did?  The first thing that occurred to me as I sat quietly with this question early one morning was how differently I look at events when I remember this lens.  I don’t shift to victim mode. I’m curious about how to use events for my learning. That doesn’t always mean some big life lesson.  It might be as simple as discovering a new way to do a routine task more efficiently or as profound as seeing another person’s perspective without judgement, especially when it’s contrary to mine.

When an event is especially challenging, the idea that I’ve approved it in advance is humbling. I feel supported to call upon the knowledge in my cells to guide my approach. I can let of needing to get it ‘right’ when I remember that my purpose is to learn.  I aim to remember who I truly am.  My compassion for myself and others as they face challenges grows. And, I’m grateful. 

Summer fun and play time with his buddy is in Cool Hand Luke's life plan!

Change

Do you see the elephant?

The Universe is going to act upon what you do no matter what it is. Gregge Tiffen (The Language of a Mystic – May, 2009)

I chuckled as I wrote the title of this post when I realized that only four letters are different from last week’s title (Choice).  Sometimes I notice little details like that and they bring me a smile. Simply fun, no meaning attached.  I’m aware this represents a change from my former ‘serious’ self.

Yesterday I received an email ‘request for proposal’ from someone searching an online database for a coach. The individual shared that she wanted “more great clients, more newsletter subscribers, and to lose 15 pounds.” It reminded me of another aspect of my former self and of coaching clients over the years: we want our circumstances to be different, but we don’t want to change.

You’ve likely had some experience in this. At one point in my life I continually said that I wanted to quit smoking. In reality, I wanted to want to. Only when I became clear that my health was more important than the habit did I truly want to quit. And, I did.

In this 5th month of the year, change is in the air and with that change I’m aware of the Universe responding, not necessarily in ways I expect or even that I fully understand.

Some of that awareness is external manifestation. In terms of my most recent business (ad)venture, the Dragonfly House B&B, I expected that my attention to creating inviting, comfy spaces in my home, along with an awesome logo and new business cards would generate business. It has!  I enjoy sharing my home and I tap into that joy as I take on the mundane tasks required for each visitor’s comfort.  I expect the Universe to respond to both my actions and my attitude.

Recent guests prepare for departure.

In my coaching business, I’m experiencing the Universe’s response in unexpected ways, and noticing that Universal timing doesn’t always seem to match my own.  Over the past year I’ve put little attention there other than writing this blog each week and on being present for and giving each client my very best. Lately I’ve been asking the question ‘what’s next in my professional life?’ with no pressure to have an answer. That question is coupled with thoughts about reaching a wider audience. Again, I feel no sense of urgency. I’m simply curious and open.

It seems the Universe has acted upon that as well, providing a forum for me to be interviewed and for ‘The Zone’ to be featured to the audience of a leading coach training organization. YES! (and, yes, I’ll post a link when it’s available!)

Whatever is present in our life is the result of our actions and the Universe’s response. That is the law.  When we change we give the Universe something new to act upon and magnify. With experimentation and practice, we can use the law of cause and effect (karma if you will) to our benefit with awareness, gratitude, and a sense of wonder.

'Come on Mom ... we're almost to my favorite spot!'

Self-Belief Revisited

Strong self-belief helps us weather life's storms with ease and grace ...

The Universe doesn’t make ninnies. Gregge Tiffen (Tax Time: Are You Taxing Yourself?)

 About this time last year, I penned a blog post inspired by two important people in my life: my amazing stepson who had just written a short post about unconditional love on Facebook and my coach who proposed the idea that self-belief “provides the freedom for individuals to acknowledge one another’s beliefs without interference”.  In my reflection, the two wove together creating the idea that “self-belief is the foundation for love”. (You can see that post here: cindyreinhardt.com/blog/self-belief-is-the-foundation-for-love).  And, I wrote about its relationship to personal peace earlier this year (cindyreinhardt.com/blog/the-gift-of-self-belief).

This week as I was preparing for an interview, last year’s post caught my eye. It led me to take time to review Gregge Tiffen’s writing on the subject and to look at my own self-belief. 

I started with a fundamental question:  What do you believe? Then, as I reflected a bit, a distinction began to emerge: What is the foundation of your beliefs? Are they grounded in what you do or in what you are?  I sensed a clear difference.

If beliefs are grounded in what you do, you will likely find yourself continually pressured to do in order to ‘prove’ your worth.  Most of us know this first hand. We’ve ‘been there/done that’ and we live in a culture that seems to call us to stay on this treadmill.  We do, do, do and, yet, make little progress other than checking things off of our ‘to do’ list. Standards and expectations constantly change so we are forever ‘doing’ just to feel like we are keeping up.

On the other hand, what do you believe about what you are?  Over the past year of changes, I’ve deepened my belief in and understanding that we live a benevolent Universe as beloved children of that Universe.  (Yes, I am loved. I need do nothing to prove it. And, the same is true for you!)  In his writings about self-belief, Gregge shares that we are created in the image of the Universe as “strong, dependable, creative, self-assured, intelligent, harmonious, complete.”  Nothing (NO thing) needs to be added.

These qualities reside in every cell of our body. We OWN our cells and part of our learning is to discover how to direct them.  If you are reading this post, you are alive. You have navigated the valleys and challenges of life by doing just this, perhaps with little or no awareness, but with a level of determination and conviction that got you through.

With this awareness we can embrace these many victories and allow them to nurture our self-belief. Yet, all too often we see a list of qualities like this and stories about how we fall short crop up in abundance drowning out any urge to celebrate. Our job is to stop such stories in their tracks.  We do so by remembering both what we are and that ‘the Universe doesn’t make ninnies.’

I believe that it is here in our self-belief that we make real progress in life. In self-belief we find success, security and all those things that we have struggled to acquire. We struggled because we looked outside ourselves (our cells) for what truly is an inside job.

... And, to not take ourselves too seriously. (Mom, can we go play now?)

ASK! Don't Tell.

A spring storm, like a dusty corner, brings gifts to life.

Only you can truly know you. Me

As a coach, I’m trained to ask and to listen. Then to ask again, giving my client the space and structure to discover the approach, the answer, the insight that only they can divine. The ‘ah ha’ moments that has brought over the years are rich, exciting and a large part of the satisfaction my work has given me.

Asking not telling is an approach that’s also aligned with what I know metaphysically: only you can truly know you. It’s a powerful way of relating to others not just to clients or customers. Asking creates openings where ‘telling’ or ‘being told’ closes doors (I know. I dislike being told – sometimes even when I’ve first asked to be.)

Of course, we all know this. But, this week, I discovered places where I’m not using what I know. I noticed that I was using a different approach in conversations where I was wearing my ‘community leader’ hat.  The awareness came as I reflected on several conversations from which I’d come away feeling restless, dissatisfied, bummed.

As many reflections do, it started with ‘them’: if only they would … (I’m guessing you’re familiar with this reflection).

Then, as I went a little deeper, I saw that rather than starting with my natural care and curiosity to create spaciousness in the conversation, I was starting with ‘I know. Let me tell you.’  I was assuming (we all know about ass-u-me) – not consciously of course – that I was being told something in order to solicit my opinion. I was using the conversation not as a place for exploration, but as a place for telling what I (think that) I know. 

As the place where much of our learning starts, let’s just say that ‘it wasn’t pretty’.  It was a dark, dusty corner asking for the light of attention: the light of bringing my caring, curious self to these community conversations and of using my ‘knowing self’ much more selectively.

I noticed something else as well. I’ve come to a place in life where I can identify these dark, dusty corners without the guilt and beating myself up for not being the perfect, caring, curious me.  I like discovering those dark, dusty corners. They represent where new learning begins. And, in a Universe meant for learning, that’s a great measure of success.

Blanca Peak showing off her fresh spring snow on a clear, crisp spring morning.